Of Things Misplaced
by Caeleinn
Summary: Items, affections, priorities, even people can all become misplaced. So how does a modern woman cope when she finds herself in a world where magic isn't a myth and dragons really do exist? Features everyone from DA2, plus one OC. Cover: Anders artwork used with permission from GiveThemHorns at Deviant Art. Female stock photo from Lisajen-stock at Deviant Art.
1. Displaced

_Disclaimer: Bioware owns the characters of Dragon Age II; I own Bailey. I wish I had my own Anders..._

* * *

'_Well, this is just great,'_ Bailey thought as she pushed aside another branch with one hand and hitched up her backpack with the other. It was supposed to have been a fun and relaxing weekend with friends, camping and hiking in northern Georgia, but she had gotten separated from the rest of the group when they went into that cave. Now, on the other side of it, she had gotten turned around. Her compass was acting crazy; the needle kept spinning back and forth and even the trees looked a bit…different. They seemed too green for mid-October, even if it was the south. She pushed away another branch and found herself standing at the edge of what appeared to be a well-used dirt road. She shrugged the straps of her pack off of her shoulders and swung it around to dig for her copy of the map the park guide had given to everyone in her group. _'There aren't any roads shown on this map. What the hell?'_ she thought as she studied it.

Suddenly, a low menacing growl reached her ears and her heart jumped into her throat. Standing as still as she possibly could, she let her eyes slide to her left to see what was making that noise, expecting a bear or even a mountain lion. What she saw instead was some kind of creature that should have been in a horror movie or a nightmare…and it was moving right toward her with purpose, a weapon in its raised hand. Screaming, she dropped the map and ducked down to curl into a ball, her hands scrambling for a branch or something that she might use to defend herself. She raised her eyes, hearing another human shouting, and saw a man running towards her. Before she could react, the creature backhanded her and she dropped to the ground. The last thing she saw as the world faded away was the man glowing blue and what looked like a ball of fire shooting from his hand. _'How…weird' _was the last thought Bailey had as the blackness finally took her.

* * *

It only took a couple of quick fireballs to destroy the Hurlock that was threatening the woman. Once it was dispatched, Anders hurried over to examine her. It looked like she had taken a wallop to the head. His fingers gently and quickly moved through her hair, a small bit of magic in them as he made sure her skull wasn't cracked. No blood either; that was good. Meant she wouldn't be subject to the taint. He looked around and saw her strange looking pack and the piece of paper she had been examining. He quickly gathered her things, stopping only briefly to marvel at the feel of such fine parchment, and swung the strap of her pack onto his shoulder before gently picking her up in his arms and heading back down the road to the camp he had set up. No way was he going to leave her out here, apparently on her own.

Upon reaching his camp, he kicked open his bedroll and laid her down on it, then moved to the other side of the fire to sit. As he waited for her to wake, he kept an eye and ear out for more Darkspawn and studied his patient. She was no young girl; she appeared to be closer to his own age or perhaps a few years older even, if the tiny wrinkles at the corners of her eyes were any indication. Her blond hair was pulled back with some sort of clip, exposing her neck. A fine silver chain was barely visible above the neckline of her…shirt. He hesitated to call it that, as it appeared to be as skimpy as an undershirt. It had felt soft against his hands, too. Her legs were covered by trousers made of a finely woven but heavy blue material. They must have been old, as faded as they were. Her feet were encased in a rugged leather shoe, the bottoms of which had some kind of design carved into the thick sole. _'Not very practical. Probably leaves a print that is easy to track,'_ he thought. But they looked sturdy and broken in. He picked up her pack and ran his hands over the fabric of it. It felt…odd. The style was something he had never seen before, and he had seen plenty in his life. But he could also see immediately that it was a very practical design, with two straps and several small pockets. He set it to the side as he heard her beginning to stir and quickly moved to kneel next to her. As her eyes began to open, he softly asked, "Are you alright? Do you need any healing?"

Sound was the first sense to return to her. She heard the faint crackling of wood as it burned. Smell followed quickly after. Smoke tickled her nose, making her want to sneeze. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and her mind tried to process her surroundings. Hearing a male voice so close to her, though, caused her to sit up suddenly and crawl backwards until her back hit against a rock. Her head pounded from the quick movements and she lifted a hand to press it against her temple. Her eyes were wide as she looked at the man she had seen running toward her…the same one that she was sure she had seen glowing blue. He gave her a small smile and held his hands up, palms toward her, the universal sign language of "I mean no harm" and moved a few feet back from her.

Bailey looked around herself and saw she was in some kind of primitive camp. Her backpack was on the other side of the fire, lying near what was probably his stuff. She looked back at him and her mind quickly took in his appearance. His shoulder length blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and only seemed to accent his high cheekbones. His jaw was scruffy, like he hadn't shaved in a week. His eyes were a clear brown, his nose a bit long, and his mouth was curved in a little smile. His clothing looked like something out of a fantasy movie, his shoulders covered with what looked like feathers, his coat long and hanging open, and a long leather belt wrapped around his waist. "Who the hell are you and where the hell am I?" she spat out nervously. Fear made her native Southern drawl thicker.

Anders blinked at her accent. It was certainly not one he'd ever heard before. He tried to give her a reassuring smile as he answered. "You may call me Anders. As for where we are, I'm not sure where 'Hell' is, but we could be there. Or, we could be somewhere along the coast between Amaranthine and Highever."

Bailey blinked at him. An English accent was the last thing she had expected to hear in this part of the country, so it took her a moment to process his words. "Amaranthine? Highever? There aren't any towns around here with those names. What are you talking about? And what was that thing that attacked me? And did I really see you throw fire at it? I mean, who carries a flame thrower around in the woods anyway? Seems irresponsible to me." She knew she was babbling, but her nerves were on edge and she couldn't seem to make herself stop.

His eyebrows furrowed downward as she talked. This was getting stranger and stranger. "Amaranthine is a city to the east. Formerly the capital of Ferelden. Highever is a smaller town to the west, ruled over by the Cousland family. As for that creature, it was a Hurlock, one of the lesser of the Darkspawn. Surely you've seen one before; there was a Blight in Ferelden this past year. Those damn things were everywhere. And for your final question…" He raised his cupped right hand and called a small bit of flame into it. "You…have seen a mage before, right?" he said, questioningly.

She didn't think her eyes could get any bigger and she was a bit embarrassed by the sound that escaped from her lips upon seeing the fire sitting there in his hand. "Ohmygodohmygod. This is too crazy to be real. That's it. I hit my head in that cave and I'm unconscious in there right now, probably bleeding from a head wound. That must be it. This is all just a hallucination from head trauma."

Anders shook the fire from his hand and pulled up a healing spell. "Are you alright? You did take a nice hit to the head from that Hurlock. Are you still feeling any pain or dizziness? I can help, if you want." He didn't understand much of what she was saying, but it was clear that she had apparently been through some sort of ordeal. _'But her clothing. Her pack. They're unlike anything I've ever seen. And that accent…just where is this woman from?'_ he wondered to himself.

"No. Don't…don't touch me. I wanna go home. Where is that cave? Just take me back there."

He gazed at her and let the spell go. He gestured over his shoulder and said, "I found you just down the road. It must be around there."

He stood and picked up the long stick that was nearby, did something to strap it to his back and waited patiently for her. She pushed herself to her feet and kept her eyes locked on him as she moved to grab her backpack. He swept his hand across his body to indicate that she should lead. "Uh huh. I don't want you behind me. But I don't want you in front of me, either. Just…walk next to me so I can keep an eye on you."

Anders chuckled a little. "I promise, I will not harm you. But if it makes you more comfortable, I will leave a few feet between us as I walk beside you."

Bailey nodded and moved towards the road she could see just a few feet to her right. Upon reaching it, she glanced at him and he indicated they should turn to her left. She was silent as they walked, trying to keep her attention on him and her surroundings at the same time. He was right though; the area where she had been attacked really wasn't that far down the road. There was a dark smudge where that…_thing_ had been burned. She turned off the road and searched for signs of where her trail had brought her out of the trees. She spotted some trampled down grass and began following it back, pushing branches out of her way, looking for that damn cave. Her stomach fluttered with anxiety as she went further, wishing she could recall how long it had taken her to reach the road from the cave entrance. The strange man walking along behind her did nothing to quell her nerves.

She cried out happily when she finally saw the dark opening between two tree trunks and rushed forward to go into it. Anders followed, calling up a bit of flame to his hand to shed some light in the interior. They were stopped by a solid rock wall only six feet in, however. Bailey stood there, dumbly staring at the wall and muttering, " No…nonono. No! I want to go home!"

She moved forward and began running her hands over the surface, walking back and forth, feeling for an opening, a crack, _anything _that might show where she had come through earlier. Bailey muttered angrily to herself as she searched. She had just _had_ to go and examine that side tunnel and the faintly glowing lights she had glimpsed. Never mind that the glowing blue worm things had been so beautiful…look at what had happened to her. Her frustration, fear, and anger began to overcome her. She glared up at the rock wall in front of her and kicked it, hard. When that didn't work, she began hammering her fists against the rough stone and screaming, "Let me back through! Open up, you damn rock! I want to go home…I WANT TO GO HOME!"

Anders watched as she frantically ran her hands over the stone. He could hear her muttering something about side tunnels and glow worms. He could see she was getting more and more agitated and he couldn't stop himself from wincing when she kicked the wall. When she began hitting it, he moved towards her to stop her as he could see her hands were beginning to bleed. She suddenly sank down into a ball at the base of the wall and her shoulders shook with heart-wrenching sobs. He gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders and quietly said, "Come on. Come away from here. Let me fix your hands and then you can tell me what happened."

She looked up at him, her eyes overflowing with tears. She forced herself to her feet and numbly walked with him back to his camp. He sat her down on a rock and cupped her hands in his, the blue light of his healing spell feeling like warmth on her skin. Bailey knew she should have been shocked at how her skin knit itself back together under his hands, but she just couldn't pull up the energy to feel _anything_. He didn't speak or push her to talk; instead, he moved away from her and rummaged in his pack to pull out some food. He handed her some bread, cheese, and some dried jerky and placed a wooden mug full of water near her. "Eat, and then sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning. You're safe…I'm sorry, you still haven't told me your name."

She just stared at the bread in her hand as she spoke, her voice sounding hollow. "Bailey. My name is Bailey Watson."

Anders nodded. "I wish we had met under better circumstances, Bailey Watson. But I promise, you are safe for tonight at least."

She glanced at him as he moved away, then woodenly ate the food he had given her. When it was gone, she moved to lie down on the pad she had woken up on earlier. Pulling the blanket over her head, she let the tears fall over her cheeks until she fell asleep.

Anders watched as she moved to his bed and curled up under the blanket. He leaned back against the rock she had sat on and contemplated the events of the past few hours. As desperate as his own situation was, he simply could _not_ leave her to fend for herself. Whatever had happened to her had left her in no condition to do so. And that scene in the cave…those were the actions of someone desperate to escape. He knew that feeling well. Still, morning couldn't come soon enough for him. It would bring answers to hopefully all of his questions about the woman currently occupying his bedroll. Once that was decided, he settled against the rock more comfortably and spent the night on watch for more Darkspawn stragglers.

* * *

_Author Note: If anyone found this remotely interesting, then thank you. There is more to come. Speaking of, my beta reader has become loaded down with class work, so I'm looking for someone to take over beta reading. If you're interested, drop me a PM here, and thanks in advance!_


	2. Revealing Truths

Morning brought a rude awakening to Bailey. As she attempted to bring her brain online, she wondered why her mattress was so hard…and why it felt like she had been sleeping on rocks all night. She began to stretch the kinks from her body when a male voice said quietly, "Good, you're awake. I was beginning to wonder if that knock on the head you took yesterday did more damage than I thought."

Her body twitched violently and she spun around to look at the man that had spoken. Her heart pounding, she stared at him with wide eyes as the events of the previous day rushed back to her. She closed her eyes, put a hand over them and cursed softly. "So it wasn't just a bad dream," she said, a hint of anguish in her voice.

Anders chuckled lightly. "Well, I've never had that reaction from a woman that spent the night in my bed. But no, it wasn't a dream. I'm real, that Darkspawn was real, the rock I leaned against all night is real, and this breakfast is real. Hungry?"

She removed her hand, opened her eyes, and stared at him. He gave her a cocky smile and held a plate out toward her. She glanced down at it to see just what was for breakfast; her stomach was grumbling a bit. She reached for the plate after seeing the fried egg and toasted bread. His smile turned less cocky and more sympathetic as she moved back from him.

He turned back to the fire and checked on his own bread, stuck on a pointed stick he had leaned against a rock so it wouldn't fall into the fire and burn. He found it ready so he pulled it off and sandwiched his own egg between the two pieces. The eggs had been a lucky find two days ago. The owners of the small farm stead had left but the chickens hadn't. He observed Bailey from the corner of his eye as he ate his breakfast. He would give her a bit of time to eat and fully wake up before he broached the subject of her presence.

Bailey finished her egg and the last bit of her toast and then set the plate down beside her thigh. Now that her stomach was appeased, other pressing matters were making themselves known. She rose to her feet and stepped over to her backpack to pull out the small roll of tissue she had in there for emergencies. As she started to leave the area around the fire, Anders asked, "Where are you going?"

She turned back to him and snapped, "To answer nature's call. Is that alright with you?"

Anders felt his cheeks grow a bit warm and he sat back down, having risen to a crouch. "Oh. Um…there are briars that direction. You might want to go over that way." He gestured to Bailey's left. He watched as she turned in the direction he indicated and disappeared behind several trees and lower bushes. She was apparently awake, now. He decided he would try to talk to her when she returned.

Five minutes later, Bailey walked back into camp and dropped her roll of tissue into her backpack. She stood next to it for a few moments, put her hands on her hips and turned to look at… _'What did he say his name was? Andrew? No…Anders,'_ she thought. "I'd like to go back to that cave again."

He looked up at her from where he was bent over, pushing the now cleaned plate and a small frying pan into a bag. He raised one eyebrow and asked point blank, "Why?"

She set her mouth in a firm line. "Because I know that is the way home for me. It's where I came out, so it only stands to reason that it's also the way back."

He straightened up, nodded once and moved to sit down on a nearby rock. "I'm actually glad you brought this up. I wasn't sure how to do so without seeming like a heartless bastard. You kept saying that in the cave yesterday, about wanting to go home. It also looked like you were searching for something on that wall in there. What happened, Bailey? Where are you from, really? Because your clothes, your pack and your accent are like nothing I have ever seen or heard or read about. And trust me; I did a lot of reading at the Circle."

Bailey looked down at him, trying to decide if he was pulling a really elaborate joke on her or not. He gazed back at her, his head cocked to one side, and his face holding a look of genuine curiosity. She threw her hands up and said, "Fine. I'll play along."

She sat down on another rock and gave him a _look_. "I'm supposed to be camping with friends in a state park near Lookout Mountain. We went on a hike and found this cave. We all decided to check it out, only once we got in there, I just had to go see what was glowing blue in that side tunnel. I must have gotten turned around in that cavern, because when I finally found my way out of it, I was attacked by some monster from a horror movie and saved by a man that can apparently set things on fire with a touch of his hands. So," she said sharply, "If I can find my way back to that cavern with the blue glow worms, I just might be able to go home from wherever this place is…because it sure isn't Georgia."

As she spoke, Anders felt his insides grow still. When she talked about the blue glow worms, his stomach tightened just a little. Those things only appeared where the Veil was thin; sort of like ghosts, but they weren't malevolent. Another thought crossed through his mind, one that would have been unbelievable had she not been sitting in front of him, proving its truth. _'She crossed through a piece of the Fade from another world,'_ he thought. The thought rocked him to his boots. He knew people could become trapped in the Fade, but he had never heard of it as being a way to travel. This was a situation completely beyond him; he was going to have to get help with this one. He looked over at her and quietly said, "I think I know what has happened to you, Bailey. I'm not sure exactly _how_ it happened, or how to replicate it, but I know some people that might be able to help."

Bailey looked at him hopefully, then felt those hopes fall as he held up a hand and said, "I'm not promising that they will definitely be able to help; I only said _might_. And getting there will be dangerous, I won't lie. My own situation is…precarious. But, if you're willing to face the risks, I'll try to get you to them."

She gazed back at him and lifted a hand to chew on her thumb as she thought it over. "How far away are these people?"

He shrugged and said, "Across the Waking Sea in Kirkwall. It will probably take a few more weeks to get to Highever. Then we'll need to find a boat that would be willing to take the voyage. It'll take a week to cross the sea, if the winds are good. I would say we could be there in a little over a month, give or take a week."

Bailey stared at him in horror. "A month?" she cried. "A whole freaking month, and that's just a rough guess?"

"Unless you happen to have a horse or two in that strange pack of yours, yes, a month or so." He tossed up a hand as he continued, "Or, you know, you could just go and sit in that cave, waiting for something to happen. All alone. In the dark. With Darkspawn still out and about. You might even see a demon or two." He leaned backwards a little on his rock and nodded his head once. "Good luck with that."

She gave him a glare and gritted her teeth. "Fine. A month. But these friends of yours better be helpful."

Anders winced a little, his eyebrows drawing together. He slowly shook his head as he said softly, "I never said they were friends. Just that I know of them."

The first couple of weeks were tough on both of them after her surprising and unwanted arrival into this strange world. She was moody and standoffish with Anders until one night, he sat her down and explained just how dangerous his situation was and how her behavior was not helping him any. She countered with the fact that he could have just left her where he found her. He looked sad at that and told her that he wouldn't have the blood of innocents on his hands again, not if he had the choice. He wouldn't say anything more and left her to think over what he had told her already. How people like him, people that had been born with the "gift" of magic, had a "choice". How they could live their entire lives locked up in a tower with other mages for their "protection", watched by an order of warriors called the Templars that would strike a mage dead if they were ordered to do so. Or, the mage could be labeled an apostate - constantly on the run, hiding from Templars and everyone else who would be all too glad to turn them in out of fear…or for a few coins.

She apologized to him the next morning and told him she would try not to be such a pain in his arse, but in return, he had to try to understand how she was feeling. They didn't travel anywhere that day; instead, they sat in the camp and he listened to her tell him about the world she came from. He asked questions and was shocked to hear that magic didn't exist; at least, not in the way he thought of it. The science that was just accepted in her world sounded like magic to him. When she dug into her pack and pulled out her phone to show him some photos, his mouth dropped open and he began to turn it over and over, asking her how the pictures were so tiny and life like and how they were in such a small box. It was when she showed him a picture of her parents that she began to cry, to truly weep for what she might not get back. Anders felt helpless in the face of such sorrow, and simply held her close as her heart broke. From that point on, their association began to take on a much friendlier feel; she began to trust him a bit more and even began pulling her own weight to help out. It wasn't like she was totally without any woodcraft. She had grown up in a rural area and the woods behind her house had been a playground when she was young. Her brother had taught her how to spot game trails, and she knew how to recognize certain wild herbs that would help season their meals. Anders was particularly appreciative of that talent.

The truth of what he told her about how mages were hunted came about a week later in a small hamlet not far from Highever. They decided to stop for the night just outside of the village, trying to keep a low profile. Anders had managed to "acquire" some clothing for Bailey so she blended in better, so it was she that headed into the cluster of houses to see if she could make a few trades for some food and to see if there might be a boat heading across to the Free Marches. Her mannerisms must not have passed inspection, because she was followed back to their small camp. Luckily, it was only a worried mother, imploring their help for her sickly daughter. Her reasoning was that since they had been traveling, perhaps they might know what was afflicting her child. She had begged for them to come back to her home to see if there was anything that could be done. Anders reluctantly agreed and they went with the woman, but it was Bailey that actually helped the most; Anders didn't even have to use magic on the child. She took one look at the girl, asked a couple of questions, and pronounced that the child had something called "chicken pox". Both Anders and the woman looked aghast. The woman asked if her child had become sick from their chickens. Bailey chuckled a little and explained that it was only called that because the sores looked a bit like chicken pecks. She assured the woman that her daughter would not die, but only if the mother followed her directions on the child's care. She described a particular tree she had seen not too far from the woman's house; long, thin leaves with small white flowers in the spring time. She told the mother to gather a handful of the leaves, wash them well, and then put them into some boiling water until the water turned green, and wash the sores with that water at least twice a day. Bailey also prescribed baths of cool water with a handful of oats in it to help with the itching. She emphasized that the child should be kept away from others until the sores were completely gone and then for at least a week after that. They left the woman's home with a loaf of bread, a small wheel of cheese and a large packet of dried meat and a few root vegetables.

Anders expressed interest in her herbal knowledge and wanted to stay to keep an eye on the child to see if Bailey's suggestions would help. So, they were still there a week later, making daily visits to check on the child's progress. To his surprise, the sores were drying up and clearing from the child's body. That was when he began to look at Bailey as more than just a responsibility; it was possible she could be a real help to him. They left the woman's house with a promise to return the next day.

That next day was a tense one. They had arrived at the woman's house only 10 minutes before the door was pushed open and a large man in armor stalked in, followed by a shifty looking man in common clothes. He pointed towards Bailey and said, "That's one of 'em! Them's the mages I told you about! They been using some kind of magic on that girl there!"

The man in armor stared at Bailey and looked over at the loudmouth. "I see only one woman before me, and she has no magic within her."

Bailey thanked all the gods she could think of that Anders had gone with the woman to collect more of the leaves. She gave the man in armor a smile, careful not to let her panic show in her eyes. Now what was that word Anders had told her to use when addressing someone? _'Oh, yeah. Now I remember.' _ "Greetings, Serah. The lady of the house is not in right now. She's out collecting more of the leaves that I've been using to treat her daughter."

The knight looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. "Greetings. Leaves, you say?"

Bailey nodded and quickly explained the illness and how she was treating it. She told him that it was a familiar childhood illness in the Anderfels (the only place she could remember Anders specifically mention by name) and if treated properly, was not fatal. About that time, the woman returned to her home and assured the Templar that what Bailey had told him was true; that her daughter's health had improved since she had been doing as Bailey had told her and that no magic had been involved at all. The Templar had no choice at that time but to withdraw and leave, the man protesting the whole time that there was another person, a man involved. Another 10 minutes passed before Anders opened the door and entered the house. Bailey sagged against a nearby table in relief and raised a hand to her chest. "Oh, thank god, you're okay. That man was _scary_. I can see why mages are wary of them."

Anders grimaced and started to say something, but was shocked into silence as Bailey shot across the room and threw her arms around him. He stood there uncertainly for a moment before he slowly lifted his own arms to pat her back. He smiled into her hair as he held her. "You were worried about me? Why, Bailey, I'm flattered. I didn't think you cared so much."

Bailey spoke, her words muffled against his chest. "Shut up. Of course I was worried. You're the only person I know in this backwards place."

He laughed and his chest rumbled against her cheek. "I'm fine, dear lady. We heard him as we approached the house from the back, so I stayed in the woods until I was sure he was gone." He looked over at the woman and said, "I'm afraid we have to move on. We don't wish to cause you any more trouble."

The woman looked at them speculatively. "You saved my child, and possibly the lives of other children in this hamlet with your knowledge. Let me help you in return. I have a cousin in Highever that often deals in…nefarious work. You are seeking a way to the Free Marches; he can help you. Find Theron in one of the taverns near the docks and tell him Marilee sent you."

And so, a few weeks later, they found themselves landing at the docks of Kirkwall…and a whole new chapter of life began for both of them.


	3. Kirkwall

_3 months later…_

Bailey grimaced as she leaned over the railing to dump another bucket of dirty water onto the rocks below. Luckily, the tangy salty air suddenly gusted up and past her, pushing the smell away from her face. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling of the wind on her skin, drying the small patches of perspiration on her forehead. The breeze died down and she sighed. Opening her eyes again, she tried not to look too closely at the area around her as she bent and lifted the two buckets to take them back into the clinic nearby.

She went back through one of the doors and glanced over at Anders, bent over one of the tables he used for examining his patients. Dropping the buckets into a corner to wait for the next time they needed to be used, she was walking toward her herbal rack when a woman walked through the door, a little boy in tow. "Hello," she called out to the woman. "What can we do for you today?" Bailey wiped her hands on the bit of cloth tucked into her belt and changed directions to approach the woman.

The woman's eyes darted between Bailey and Anders for a moment before she finally answered. "It's my son, Serah. He's complaining of stomach cramps and feeling sick. I was hoping the healer could see him."

Bailey nodded as she listened to the woman. They had been seeing quite a few cases of stomach upset the past few days. After the first few, Bailey had taken them over, letting Anders save his skills for the more severe injuries and illnesses. "I understand. We've seen several others with the same problem. Come with me and I'll give you something that will help him."

She gestured the woman and her son towards the cabinet full of herbal mixtures, potions, and tinctures. Reaching into a small wooden box, she retrieved a packet of dried herbs she had mixed up just for such instances. "You will need to make this into a drink for your son. Boil some water and place about a palm full of this mixture into a cupful of the water and let it steep for at least 10 minutes. Have him drink it at least 3 times a day. The symptoms should be gone within two days. If you run out of the mixture, just come back here and I'll give you some more. If he is still not well after 2 days, _please_ come back to see us immediately."

The woman glanced over at Anders again as she took the packet from Bailey. Anders looked up and gave her a small nod before looking back down at the boy he was working on. Bailey was used to it by now. The people who were here for the first time tended to want confirmation from Anders before doing anything she told them. The woman gave her a smile and said, "Thank you, Serah. It's nice to know that some people do care about us."

Bailey gave her a warm smile in return. "You are most welcome. If I may…when did your son become sick?"

"Just last night; he woke up, retching and sweaty."

"I see. What did he eat before bed?"

The woman told her she had gotten some of the bread and meat from Lirene's place up in Lowtown. Bailey sighed inwardly. It appeared that someone was sabotaging the donations again. She would need to speak to Lirene and let her know. For now, she told the woman to be watchful for any black or green spots on the bread and to smell and examine her meat carefully. If it smelled suspicious in any way, she should toss it and come here to the clinic for something to eat. The woman gave her another smile and left.

Bailey watched her go and turned back to the cabinet. Might as well check the supplies while it was open. _'Health potions are low; we need more elfroot. Lyrium looks okay, thank goodness. I do hate dealing with those smugglers. And if the donations are spiked, we will need to get more mint and chamomile. Looks like it's time for a trip to the base of Sundermount,'_ she thought as she pushed bottles and packets around. She was so intent on what she was doing she didn't hear Anders walk up behind her, causing her to jump and yelp as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

Anders laughed as she turned and smacked her open palm against his upper arm. "Dammit, Anders! Don't do that to me! You know I hate being snuck up on!"

He gave her a grin and flinched dramatically from her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. But good to know I haven't forgotten all of my stealth lessons."

She pursed her lips and glared at him for a moment before her face finally broke into a smile. "Apology accepted. But you're still a jerk."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. He'd known her for months now and he still didn't understand her sometimes. Shaking his head at yet another of her strange words, he said , "What were you so engrossed in that you didn't hear me?"

"Oh, I was just checking our supplies. We need to make a trip over to the meadows, and soon, especially if we are going to keep getting people with the stomach sickness."

He nodded as he poked a finger into the wooden box that held the packets of the herbal mixture Bailey had made for the stomach illness, taking a mental note of how many were left. "I heard what that woman said about her food and what you told her. Thinking the donation box was tampered with again?"

Bailey pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. "I think so. It sounds like it. All of the people that have come in have gotten their food from there, which just sounds suspicious to me." She lowered her hand and looked up at him.

Anders sighed. "Tell you what. It's late enough we can close up for the night. Let's go up to see Lirene and let her know. Then, dinner at the Hanged Man. It's on me."

"Mmm. Mystery meat stew. Sounds like a blast. Better save a couple of these packets for us."

Anders laughed at that and Bailey gave him a grin. Since coming to Kirkwall, she didn't see nearly enough of his smiles or hear his laughter anymore. She closed up the cabinet and quickly helped him to straighten up the rest of the clinic before they left, making sure to bolt the doors behind them, and made their way up to Lowtown. Luckily, they caught Lirene before she closed her doors for the night. Not surprisingly, she was very upset to hear to that the refugees that had been getting food from her were becoming sick. She assured them that she would take care of it and thanked them for letting her know.

They left her and walked through the bazaar, watching the merchants putting away their wares for the night. They reached the door of the Hanged Man, already talking about the trip to the meadows at the base of Sundermount. Bailey glanced up at the giant wooden man hanging over the front door and shuddered lightly. Even after several months of coming to the place, she just couldn't get used to that sight. Anders opened the door for her and she ducked inside, her nose wrinkling a little at the scent of spilled ale, vomit, and smoke. They headed towards one of the tables in the back and sat down as one of the barmaids approached them. "Evening, you two. What can I get you?"

Bailey smiled up at her. "Hello, Norah."

Anders greeted her as well and said, "Two ales and two bowls of the stew."

Norah said, "We got some fresh bread tonight, too. Want a couple of slices wi' the stew?"

Bailey and Anders looked at each other and Bailey asked, "Is it extra?"

Norah gave them a smile and said, "I'll toss it in for free for our favorite healer and his assistant."

Anders relaxed his shoulders and quietly said, "Thank you, Norah."

She left the table and was back in about five minutes with their food and drinks. She collected a couple of coins from Anders and left them to their dinner. As they picked up their spoons, Anders quietly said, "I don't think she took enough payment."

Bailey looked over at Norah. The poor girl was trying to be subtle about looking over her shoulder at Anders. Bailey smothered a giggle and said, "I wouldn't worry about it too much." She spooned the stew into her mouth and closed her eyes as she chewed on that first bite. It was nice to eat a meal that someone else had cooked, for a change. It was a definite far cry from how she had feasted in her old world, but she was forever thankful that she had had a father that insisted on having a garden every year and a mother that had taught her to cook with fresh ingredients. And of course, the herbal lore she had learned at her granny's knee. All of it was certainly coming in handy now.

She opened her eyes and looked around at the main room of the tavern before letting them come to rest on Anders for a moment as he ate his dinner. He glanced at her and his spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. "What?" he asked her, his eyebrows drawing together.

She shook her head and said, "It's nothing. Go ahead and eat."

Anders lowered his spoon and hesitated only briefly before he reached over and covered one of her hands with his own. "Bailey, you look like you have something on your mind. I would hope that by now, you would be able to talk to me."

She placed her own spoon back into her bowl and stared at his hand covering hers. He started to pull it back, but she quickly curled her fingers and held on to it. Bailey finally turned her eyes up to meet his and shrugged one shoulder. "I was just thinking about my parents…and my grandmother. About how grateful I am that they taught me things that have stuck with me."

He gazed back at her, wishing he could think of something to say that would take away the glimmer of sadness in her eyes. Having been taken from his own family so many years ago, it was hard for him to remember that initial pain of separation. He shifted his chair a bit so he could face her better and brought his other hand around to gently hold her hand in both of his. Quietly he said, "I'm sorry that things didn't turn out as we had planned. I had no idea that the situation here had gotten as bad as it is."

Bailey lowered her eyes and silently nodded. The plan had been for her to go to the Mage's Circle and try to talk to the man that Anders called the First Enchanter. He was apparently the head mage in the Circle. But just getting into the city of Kirkwall had turned out to be a challenge, never mind trying to meet with the mages. The gates into the city were being guarded by Templars and neither she nor Anders had wanted to get too close to those men. Anders managed to get in contact with some other apostates that were working within the city and this underground community managed to sneak them in through the mineshafts that laced the ground beneath Kirkwall. When Anders heard about the way that the Ferelden refugees were being treated, he set up the free clinic in one of the poorest places in Kirkwall; Darktown. It was full of thugs, criminals, and the lowest of the low, but they were also the people that needed the most help and compassion. He had asked Bailey if she would be willing to help him by contributing her knowledge of herbal medicines, just until he could manage to get her into the Circle. She had looked around at the state of poverty these people lived in and agreed. Her own situation could have been so much worse, after all. And her grandmother would have been disappointed in her for not sharing skills and knowledge when they were so obviously needed. That had been three months ago, and she was no closer to seeing a circle mage now than she had been then.

Anders gazed at her as she sat there silently, wondering what she was thinking about. He had to admit that he had come to rely on her skills in the clinic a bit more than he thought he would. And it was nice to have someone to talk to in the evenings. She had shared stories from her world, sang some of the songs from there, and taught him a card game called Hearts. Somewhere during the past few months, their tentative association had become a full on friendship. He could recall clearly the moment he had realized that he had come to care for her; they had been sharing a bottle of some sweet wine that one of their patients had given them in thanks. She had been singing one of her songs, something about stopping time and being without someone. Her face had been lit by the warm glow of the fire, and he had caught the sparkle of tears in her eyes as she sang. He had thought that finally, here was someone that felt things as passionately as he himself did, if the words of a simple song could bring tears to her eyes. It was a few moments before he finally noticed that she had stopped singing and was gazing back at him. The look on her face had been…soft. He winced inwardly a little as he recalled that was also the night he had had to turn down her advances. She had seemed upset at first, but after listening to his reasons, even she admitted that it would probably be difficult to nurture a romance under those circumstances. He had turned her down…and had been regretting having to do so ever since. He was, after all, a man. And she was a very pretty woman with a brain and a sense of humor that appealed to him in ways that he didn't really want to admit to himself.

His attention was brought back to the present moment as Bailey placed her other hand on his and squeezed lightly. "It's…okay, Anders. Things could be so much worse for me. At least I have you. I know that you would do so much more if you could. I don't blame you for the state of the world. It's just the way it is…and I'm going to make lemonade from these lemons I've been handed. Or maybe a pie. Pie is always good."

Bailey chuckled a little at his quizzical stare and made a mental note to explain the saying sometime soon. She began to pull her hand from his and couldn't help noticing that he held on to it for a moment before almost reluctantly letting it go. Her heart began to beat just a bit faster in response and she had to mentally chide herself. She gave him a smile and picked up her spoon to finish her stew before it turned into a cold lump of congealed gravy. "So. When do you want to go pick flowers with me," she said, turning the subject to something less painful. She moved her spoon quickly to her mouth, hoping he wouldn't see the slight tremble. It wouldn't do for him to see just how much of an affect his touch had on her.

"How about tomorrow? Maybe we could set out some snares to catch some rabbits or something to donate to Lirene. We could also head a little higher up the mountainside to try to find some elfroot, too," he said, picking up his own spoon. He ignored the fact that his skin still tingled slightly from where she had touched the back of his hand and concentrated on the mundane subject of gathering herbs.

"Good idea," she agreed. So they ate their dinner and made their plans to be gone from the city for a few days. And if Bailey didn't feel like talking or singing or playing cards when they were back in the clinic, Anders understood. He sat at his desk, writing in his journal while she sat at the table in the kitchen, a piece of charcoal making quick strokes on the page of parchment in front of her. It was late into the night when he finally raised his head, ran a hand over his eyes and saw her slouched over the boards of the table, her head pillowed on her arms. He rose from his chair to go wake her enough to get her to bed. And if he pretended to not see the sketches of a man with kind eyes, a woman with spectacles, and even one of himself, then Bailey was never the wiser.

* * *

_Author Note: The song Bailey was singing in Anders' little flashback moment was 'Without You' by My Darkest Days._


	4. Hawke

Three days later, after returning from their herb gathering trip, they were greeted at the door of the clinic by a frantic mother and father, a young boy laying limply in the man's arms. Bailey opened the door while Anders ascertained what the problem was; this looked too serious for any of her herbal remedies. She dropped their packs by the cabinet and started lighting some lanterns. From what she heard, the boy had fallen down one of the open holes that riddled Darktown and hadn't woken up since. He breathed, but it was shallow.

Anders had them lay the child down on a table as he leaned his staff against a pillar nearby. He glanced over at Bailey and jerked his head for her to come over. She was good at keeping parents calm. He closed his eyes and brought forth his healing magic, then began sweeping his hands over the boy. He could see the bruises on the inside of the boy's body, the small fractures on the ribs, and the twist of the bones in the neck. It took little effort to heal the bruises and fractures; it was the neck that had Anders worried the most. He knew that had to be healed just right or there was a distinct possibility that the boy wouldn't be able to walk. He concentrated on that area and began making small, almost indistinguishable movements with his hands and fingers. He could sense other people walking into the clinic, but their presence was like that of a shadow; there, but negligible. Another small twist of his fingers and he knew it was done. He opened his eyes at the same time as the boy, and a wave of weariness hit him. He staggered a small bit, and Bailey jumped away from the parents to catch him. He gave her a small wave and leaned on the pillar for a moment, his back to the rest of the room.

Bailey turned back to the parents and quietly assured them that the boy would be alright, but if he had any lingering problems to come back. She was watching them walk toward the door, their arms around their son when Anders' voice rang out. "I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation! Why do you threaten it?"

She spun around and saw him with his staff in his right hand, his left held out in front of him, prepared to fight, should it come to it. The group of people he was addressing had walked in while he was working on the boy and had stood quietly watching him; they hadn't made any threatening moves toward him nor any of the other people that were now milling about the place. But if Anders was acting this way….the _other_ one must have sensed something. With that thought, Bailey moved closer to Anders, her hand on her belt knife, ready to jump in if she needed to, though she didn't really relish the idea.

The dark haired woman at the front of the group held up her hands and said, "I'm just here to talk."

The dwarf that was also in the group spoke up then. "We're interested in getting into the Deep Roads. Rumor has it you were a Warden. Do you know a way?"

Anders lowered his staff and relaxed his stance; he could see Bailey do the same. "Did the Wardens send you to bring me back? Well, I'm not going! Those bastards made me get rid of my cat. Poor Ser Pounce-a-lot. He hated the Deep Roads. He almost got ripped in half by a genlock once. Swatted the bugger on the nose. Drew blood, too."

Bailey bit the inside of her cheek to keep from giggling. Anders did miss his cat something terrible. He had been very pleased to find out that she was also a "cat-person". The woman who was apparently in charge of this group cocked her head sideways and raised her eyebrow at Anders, then shook her head slightly before continuing. "We're part of an expedition into the Deep Roads. Any information you have could save people's lives."

Anders walked over to pick up his pack to begin unloading it from their trip. "I will die a happy man if I never have to think about the blighted Deep Roads again. You can't imagine what I've come through to be here! I'm not interested…"

A sudden thought struck him and he stopped tossing bundles of herbs onto the table and looked over at the woman. He gave her a speculative look. She had two short swords strapped to her back and the armor she wore looked well used, but also well maintained. The dwarf had a crossbow on his back, and the dark haired young man had a very large sword. He bore a strong resemblance to the woman. They looked like a group of people that knew how to get things done. "Although…a favor for a favor. Does that sound like a fair deal? You help me, I'll help you?"

Bailey looked over at him and wondered what he was going on about. She had been observing this woman and her two companions. There was something she couldn't put her finger on, but it was causing her to have an immediate distrust of this woman. Plus, the younger man seemed a bit too antsy; he held himself as if he expected to be attacked at any moment. And the dwarf was just far too relaxed. It was unsettling.

The woman agreed to whatever it was that Anders wanted, without even asking what the favor was. That smacked of desperation. Anyone willing to do whatever with no questions was also someone that could turn on you very easily. Anders raised an eyebrow and said, "You don't ask for my terms? What if I wanted the knight-commanders head on a spike?"

"Is that what you want?"

Anders didn't know what to say to that, and just shook his head. "I have a Warden map of the depths in this area. But there is a price. I came to Kirkwall to aid a friend; a mage. He's a prisoner in that wretched Gallows. The Templars found out that I planned to free him. Help me get him past the Templars and I'll give you the maps."

The woman looked at her companions. The dwarf gave her a nod and the man rolled his eyes at her, but also nodded. She turned back to look at Anders and said, "Fine, we will help you."

Anders nodded and said, "I've been passing notes to Karl through a maidservant. About a week ago, the letters stopped coming."

The woman said, "So, you want to make your friend an apostate?"

Anders sighed and rubbed his forehead. "That is such a weighted term. It goes against no will of the Maker to allow mages to live free as any other man. Andraste said that magic should serve man, not rule him, but I have yet to find a mage that wants to rule anything!"

The woman nodded and replied that forcing mages into servitude was _not_ the way to prevent the rise of another Imperium. Anders looked shocked by her reply and quietly said, "That…is not the response I usually get." He gazed at her another moment and gave her a small smile. "Yes, I think we will work together better than expected. I've sent a note to Karl to meet me in the Chantry tonight. Join us there and we can be sure that no matter who is with him, we all walk away free."

The woman pushed her hand out towards him and said, "Deal. I help you free your friend, we get your maps. I'm Hollie, by the way. Hollie Hawke. The dwarf here is Varric, and this is my brother, Carver."

Anders took her hand in agreement. "You can call me Anders. The lady over there looking so fierce is Bailey. I will see you tonight at the Chantry. If you will excuse me, Bailey and I have patients to attend to."

Bailey watched the woman – _Hollie_ – give him a nod and take too long to let go of his hand. Carver gave them both a measuring look before turning to follow his sister out of the clinic. She walked over to stand next to Anders and said softly, "I don't trust her. Or her brother. The dwarf is iffy, too."

Anders looked down at her and put an arm over her shoulder. "They are also my best hope of getting Karl out of that…how did you describe it? 'Festering hell-hole of sorrow', I believe you called it."

Bailey sniffed and shoved at him a little. "I thought I was going to help you."

Anders gazed down at her and gave her an emphatic, "No."

"But, Anders…"

"I said no, Bailey. I will not have you nearby, not when there is a threat of Templars. You've…seen what happens to me."

She turned her whole body to face him. "So you will take that kind of chance with complete strangers instead?"

She flinched a little as his eyes flashed blue and his voice took on a deep, gravely sound for the short moment it took him to say, "NO!"

The blue glow blinked away and his eyes widened at the momentary look of fear in her eyes. _'Damn it! Don't frighten her like that,' _he snarled internally. Needing a moment to compose himself, he stepped away from her and turned his back. "Please, Bailey. I…I don't want to be worried about you as well as Karl. Promise me that you will stay here tonight. And if not here, then at the Hanged Man or with Lirene. I do not want you at the Chantry tonight."

He looked over his shoulder at her, his eyebrows drawn down and his eyes looking incredibly sad and worried. Bailey sighed and threw up her hands. "Fine. But I'm not doing it because you just gave me the sad-eyed puppy look, got it?"

He gave her a small smile and turned back towards her. Leaning down, he gave her a quick peck on the forehead and said, "Got it. Now, let's see about getting these herbs processed, yes?"

They spent the rest of the afternoon catching up with patients and processing herbs to replenish their stock. Bailey took a few minutes to step over to the fire in the corner that she thought of as their "kitchen" to start up a pot of vegetable broth. They had caught a rabbit on the way back to the city, so she quickly skinned and cleaned it, and then affixed it to a spit over the fire to roast. She set the skin aside to stretch and clean it, thinking it might make a warm pair of mittens for herself come winter time. She moved back to her herbal table and continued making bundles and tying them onto her drying rack that Anders had helped her build from some of the wood that had been lying about when they took over this empty building.

She gazed around and had to smile. Once the Ferelden refugees had seen that Anders wasn't expecting coin in return for his services, the people had given what they could. Several of them had pitched in to help clean up the place. It really had been a mess. One of the men had been a cabinet maker in Lothering and he took several pieces of wood and made them the cabinet that now held their potions. Another man offered to make them a bed so they could rest comfortably at night. Bailey had to laugh inwardly at that memory. The man had thought they were man and wife and was describing a very large bed for them. Anders had had to interrupt him and gently set him straight. They were given two very comfortable single but wide beds instead. They were set up in the back corner opposite of the kitchen, surrounded by and separated from each other by a wall of curtains for a bit of privacy. The kitchen was the fire pit, and a couple of tables, one of which held a few cooking pots and utensils. It was nothing like the home she had before, but she was proud of herself for finding out that she really didn't need a whole lot to be happy. She had a warm and dry place to live and a friend for company. Thinking of him, she looked up to see what Anders was doing and was surprised to see he was shutting the door behind the last patient of the day.

Anders leaned his back against the door and closed his eyes briefly. He could feel a small pain in his temple and he sent a small wisp of healing toward it. He inhaled and the smell of roasting rabbit and vegetable soup hit his nose. Opening his eyes and looking over at Bailey, he smiled. "Maker, but that dinner smells wonderful. I wish I could thank whoever it was that taught you to cook like that."

He watched her grin and tie the last bundle of herbs to her rack as he walked towards her. He really was thankful that she had turned out to be such an asset to the clinic…and a good friend, as well. He plopped himself down on her table and asked hopefully, "Think it's ready to eat yet?"

Bailey laughed and gave him a playful shove. "Get your arse off of my table. It's been on for about an hour, so it probably is. You get the bread, I'll get our bowls."

He pushed himself off the table and moved to grab the pack that had held their food for their trip. He pulled out what was left of a round of bread and a small bit of cheese, and then tossed the empty pack onto the table near the fire. Bailey was pulling the rabbit off of the spit and onto a platter, and two bowls of soup were sitting on the table. Breaking the bread in half, he placed a piece next to each bowl and set the cheese between them. He took a seat just as Bailey set the platter full of rabbit onto the table. "Oh, that does smell good. Or I am just really hungry tonight."

"You spent a lot of energy today. And from the sounds of it, might be spending a bit more tonight. Eat."

They didn't speak much as they ate; both of them were thinking of what was to happen that night. Bailey had her own thoughts on the situation and she had been very effectively shut down on voicing them…but that didn't stop her from worrying. She looked over at Anders as he ate and had a sudden sense of dread. He looked up at her and gave her a smile before he lifted his bowl to drink the liquid from his second helping of soup. "Oh, that was lovely. Bailey, you will make some man very fat and happy when you marry him."

Bailey just snorted in reply and took his bowl to stack it with her own. She went about cleaning up their dinner while Anders walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a few health and lyrium potions to drop into the pouch on his belt. He then picked up his staff, slung it onto his back and walked over to her. "I'd better go. I don't want to keep Karl waiting too long."

Bailey stiffened her back and said, "Okay."

Anders hesitated a moment, then turned and started walking towards the door. He stopped as he heard her quietly say, "Anders."

He turned back and saw her standing near the table, her face illuminated by the glow from the fire, her eyes showing the depth of her concern. "Be careful. Please."

He gave her a small smile and bowed a little, "Yes, dear lady. Keep a lantern burning for me, will you?"

He turned and walked through the door, bolting it behind him. Bailey stared after him and quietly whispered, "You'd better come back to put it out."


	5. Justice

Bailey jumped as the door to the clinic was thrown open and Anders stalked in, clearly agitated. He was followed closely by Hawke, Carver, an elf with white hair, and Varric, who was nice enough to stop and shut the door behind him. She turned on the stool she was sitting on, having decided to spend the evening transcribing several of her herbal remedies into a journal. Anders had walked to the back of the room and was currently running his hands over his head, finally locking his fingers behind his neck as he tilted his head up to the ceiling. Hawke stood behind him, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared at his back. "So, is this the part where you tell me you're an abomination," she shot out at him.

Bailey jumped from her stool, shouting, "How dare you! Anders is no such thing! You don't know…"

Anders turned around and simply said, "Bailey, please."

Bailey turned her head to glare at him, but he looked so lost and unhappy that she shut her mouth with a click of her teeth. She did, however, narrow her eyes in anger at Hawke.

Hawke merely raised an eyebrow at her and turned back to Anders. "Well? That was no ordinary magic you just did."

Anders looked a bit chagrined and said, "I have some…unique circumstances, yes. When I was in Amaranthine, I met a spirit of Justice who was trapped outside of the Fade. We became… friends. And eventually, he recognized the injustice that mages in Thedas face every day of our lives."

Hawke flung her hands out and shifted her weight to cock out her hip. "And he's different from a demon?"

Anders lowered his eyebrows and his voice took on the tone of a teacher; his whole demeanor began to exude patience and calmness. "Just as demons prey on the deadly sins of mankind, there are good spirits that embody our virtues. Spirits of Compassion, Fortitude…Justice. They are the Maker's first children and they have all but given up on us."

Varric spoke up at this point. "So, what does that have to do with your eyes glowing blue?"

At those words, Bailey's worst suspicions about this conversation were confirmed. She closed her eyes for a brief moment then opened them to observe how these people would react to what Anders was about to tell them. She remembered clearly that night in Lowtown when they had seen the young elf being dragged off between two Templars. He had gotten angry and that other being had taken over his body, making him glow blue, just like the first time she had seen him. It had shaken her, but when Anders came back to himself, he calmly explained to her what she had seen. He had also told her that if she wanted to find refuge elsewhere, he wouldn't try to stop her. She had given him a hard stare, smacked his upper arm and told him to stop being an idiot. He obviously needed someone to watch his back. He had sighed in relief and muttered something about not having to eat his own cooking.

Anders made a small movement with his shoulders. "To live outside the Fade, he needed a host. The body he was in at the time was no longer viable. I offered to help him. We were going to work together; bring justice to every child that had ever been ripped away from their family to be sent to the Circle. But, I guess I had too much anger. Once he was inside me, he…changed."

"So…you have this spirit of Justice living in your head?" asked Hawke.

"It's not like that," Anders said as he began to pace back and forth between the fire pit and the curtains of the sleeping area. "He's gone now. He's part of me. It's not like we can have a conversation. I feel his thoughts as my own. Not even the greatest scholar could tell you where I end and he begins," he ended, throwing his arms open for a moment before dropping them to his sides.

"You know, that didn't really look like a happy, benevolent spirit from where I was standing," Hawke said, her voice ringing sarcastically.

Anders narrowed his eyes and his voice dropped in timbre. "Since _when_ is justice happy? Justice is _righteous_. Justice is _hard._"

The white haired elf spoke up, his lips in a sneer and eyes narrowed in contempt. "Oh, of course. No harm _ever_ comes from good intentions, even when magic is involved."

Anders turned his head to look at the man. His eyes darkened just a bit with sadness as he said, "Normally, I would argue that. I wanted to do well by Justice; I really did. But my anger…"

He lifted one hand and scrubbed it across his eyes before continuing. Bailey had taken his explanation of Justice so much better than these people. "When I see Templars now; things that have always outraged me, but I could never do anything about…He comes out. And he is no longer my friend Justice." He looked up at them and pinned them all with a sharp look. "He is a spirit of Vengeance and he has no grasp of mercy."

Carver spat out, "Oh, great. He'll bring the bloody Templars down on us for sure."

Hawke appeared to think about that for a moment. "Can he ever be separated from you?"

Anders let a bitter laugh fall from his lips. "You think I haven't tried? As far as I know, the only way a spirit has been separated from its living host is by the host's death. No," he continued, the bitterness now lacing his words. "The curse is of my own making. All I can do now is hope to control it."

"Can you control it? I mean, can you bring him out at will?"

"No. He comes _only_ when I've lost all power over myself. Its…it's a madness; a frenzy. I only find out after what I might have done." His eyes clouded over for a moment as a memory passed through his mind. He shook it off and said, "Believe me, it's not a good feeling to not remember how you got that blood on your hands."

Hawke gazed at him for a moment. Her next words shocked Bailey down to the soles of her boots with their audacity. "So…that explains your whole…_sexy_, tortured look."

Anders started and felt his eyebrows try to crawl halfway to his hairline. _'What?'_ he thought for a split second. Then he felt his own lips start to curl into his old lopsided smile. "Mmm. Perhaps I should check a looking glass more often. I…had not thought to ever find a woman who would look past what I just said."

Bailey turned hurt eyes on him upon hearing those words and stared at him. He must have felt the weight of her gaze, because he finally turned to glance at her. Her lips tightened for a moment, then she pointedly walked past him and went through the curtains to her room.

Anders winced inwardly. He knew he was going to be paying for that comment for a while. Knowing there was not anything he could do about it for the moment, he turned back to Hawke and quietly said, "You fulfilled your part of the bargain, despite how it ended. My maps are yours." He darted his eyes quickly toward the curtains that hid his friend then let them settle on Hawke. "As am I, if you wish me to join your expedition. I thought I was done with the Grey Wardens and the blighted Deep Roads, but if you have need of me, I will be here."

Hawke nodded and said, "I'm sorry about your friend."

Anders acknowledged the words with a simple incline of his head and said, "Thank you. I was simply too late. I will not let that happen again."

Hawke gazed at him for a moment then turned to leave. Anders watched them go then went to bolt the door behind them. As he walked back to his own sleeping area, he thought of Karl and how his life had ended. "Not another mage," he swore softly. He put the pain of having to take his friend's life into a compartment within his heart and decided that it might be wise to check on the friend that was alive and apparently angry with him. He scratched on the curtains that blocked her from his view and had to jump back as they were flung open. He looked down into a pair of displeased blue-gray eyes.

Bailey gave him a glare and a very curt, "What?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," he said, shifting from foot to foot.

"Oh, _now_ you worry about me. Thank you. I mean, it's not like I'm a woman that actually happens to like you for who you are or anything like that."

"Bailey…"

"Well, you said it."

Anders sighed deeply with exasperation and dropped his head down into the palm of his hand for a moment before he raised it back up to look at her. He stepped closer to place his hands on her shoulders and dipped his head so he could look into her eyes. "You know I didn't mean it like that. What you and I have between us; it's…different. You know that I have come to care very deeply for you and that I trust you with secrets I wouldn't share with anyone else. Dear Maker, had I met you only a year ago…" He gave her a smile that would have melted her socks off, had she been wearing any, but it quickly faded down to a gentle look. "You know why I don't want to get involved with anyone . It wouldn't be fair." He leaned his head down and rested his forehead against hers.

Bailey drew in a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it out in rush. She closed her eyes and quietly said, "I know. But your words still hurt me."

He lifted his head and regarded her gravely. "I know. I realized the moment they left my lips. I am truly sorry. Please know that when I said them, I was not referring to you in any kind of derogatory way. You weren't raised here; you don't have the prejudices against mages that everyone here is taught from birth. Hollie…surprised me with her comment. That was _not_ the reaction I was expecting upon telling her about Justice. That elf's reaction on the other hand…that's more what I was expecting."

Bailey gave him a half smile and said, "I didn't like him."

"I don't either. From what I could tell tonight, the feeling was mutual."

Bailey chuckled a little. Anders smiled down at her and said, "So. Are we okay again?"

She looked up at him and chewed on her bottom lip, pretending to think about it. "I suppose," she said after a moment.

"Just suppose? Oh, wait. This is going to take something pretty to fix, isn't it? Is this where I'm supposed to bring you a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates?"

"Mmm, chocolates."

Anders couldn't help himself; he let out a loud guffaw of delight. What he said about meeting her a year earlier was true. She was a front line contender for the "pretty girl" he had told the Warden Commander he had wanted to find. Oh, who was he kidding? She could cook like no one else he had ever met; even the decent meals were covered with her. But so much had happened since then. He was a different man now. He couldn't give anyone a normal life and he cared too much for her to put her through that. So instead, he enjoyed her company and her friendship (and her cooking) and simply refused to think about anything other than that.

Bailey grinned up at him, enjoying his laughter and the way his face relaxed for a moment. It was like she was seeing how he might have been before the merge with Justice. She didn't want to fully admit to the depth of her feelings for him, knowing that she couldn't and wouldn't put that sort of pressure on him. So instead, she enjoyed his company and friendship (and bad jokes) and pushed all thoughts of what it might be like to kiss him (among other things) to the very back of her mind.

"Anders? You haven't mentioned Karl since you got back."

The smile fell from his face and was replaced by a look that combined grief, despair, and failure. "I was too late, Bailey. The Templars…they had made him Tranquil."

Bailey gasped softly and pulled Anders into her room and sat them both down onto the edge of her bed. He had explained what happened to a mage when they were made Tranquil. It sounded like an ugly and brutal ritual, and she knew it was one of Anders' biggest fears. She wrapped her arms around him and said, "Tell me what happened."

He let himself take the comfort she offered and tried to control the sudden tremor in his body. "It's as I feared; he was made Tranquil for being too outspoken against the Circle here. There was nothing left of the man I knew in Ferelden. This man knew only how to follow the rules. There…there were Templars waiting for us…for me. That was when Justice came out."

Bailey felt his arms curl around her waist as his head lowered to her shoulder. She ran a hand over his back and up under his short jacket, slow strokes up and down his back meant to comfort him. She felt him take a deep breath and he continued. "There was a fight. When it was over, Karl…I don't know, he seemed to be himself for a moment. He said that piece of the Fade that Justice brought cleared his head for a moment and he felt himself again. That was when…oh, Maker. He asked me to kill him."

His voice broke on his last sentence and he couldn't stop the tears that suddenly sprang to his eyes. They fell over his cheeks, a warm torrent of fluid falling onto Bailey's shoulder. His shoulders shook with the storm of his emotions and he held onto her like an anchor. Eventually they subsided enough for him to continue. "He was my friend, and I took his life. But I couldn't bear to see him like that. I know it was what he wanted, but at the same time, I feel both guilty and relieved. I can't seem to sort out my feelings about this at all."

He raised his head and saw the large wet spot his tears had left on her shoulder. He lifted one hand, called up a small heat spell and ran his palm over the cloth to dry it. While he did that, Bailey lifted a hand to sweep his hair from his forehead and tuck it behind his ear.

She gazed at him and quietly said, "If you know it's what he wanted, then you shouldn't feel guilty for granting him that peace. Be thankful for those last few minutes you got to have with him. Take these feelings and let them fuel your passion, Anders. Don't let it happen to another mage."

He lifted his eyes and stared at her. _'Oh, Sweet Andraste.'_ He had to put some distance between himself and this woman before the temptation to take her in his arms and kiss her breathless overcame him. Instead, he quirked his lips in a semblance of a smile at her and said, "You somehow know just what to say. Thank you. I sometimes think that you are what keeps me sane."

"Oh no. If I'm the one keeping you sane, then we're both in trouble."

With another small laugh, he stood up from her bed and began to shrug out of his short feathered jacket. "Good night, Bailey. Thank you for…being you."

As she smiled up at him, he reached down to gently cup her jaw in his hand, bent and placed a single soft kiss on her forehead. It would be all that he would allow himself to do with her. Anything else would be too dangerous for both of them. His lips lingered for just a moment before he turned and pushed through the curtains of her room, shutting off her view of him so she couldn't see just how much he was shaken.


	6. Dragon Tale

Bailey seethed with barely controlled frustration as she tended to the many people that were visiting the clinic that day. She wasn't angry with the patients; she was angry at Anders. Okay, truth be told, she was angry with that Hawke woman. They had met her only a couple of weeks ago and she had already turned their lives into a mess. _'Blasted woman. Thinks she can just come down here anytime and yank Anders away for some ridiculous reason. Wonder what it was this time?'_

She turned her attention back to the task at hand, which was bandaging up a carpenter who had nearly sawed off his finger. She tied the linen bandage and handed him a small packet of willow bark. "Mix a little of this into some water and drink it to help with the pain. Change the bandage at least once a day, and from now on, stop sawing when someone is talking to you," she said, giving him a smile and a wink to let him know the last was said with good humor.

"Yes, Mistress Bailey. Looks like I'll be late delivering that new chair for you. Sorry 'bout that," the man before her said with a sheepish smile.

"It's alright, Thom. Anders can deal with the old one for a bit longer. It's not as if he spends much time actually sitting anymore, anyway," she replied with a dry tone. "Just make sure you change that bandage and if the skin around the cut starts to look puffy, come back here as quick as you can."

"I will, Serah. Thank you, and pass my greetings on to Master Anders."

The rest of the day passed in a blur of patients and problems. She was cleaning up behind the last one when Anders stumbled through the door and made it as far as the first exam table. He crawled up onto it, lay down on his back and groaned loudly. "Andraste's ass, but that woman will kill me."

Bailey made a noise that sounded vaguely like "Hmmph" and kept on with her current task. He groaned again and said, "Bailey, somewhere at the bottom of my legs are two very sore lumps. Would you mind terribly just cutting them off and putting me out of my misery?"

She finished shoving some dirty linens into a sack and finally turned to look at him, one hand on her hip. "It's your own fault. You could have told her to shove off when she showed up at Oh-Maker-it's-too-early this morning. Where did she drag you off to this time? Was it another secret meeting at the docks or more guard duty stuff for her friend?"

Anders pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked over at her, a half smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Make you a deal. You at least pull my boots off for me and I'll tell you about the dragon."

Bailey felt her mouth drop open as she gazed at him. His expression didn't change from the little smile and twinkle in his eye as he gave her a single nod. "Seriously? A dragon? A _real_ dragon?" she asked him, a note of excitement creeping into her voice despite her annoyance at his absence all day.

He lifted one leg and waggled his foot at her. "Boots, and I'll tell you."

She gave him a scowl in reply, but stalked over to him. "I swear, I honestly do not know how I put up with you sometimes. But you can't say the word 'dragon' to me and expect me to not be bloody curious," she said, working on the straps of his boots. "And why do you have so many buckles on these boots, anyway? Good lord, man, get some that simply pull on, why don't you?"

Anders chuckled and said, "You put up with me because I'm your best friend and you adore me. And there is nothing wrong with my boots. I've had them for years. Got them in Denerim the last time I escaped the Circle tower before the Blight hit. That trip was worth the year in solitary when I was caught." He moaned in relief as Bailey pulled the boot off his right foot and yelped as she slapped the bottom of it to get the blood flowing.

"Come on…tell me about the dragon. You can tell me about more of your escape attempts later," she said, going to work on the other boot. She scrunched her eyebrows together as she noticed a small hole in the bottom of his sock when she pulled the boot off. _'Better darn that before it gets bigger,'_ she thought to herself. She slapped the bottom of that foot and then crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. "Now, talk."

He wiggled his toes and groaned in sheer pleasure. "Thank you, Bailey." He sat up on the table and waved a hand at her. "You might want to sit yourself. This may take a bit."

She walked over to another table and pulled herself up on it. She really should be working on dinner, but the story of a dragon was too intriguing. She crossed her legs under herself and watched him as he began pulling off his short feathered jacket and unbuckling the straps on his long leather plate gambeson.

Anders had his head tilted down while he shrugged out of his outer clothes. "Well, as you well know, Hollie came and got me early, because it was a long trip we had to make. We were going up pretty high on Sundermount to visit with a clan of Dalish elves that were camped up there. Apparently, Hollie had to deliver some kind of amulet to them, an errand she had promised to someone before she and her family left Ferelden. Weeellll, turns out it wasn't just a simple delivery."

He looked up and found her with chin propped on her hands, elbows resting on her knees as she listened to him. He grinned and pushed his clothes to the side and crossed his own legs under himself, almost mirroring her position. "This amulet had to be taken up to an altar on the summit and we had to do a little ritual with it. And when we did…"

Bailey stared at him, waiting for him to continue. When he just grinned at her, she snapped out, "Well? What happened?"

He laughed softly and said, "A mist rose up from the amulet and formed into a woman. Hollie looked shocked at seeing her. They had a short conversation and from what I was able to piece together, this woman was Flemeth and she was the one that had apparently saved Hollie's family and Aveline when they were fleeing Lothering in the southern parts of Ferelden at the beginning of the Blight."

"So, who is Flemeth? And what does this have to do with a dragon?"

"I'm getting there. As for Flemeth…there is an old legend in Ferelden about a witch in the Kokari Wilds named Flemeth. If this was the same woman, then the years have been very kind, since she is supposed to be centuries old. But she is also rumored to be a very powerful mage, so powerful that the Templars won't even search her out and the Chantry leaves her alone. To most, she is simply a legend and a cautionary tale that mothers scare their children with."

Bailey nodded in understanding and said, "A boogey-man kind of tale. We had those in my world, too. 'Do this or go to bed now, or the boogey-man will get you.' The things parents get away with saying to their children just amazes me."

He nodded and said, "Well, if this really was Flemeth, I have excellent fodder for stories to tell my children…if I ever have any, that is." He laughed and cleared his throat before continuing. "So, anyway, after she finished talking to Hollie, the woman transformed into a huge dragon and flew away."

Bailey stared at him in silence for a moment. "Oh, come on. Pull my other leg. She turned into a dragon?"

"Hand to the Maker and I swear on Andraste's ashes that what I say is the truth."

"Is that something that a lot of mages can do? Turn into dragons and such?"

He shook his head. "No, not at all. I've read of the odd one here and there being able to turn into a particular animal, but it was always something like a wolf or a bear. Never a dragon. I mean, in order to even be able to do it, the theory is that you have to spend a lot of time observing the animal in order to fully understand it. Dragons were thought to be extinct and it's only been a little over 30 years since they appeared in Ferelden again. Flemeth transformed so quickly, it was clear this was something she's done many times before."

Bailey nodded in understanding at what Anders wasn't saying. "So, you think that because of the ease in which she did it, this woman might very well be the Flemeth of the legends?"

Anders shrugged and said, "Honestly, Bailey. I'm sitting here talking to a woman that crossed through the Fade from another world; I wouldn't be surprised if she really was that Flemeth." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "If it was her, I'll bet she would have some really interesting stories to tell."

"Probably so," she agreed and glanced up at the windows located high up on the wall. "It's gotten late. Looks like dinner will be something kind of quick tonight. We've still got a few eggs; omelets?"

"That's fine with me," he said, pushing himself off the table. "I'm going to go wash up and then I'll help if you want."

Bailey pushed herself off the table she was sitting on and said, "I can handle making omelets, Anders. I just hope you're able to be here tomorrow. Today was kind of crazy."

He stopped just outside of the curtains to his sleeping area and turned to look over his shoulder at her, a look of chagrin on his face. "I'm sorry. I'll tell her that I can't just run off anytime. I do have a responsibility to our patients, after all. But if I feel that what she is doing requires my talents as a healer, I will go. Battle can be rather hard on a person's health, you know."

She gazed at him for a moment, a little taken aback. She had forgotten briefly that for him, the past year and a half had been spent fighting to save the world from those Darkspawn things. She nodded in acquiescence and said, "As long as you come back in one piece, okay."

He held her eyes for a moment and nodded. "I'll be back out in a bit. Maybe after dinner, we can go to the Hanged Man. I'm betting you would love talking to Varric. He's a storyteller; you might enjoy some of his stories."

Bailey's eyes lit up at the idea. "Sounds like fun. Maybe I can share some of my world's stories with him."

Anders disappeared behind his curtains and Bailey moved into the kitchen area to stir up the fire and gather the things she needed for the omelets. As she cooked, she began to contemplate plans for building an actual hearth and fireplace in the kitchen. It would certainly make cooking less of an ordeal. 15 minutes later, she was sliding the second omelet onto a plate and she called out to Anders that it was ready. As she was putting the plates onto the table, something bright and shiny suddenly fell in front of her face. She jerked her head back to get a better look at it and saw it was a pendant hanging on a cord and it was dangling from Anders' hand. She looked up at him and he was smiling at her. "You like it? I saw it in the Dalish camp and thought you might."

She reached out and cradled the pendant in her hand to get a better look at it. It was a very light colored wood that had been polished to such a high shine it almost looked like glass. The pendant itself was of a cluster of flowers; some were fully open while some were still in bud form. The details were clear and the mastery that had gone into carving something so simple was astounding. "Anders, it's beautiful. Did I miss some kind of holiday or something?"

"No, I just thought you'd like it."

Bailey looked up at him and smiled. "Then thank you. I do like it, very much." She put the ends of the cord around her neck and turned her back to him. "Would you tie the ends for me, please?"

Anders stepped closer to her and took the cords from her fingers, his own brushing against hers lightly. He closed his eyes for a brief second and concentrated on tying a secure knot in the cord. He wasn't looking at her neck and imagining how her skin might taste against his tongue at all. Nope, not at all. _'And Andraste will rise again and lead the mages in a rebellion against the Chantry,'_ he thought acidly. He finished with the knot and moved his hands to rest on her shoulders, his thumbs barely touching the sides of her neck. She turned around to look up at him and lifted a hand to lightly touch the necklace. It rested just below the spot where her throat ended, and just above the small silver cross shaped pendant she never took off. He gazed down at her and said, his voice rough, "It looks nice. I'm glad you like it."

Bailey gave him another smile and went up on her tiptoes to softly kiss his cheek. "Thank you, Anders. It was very sweet of you to think of me." The look on his face as he gazed down at her didn't escape her notice. What he had jokingly said earlier about adoring him was sadly the truth, as was the fact that he _was_ her best friend. She turned to sit down to eat before she did something foolish, like grabbing him by the front of his shirt and planting a kiss on his lips.

Anders cleared his throat and pulled a chair out to sit and eat. He'd been taking off with Hollie when he could to try to put some distance between himself and Bailey. Plus, he found himself actually liking Hollie's company. Both her father and sister had been mages; apostates, in truth. Her father had been Circle trained, but had escaped with her mother to Ferelden. She was at least sympathetic to the plight of mages, and he enjoyed the easy friendship that was beginning to grow between himself and Hollie. And he and Varric, well…they both had the same kind of sense of humor and viewpoint on life. It was easy to be around him. He hoped Bailey found it as easy.

They finished their dinner and Anders volunteered to clean up, allowing Bailey to wash and change. As she let her curtains close behind her, she eyed the basin and water pitcher set up in her room and yearned for a hot shower. Instead, she made do with what she had and pulled her work tunic off. She tugged on her breast band to settle it more comfortably and washed away the day's grime and sweat. Feeling a bit more clean, she turned to rummage through the small chest of clothing next to her bed and found a pretty light blue shirt that had been embroidered around the neck with a pattern of vines and leaves. It had been one of Anders', but he had given it to her. It fell to about mid-thigh on her, but belted and bloused, it was actually very becoming. She paired it with a clean pair of black trousers and pulled her boots back on. She peered into the small looking glass she had hung on a nail and pulled a brush through her hair, then quickly braided it into a long rope. As one last touch, she allowed herself to press a small amount of rose oil to each wrist. She had made the oil herself, and it was such a painstaking process, she didn't use the oil often. Giving herself a small nod, she turned and walked back out into the main room to wait for Anders.

He pushed through his curtains a few moments later, dressed in a white shirt and a dark green jerkin that had a high neck and silver fasteners down the front. His belt was wrapped around his waist and he had pulled only half of his hair back into a small tail; the rest of it hung down around his shoulders. He stopped when he saw her and smiled, then gave her a slight bow, one arm behind his back, the other one across the front of his waist. He straightened up and offered her one of his arms and said, "Well, dear lady? Shall we go and make an evening of it in Lowtown?"

Bailey gave him a small curtsey and laughed. Taking his arm, she gave him a grin and said, "Let's paint it red and leave our mark."

He grabbed his staff as they headed for the door, hoping he wouldn't have to use it, but taking it just in case. One never knew what one might run into at the Hanged Man. On that night, it turned out to be a lady pirate...


	7. Storyteller, Rogue, or Merchant?

'_Okay, so he's not as bad as I thought,' _Bailey thought to herself as she sat across the table from Varric, one hand over her mouth to muffle the guffaw that was trying to escape. He was telling her about a time that he had to crawl out of a window of a brothel, completely naked aside from his trusty crossbow. It seemed that the woman he was with had not been a "working girl", but in fact had been a patron…who had mistaken him for one of the house's male workers. He not only had to get away from the woman's husband, but the Mistress of the house, who didn't take too kindly to non-workers using her rooms for their own sport.

Anders grinned and commented that the last time he'd been in the Blooming Rose, someone had tried to hire him. He hadn't stepped foot in there since. Bailey turned to look at him in surprise and he felt himself blush furiously. "I was there to treat one of the girls, I swear," he declared.

Varric chuckled merrily and said, "Is that what they call it nowadays in Ferelden? I just might have to go and 'treat' a girl myself. How about you, Blossom? I'll bet there is a man or two there that wouldn't mind being 'treated' by a beautiful woman."

Bailey sputtered on the sip of her drink and set her mug down. "Me? In a brothel? Thanks, but I've studied diseases too long. And I'm not that desperate," she said, then finished quietly, "at least not yet."

Varric caught the softly muttered words and cut his gaze over at Anders and then back to her. "Oh, so you two are…"

This time Anders sputtered into his drink and coughed. He finally managed to croak out, "No. Bailey and I are friends. We don't…we aren't…doing any of that."

Bailey looked down at the table top for a moment before looking up at Varric and shook her head. "No, I didn't mean that he and I…no. We aren't a couple, if that is what you are asking."

Varric narrowed his eyes as he caught the faintest hint of wistfulness in her voice. She was good at masking it, but he had spent a lifetime observing people and listening to them. He knew there was more to what they were saying, but he wouldn't press it…for now, at least. Instead he leaned his chair back and placed the heel of his boot up on the edge of the table. "Alright then. So tell me, Blossom. How did you get mixed up with Blondie here?"

Bailey cocked one eyebrow and said, "What's with the 'Blossom' thing? And Blondie?"

Anders shook his head and said, "He gives people nicknames. I've been tagged with 'Blondie', Merrill, the elf we picked up at the Dalish camp is now 'Daisy' and Fenris – he's that white haired elf – is um… 'Broody'."

"Broody?" She looked over at Varric.

Varric shrugged and said, "Well, it's what he does. He broods…a lot." He picked up his mug, took another drink from it and set it down. "So, come on. Tell me how you and Blondie came to be such great…friends."

Bailey sighed and looked over at Anders for a moment before she turned her gaze back on Varric. "Well, actually…he saved my life. I mean, literally, saved me. I had gotten lost along the coast of Ferelden and was studying a map to try to find my way when a Hurlock came out of nowhere and started to attack me. Anders was just in time, although I did take a knock to the head first. When I came to, conversation eventually led to him telling me he would try to get me back home, so I traveled with him here."

"Home? You're not from Ferelden?"

"She's from the Anderfels, actually," Anders jumped in. It was the backstory they had made up for her, to explain some of her odd mannerisms, plus it tied in with what she had originally told that Templar. "Couldn't believe it myself, running into someone from my own country, in Ferelden. Of course I had to help."

"Anderfels, huh? How did you come to be in Ferelden?"

Bailey and Anders shared a look between them. Anders gave her a slight shake of his head, but Bailey narrowed her eyes at him and her lips tightened. He gazed stubbornly at her and she finally sighed and said, "That is a story best left for another time, I'm afraid."

Varric's nose twitched; he smelled a good story here, possibly a best seller type. He gazed at her for a moment longer then said, "Okay. Some other time, then. But now," he pulled his foot from the table and let his chair drop back onto all four feet, "I'm going to share some of my most special brew with you. I like you, Blossom. You're good people, and I've seen Blondie smile more tonight than I have in the past two weeks."

Bailey watched as he walked towards the back corner of his own private dining area in his suite of rooms. Varric was a member of a merchant family and while he could have had a house up in Hightown, he preferred the honest company of the folks in Lowtown. He had told her this shortly after being introduced. She watched as he picked up a few heavy bottomed clear glass mugs from a shelf near the large oak cask that rested on two sturdy stands. He put the rim of one mug under the spigot and turned the handle. The liquid that flowed out of the cask and into the mug looked like chocolate milk to Bailey. It reminded her of a certain brew from her own world, especially when the drink began to settle in the mug and separate into two distinct layers; the one below was a dark, almost black color, and the foam forming on top was a pale creamy color.

Varric filled the other two mugs and carefully picked them up by the handles to bring them back to the table. As he set one in front of Bailey, he said, "Dwarven brew. I just tapped that cask a few days ago."

Anders looked at his mug with a bit of apprehension. The last time he'd been given something that had been called Dwarven, it had tasted like mud, mold, and dirty socks. He glanced over at Bailey to see she was holding her mug up in front of one of the lit candles. "The color is absolutely amazing, Varric. And it's totally sediment free."

Bailey looked over at Varric and said, "It reminds me very strongly of a brew from back home, at least in color and the way it behaved coming out of the cask."

Varric leaned back in his chair again. "I wasn't aware anyone else made a brew like this. As far as I know, it's a protected Dwarven secret."

"I didn't say it was the same brew, just that it reminded me of it. But the true test is in the taste, now isn't it?" she replied, then brought the mug closer to her face. Before she took a drink though, she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. "Oh, nice aroma. A hint of some kind of nut, I think, mixed with a bit of some earthy spice or herb."

Anders stared at her, then lifted his own mug and took a cautious sniff. He pulled his head back in surprise; Bailey was right. He could smell the herbs. This actually smelled _good_.

Bailey took a small sip from her mug and let it sit on her tongue for a moment before she swallowed it. As she did so, she grinned at Varric. "This is indeed a special brew. Chocolate. I tasted chocolate in there, I'm sure of it." She turned to look at Anders with a smile. "Go on; it's really good stuff."

Anders took a sip of it and let the taste roll over his tongue. No dirty socks in this brew, indeed. As he lowered his mug, he grinned at Varric. "I have to admit, I was expecting mud and mold. But this _is_ really good."

Varric shrugged and said, "Just a little something I like to keep around to indulge in sometimes. This cask has been sitting for about a year. At least, that's what the merchant I bought it from told me." He turned to Bailey and said, "Tell me what else you think is in there."

She gave him another grin and then stuck her nose into the mug again. "I smell the tannins of the oak wood cask. The nut is…walnut, maybe? But that herb…I just can't place it. I know I've smelled it before, but I can't put my finger on what it is."

Varric grinned. "A connoisseur of brews. I know some dwarves that would love you. Here's a hint on that herb; you probably use it every day."

She scrunched her eyebrows together to think, but it was Anders that said, "Elfroot." Bailey looked up at Varric who just gave Anders a single nod of affirmation. "Seriously? That is elfroot in there?"

"Yep. Apparently it has different properties when it's mixed with other ingredients and left to ferment. And the best part of this brew is no hangover in the morning."

"Wow. That is handy. Drink all you want and no lasting effects." She took another long pull from her mug and ran her tongue over her upper lip to remove the foam left behind. As she set the mug back down on the table, the loud noises of what was obviously a bar fight drifted up the stairs and reached them.

Varric set his own mug down and muttered, "Now what? Better not be those Sharps again; they know what will happen if they show their faces in here." He stood up and began walking towards the stairs that led down into the tavern area. Bailey and Anders followed behind him a moment later. Upon reaching the bottom, they stared as a dark skinned woman in thigh high boots and a white sleeveless tunic handily beat three men and placed her dagger against the throat of a fourth man. Whatever she said to him made him turn pale and he carefully nodded his head, a small bead of blood dribbling down his neck. She removed the blade and he ran like a scared rabbit. The woman stared after him, smiled and turned back to the bar to order a drink.

"Well. That was interesting. Might be worth the time to find out what that was all about," Varric said. As he started to walk forward, Bailey noticed Hawke step closer to the other woman and exchange some words. Hawke looked confused for a moment, then finally nodded her head in agreement to something. The dark skinned woman said something else, slammed her drink back and turned to walk out of the bar. Bailey trailed along behind Varric and Anders as they approached Hawke.

Hawke looked up at them and smiled. "Oh, hey. Glad you are here actually. Did you just catch that little exchange?"

"We saw enough. What was that all about?" Varric replied.

"Apparently, she lost something important that she was transporting for someone else. She'd hired those men to track it down, but they turned on her instead. She's going to confront the middle man and asked for my help."

"Your help? Do you know her?" Anders asked.

Hawke turned to him and said, "Never seen her before in my life. Said her name is Isabela and that I looked like someone trustworthy and knew how to get things done. She's meeting this fellow in Hightown tonight; I could use some back up, if you two are willing."

Anders looked over at Bailey but addressed his words toward Hawke. "I'm willing, but let me get Bailey back to the clinic."

Bailey looked at him. "I'll be fine here."

"Are you sure?"

Bailey rolled her eyes. "Yes. Norah is here, so I'll have someone to talk to."

Varric looked over at her and said, "I've got books up in my suite. You're welcome to pick a few to read, if you want. And if you get tired before we're back, feel free to use my bed."

Hawke turned to look at Varric and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure Bianca won't get jealous?"

Varric shrugged. "Bianca will be with me. She'll never know."

They both laughed and Bailey turned to look at Anders. "Bianca?" she asked him.

He grinned and said, "That's his crossbow. The only woman in his life, as far as I know."

Bailey raised her chin up and down in a slow nod, her eyebrows raised high. "Ooookay," she said slowly. "Gotcha. The crossbow."

Anders put one hand on her shoulder and stepped closer to her. "Sorry about this. I didn't expect our night out would end like this."

"It's really okay, Anders. Besides, that Isabela woman looked interesting. She might be fun to know. Go help her ass."

"Just her ass?"

"You know what I mean. Beat it. I've got reading to do and that brew to enjoy. I'm going to finish yours, you know. Probably Varric's, too."

Anders laughed and squeezed her shoulder. "Alright. I'll come back here to get you when we are done."

Bailey turned her eyes up to his. "In one piece, you promised."

"I will try my best to do so. I'll see you in a bit."

He let his hand drop and walked toward the door to join Varric and Hawke. Hawke asked him, "She going to be okay here?"

Anders nodded and said, "Let's get this done."

Hawke gazed at him for a moment then smiled warmly. "I'm glad you were here tonight, Anders. Good to know you will be by my side."

Varric snorted and said, "Hello. My name is Chopped Liver."

Hawke turned to him and said, "Oh, what would I do without my trusty dwarf, too?"

Varric pushed open the door and said, "You'd probably cry yourself to sleep. Come on; I left a full mug of good brew for this, and I just know Blossom is going to drink it all before I get back. Let me shoot something to make up for that loss."

The three of them left the tavern and Bailey turned to walk back up to Varric's suite. She had three mugs of non-headache inducing brew to consume, after all.


	8. Dreams

It was late by the time Anders, Varric, and Isabela dragged themselves through the front door of the Hanged Man. They had already bid Hawke a goodnight and left her on the stairs of her uncle's house. "Maker, I'm actually tired enough to sleep tonight," Isabela sighed heavily. "Thanks, you two. It was fun." She gave them a wave and disappeared up the stairs to head to the room she had rented.

Varric and Anders followed a bit more slowly and entered the suite at the top of the stairs. Two quick right turns and they found Bailey stretched across the width of Varric's bed, her head on a pilfered pillow and a book lying open near one of her hands. Varric scooped it up and noticed it was one that he had written. "Girl's got good taste in literature," he murmured softly. Anders gave him a little half-smile and bent over to gently shake her shoulder.

"Bailey. Come on, time to go home," he said quietly. Her eyes fluttered and then opened halfway.

"Anders?" Her voice was thick with sleep. Her head swiveled for a moment until she spotted him and gave him a soft smile. "You're back."

"Yes, dear lady, we're back," he assured her, as he sat down near her head.

"In one piece, too. 'M glad. Would have sucked here without you." Her head lowered to the pillow and she moved her hand around until she found his and curled her fingers around it. Her eyes closed again as she drifted back into sleep.

Varric stood watching the scene for a moment and noticed the way that Anders looked down at her hand and then at her. Quietly, he said, "So, it's not just friendship you feel, is it?"

Anders looked over at him and replied, "That's all it can be, Varric. I can't give anyone a normal life, even if that is what I want more than anything." He turned to look down at Bailey and felt his expression soften. "I've known her for only a little while, but I know she deserves better than a life on the run."

"But you aren't running now."

"I just…just can't. She and I…we discussed it already. She agreed with me. It's just too complicated right now."

"Blondie, you are absolutely killing my romantic side right now." Varric sighed and said, "Look, there's no way you'll be able to get her back to Darktown by yourself tonight. As asleep as she is, you'd have to carry her. That wouldn't leave your hands free to defend yourself against the Sharps or any Coterie thugs. Take the room just down the hall; I'll pay for it."

"I couldn't accept…"

"I insist."

Anders gazed at him for a moment then finally said, "Okay. Which room?"

"First door on your right. Should be open. I'll go square it with Corff while you get her settled in."

Anders nodded and said, "Thanks." He stood and managed to scoop Bailey up into his arms. She sighed in her sleep and lifted her arms to wrap around his neck, her head tucked against his shoulder. He closed his eyes for a moment and walked down the hall to the room Varric had indicated.

The dwarf was just coming back up the stairs when Anders met him at the top, clearly agitated. "There is only one bed in there."

"Yeah, and?"

"We can't…Varric, I can't sleep with her like that."

Varric rubbed a hand over his forehead and sighed heavily. "One night of sleeping next to her isn't going to kill you, Blondie. Go to bed. I know I am." With that, he turned and entered into his bedroom. A few minutes later, the light from the candle went out.

Anders stared after him for a moment, his mind arguing against itself over what he should do. He finally gave himself a little shake and turned to go back into the room. He closed and then bolted the door and turned to gaze down at Bailey, curled up in the center of the bed. He shook his head, leaned his staff against the wall, and began to undo all the clasps holding his jerkin closed. He folded it and placed it on the small table that held Bailey's belt. His boots went against the wall near his staff and he lowered himself to the floor to lie down on his back, his head pillowed on one arm.

Bailey had no idea what time it was when she awakened by the sound of someone shuffling around. She let her eyes adjust to the dim light that was seeping under the door. _'Door?'_ she wondered to herself. The bed she was in wasn't familiar and she finally decided that Anders must have gotten them a room at the Hanged Man. So where was he, then? She rolled over and looked over the side of the bed to find him curled on the floor, his legs pulled up towards his chest. After only a few seconds in that position, he turned to face the opposite direction and tucked one arm under his head. Another few seconds and he flopped over on his back.

"Anders?" she said quietly. "What are you doing down there?"

He turned his eyes up to the bed. "Trying to get comfortable. Sorry if I woke you."

"Why are you on the floor? There's plenty of room in the bed."

Anders cleared his throat and said, "It's okay. I've slept in worse…"

"Stop being an idiot. Get up here. Your twitching is keeping me awake." She moved over in the bed towards the wall. Anders laid there on his back for a moment then sat up and took a deep breath. He crawled up into the bed and tried to keep as much distance as possible between the two of them, but still get comfortable. Bailey spoke over her shoulder. "I'm not going to bite you or attack you and take your virtue. Stop fidgeting."

He grumbled softly, "It's not _my_ virtue I'm worried about."

Bailey turned over and stared at him in the dark. "Anders, I've been married before. I am perfectly capable of simply sleeping in a bed next to a man. We are both adults here, so act like it, get comfortable, and go to sleep." She turned onto her side, her back to him and her face to the wall.

Anders laid there, a bit stunned by what she had just told him. _'Married? She was _married_? Ah, hell,'_ he thought to himself, not realizing he had just used one of Bailey's curses. He wondered why she hadn't mentioned it before. As he lay there pondering, the softness of the mattress and warmth of the blanket began to relax him enough that his eyes finally became too heavy to keep open and he fell asleep.

Bailey came awake slowly the next morning. In her half awakened state, she snuggled against the chest pressed to her back. A heavy weight lay over her waist and fingertips rested lightly against her stomach under her shirt. When hips that obviously belonged to a male thrust closer to her bottom, she reacted purely on instinct. Her body arched, her hips pressed back and she made a soft moan of contentment. An equally soft sound of pleasure issued from behind her, and those fingers under her shirt started tracing small circles against her skin. Her tongue slipped over her lips to wet them and she turned over, another small noise of bliss floating into the quiet of the room. The hand that had been on her stomach drifted down to grip her hip, pulling her closer as she slid an arm around the neck of the person holding her. Her fingers tangled into the soft hair lying on the pillow and she felt a tickle of breath against her mouth. A quiet whisper slipped from her lips. "Anders…"

Anders, usually a light sleeper by habit, heard his name uttered with breathless need and decided he wasn't going to leave the Fade anytime soon. Something started to niggle at the back of his mind, but he couldn't be bothered to chase the thought down; especially when he had his arms wrapped around such a soft and curvy female form. He moved his hips forward and was rewarded with a soft gasp. He wanted to hear that noise again, but all he got was a low gravelly voice screaming in his head. _'Wake up before you do something you will regret!'_ He slowly and reluctantly opened his eyes. And saw Bailey lying there next to him, his arms wrapped around her, his mouth only inches from hers. He jumped backwards from her, almost falling out of the bed. "Oh, Maker…what…"

Bailey jerked fully awake and focused on Anders scrambling backward on the bed. Sudden realization washed over her that it hadn't been just a dream. "Oh!" She pushed the opposite direction and they lay there for a moment, staring at each other, eyes wide in shock at what had almost happened. She swallowed, licked her lips and said, "Um…good morning?"

Anders inhaled slowly and tried to calm his racing heart. "Morning. Sorry about… well…" he gestured vaguely towards his hips and felt heat on his ears.

Her cheeks felt warm and she answered him quickly to stave off any more awkwardness. "It's okay. I'd be more worried if you hadn't reacted. I think I mentioned last night that I've been married before, and I'm not exactly a stranger to men's bodies." She pushed herself up into a sitting position and gave him a small smile as she stretched, her back making little popping sounds. "Come on. I'm hungry, and we have things to do today," she said, moving to crawl over his legs to get out of the bed. The sudden desire to stay right there and see how the dream would have ended hit her and she might have hesitated for a second as she threw one leg over his hips. She pushed the thought away with a snarl and continued to climb out of the bed.

Anders closed his eyes so he wouldn't see her briefly straddle his thighs as she crawled over him. _'One night of sleeping next to her won't kill you, Varric says. What does he know? He sleeps with a crossbow,'_ he thought sarcastically. He waited a few more minutes and tried to think of mundane things like grandmas and puppies before he felt safe enough to throw the blankets from over his hips. He sat on the side of the bed and reached for his boots to pull them on and buckle them up. Bailey stood by the door, waiting for him, her belt wrapped around her waist and little strands of hair hanging around her face where they had escaped from her braid. He finally stood and pulled his jerkin back on, leaving it unclasped, and grabbed his staff to sling it over his shoulder.

It was still early enough when they left the Hanged Man that the merchants were just setting up for the day in the bazaar. They swung by the baker's shop and picked up two loaves of bread, one plain and one spiced, still warm from the oven. Bailey tore the loaf with cinnamon and raisins in it apart and gave half of it to Anders. He stared down at it as they walked back toward the entrance to Darktown and quietly said, "So; you were married."

Bailey looked over at him, chewing on a bit of her bread. She swallowed and nodded her head. "Yeah. I was."

"But you aren't now."

"No, I'm not."

"What happened?"

She shrugged and said, "It just didn't work out as well as we thought it would. We were both young. I was barely 21 when we met and we were married a year later. It lasted about 2 years or so, before I got tired of his passive aggressive tendencies and his apathy toward me. I asked him for a separation for a month. Before the month was over, he asked me for a divorce."

Anders stopped walking and stared at her. She took a few more steps before she noticed and turned to look back at him, one eyebrow raised. "What?"

He shook his head slowly, trying to comprehend how a man would choose to leave and forsake his marriage vows. "He just, what? Decided he didn't want to be married to you anymore?"

She walked back to him and said, "Essentially. And although I was very hurt at the time, I know now that it was for the best. He…" she looked down at her feet for a moment and then turned hard eyes back up to him. "He had started to become abusive, as well."

Anders' hand squeezed into a ball. "He _hit_ you?"

"Only once. It was the emotional and mental abuse that hurt me the worst." She turned and started walking again. He lengthened his stride to catch up with her. She glanced up at him and saw his jaw was tight and a muscle ticked under his skin. She laid a hand on his arm and he looked down at her. The look in his eyes would have frightened her if she hadn't known him like she did. "Hey, it was years ago. I'm okay, now. I'm not as young and stupid as I was back then."

He sighed and finally let the tension in his shoulders go. "It's…it's not that, Bailey. It's that the man had something I want so badly, and he chose to abuse it and leave." He looked down at the ground and scuffed the toe of his boot against the dirt.

Bailey swallowed hard and said "Something you want? You mean…"

He raised his head to look at her again and said, "A family; or at least, a chance to create one. The freedom to have children and not be afraid that I will have to send them away, if they are born like me. _He_ had that opportunity and just tossed it away like so much trash."

They stared at each other, standing there in the street. It was that moment when she truly understood what it was that drove Anders; what his deepest wish for himself was. Love, happiness, security; the same things that were given to other men without a second thought, but he was denied them just because he was born with magic in his body. She swallowed past the lump that suddenly formed in her throat and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. His arms went around her waist and she whispered against his ear, "Some men are just stupid that way. You aren't. I know that you will have what you want someday, Anders. And I'll help you get it in any way I can."

He gave her a squeeze and then loosened his arms to look down at her. "I won't risk your life to get it. I told you before, I won't have the blood…"

"Of innocents on your hands, yeah yeah. I know. But some things…well, some things are worth fighting for. I'm not a weakling. I can learn. And besides," she said, stepping back from the circle of his arms, "If this is going to be home for a while, I think I might need to learn some kind of martial skills. Maybe archery? Think Varric has an extra crossbow he'd be willing to let me touch?"

Anders looked down at her and shook his head. "I don't know. Probably not. But I'll talk to him and see if he has any ideas."

"Good. That's settled. Come on," she said, and grabbed his hand. "We've got patients to see and I want to change first. I don't want to get nasty stuff all over my pretty shirt."

Anders snorted and said, "You mean _my_ shirt."

"It looks better on me."

He gave her an up and down gaze. "I have to agree." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and grinned. "And I'll bet it looks even more stunning on the floor."

"Charmer. Stop teasing me before I _do_ attack you and take your virtue."

Anders' laughter filled the morning air and she smiled at the rare occurrence. She made a mental promise to herself that she would do whatever it took to see him happy like that all the time. Even if it meant giving up her own dreams of home…and him.


	9. Archer

A week later, Bailey found herself being dragged through the streets so early in the morning that not even the merchants were open yet. She blinked bleary eyes at Anders and said, "Remind me again why I'm awake at this hour?"

"We're going to see Aveline to ask her about getting you some archery training," Anders replied.

"Oh, yeah. I left the part of my brain that remembers things back in my bed."

Next to her, Isabela chuckled. "Tell me about it. I think I went to bed just an hour ago."

Bailey turned to look at her. "Damn, woman. Sure he wasn't a Grey Warden in disguise? Anders has told me they all seem to gain in stamina and endurance after the Joining."

Isabela raised an eyebrow and turned to give Anders a long look. "Oh, really?" She leaned in closer to Bailey, a wicked smile on her lips and glint in her eye. "And has a certain apostate Warden offered to demonstrate said stamina and endurance for you yet?"

Bailey glanced at Anders who had walked forward to join Hawke and shook her head. "Bela, I've told you repeatedly, it's not like that with me and him."

Isabela gave her a throaty chuckle. "But that's not for lack of wanting on your part, I know. You told me so the other night. You know, you really shouldn't drink that much Antivan brandy in one go."

Bailey just sighed and rubbed her temple as she remembered the horrendous hangover she'd had just three days ago. Anders had thoughtfully kept his laughter to himself, at least until after he had dulled the pain to something that resembled only one or two horses stepping on her head instead of a whole herd. Then he had walked outside the doors of the clinic and laughed so hard, he turned red and nearly choked. "You could have told me it was that strong."

"And miss that kind of fun? No way, kitten. You're adorable when you slur…and the other patrons really didn't mind the table dancing, either."

"You are an evil and wicked woman, Isabela."

"You are just now figuring that out? I must be losing my edge, then. I mean, you've known me for a whole week now."

Just ahead of them, Hawke turned and said, "Let's swing by and pick up Fenris. I want to get an early start on exploring the coast today after we talk to Aveline. The Viscount's son is still missing and we might find some leads over there."

Isabela rolled her eyes and leaned in to whisper in Bailey's ear. "Don't worry, kitten. I won't let Fenris tear Anders up too much."

Bailey gave her a nod in appreciation. "Thanks. He's always in such a pissy mood after he has to work with Fenris all day. Honestly, I think she pairs them just to hear the fighting."

They entered the courtyard just below the large sweeping steps that led up to the front doors of the Chantry. The mansion Fenris was living in was just around the corner. Their attention was drawn to an argument between the Grand Cleric and a man dressed in white armor. Something about revenge and his family. He had pinned a notice to the chanter's board, but the Grand Cleric pulled it off when he turned to walk away. Bailey's eyes widened as an arrow sailed through the paper and pinned it to the board again. She turned to watch the man walk away, his shoulders squared with determination. She caught only a quick look at his face, but that was enough to see the bright blue eyes, square jaw covered in a hint of dark stubble and the dark brown hair falling to his shoulders. "Oh, momma…buy me one of those," she breathed softly, forgetting for a moment who was standing next to her.

"I'll take two, myself," Bela murmured in agreement. She turned to look at Bailey. "And no, I never did like to share my toys."

Bailey stuck her tongue out at her and went to join Anders and Hawke. Hawke was talking to the High Cleric, and she caught only the last bit of what was said. "…Starkhaven. They were overthrown recently. Violently. Sebastian is the only surviving member."

Hawke cocked her head to the side and said, "He's royalty?"

The Grand Cleric nodded and said, "Prince Sebastian Vael. _If_ he succeeds in his pledge to take back his lands. He made a vow to the Maker to put worldly concerns behind him. It is a sin to foreswear himself for a mere title."

"But his family deserves to be avenged."

"Sebastian would spend his coin to buy men's lives, the same as those that attacked his family. No matter how justified he feels, that is _murder_. And when he returns, I will tell him so again."

With those words, the Grand Cleric turned and walked slowly up the steps to the front doors of the Chantry. Hawke simply shook her head and wandered back to the board in the courtyard and carefully removed the arrow from the wood. She pulled the sheet of paper from it and glanced at Bailey; even as her eyes scanned over the paper in her other hand, she handed the arrow over. "Here you go; your first arrow."

Bailey took it with a softly muttered, "I shall cherish it always."

Anders gave her a look, one of his eyebrows pulled upward, then turned to address Hawke. "So, what had His Highness so riled up?"

"Well," Hawke said, rolling her head on her shoulders. "Says here he'll pay for the removal of a mercenary band called the Flint Company. Guess he believes they are the ones that murdered his family." Hawke looked up and caught Anders' and Isabela's eyes and gave them a smile. "One of the possible hiding spots is on the Wounded Coast. We were going there anyway…"

Isabela grinned and twirled one of her daggers through her fingers. "Sounds like fun. I do love chasing mercenaries; they scream like little girls."

Hawke nodded once. "Alright then. Let's go get Fenris, then head up to see Aveline."

An hour later, Bailey was standing in the archery practice yard of the city guard barracks and there was a crusty old man yelling at her and a few other men and women. Aveline and Hawke had worked out a deal wherein Bailey would be a possible new recruit, allowing her to at least get a few lessons in handling a bow before she "washed out" of the program. It was the best Aveline could do, and she understood Bailey's desire to be able to protect herself, especially in light of where she and Anders had chosen to make their home. Anders had promised to work out somewhere for her to practice before he left with Hawke and the others to wander around the coast for who knew how long that day.

Four hours later, Bailey made her way back down to the clinic, a bow and quiver of arrows on her back. The arrow that Hawke had given her earlier that day was shoved in amongst the others; the pure white fletching on it stood out brightly amid the somewhat dingy orange and gray ones. She couldn't remember a time that her arms had been more sore than they were now. The first three fingers on her right hand were slightly blistered and she had a lovely long scrape from the bowstring on her inner left arm. She finally reached the doors to the clinic, unlocked one and made her way inside. After she closed and bolted the door behind herself, she headed to the medicine cabinet for a poultice. The dampened elfroot mixture immediately soothed the burn of the scrape and her skin began to tingle as the healing properties kicked in. The fingers on her hand were even feeling better, as she had used them to spread the poultice onto her arm. As she wrapped a bandage around her arm to keep the herbs in place, she made a mental note to ask Stephen, one of the Fereldan transplants that made leather goods, how much he would charge for an arm bracer and shooting glove. Whatever it cost, it would be worth it to keep the skin on her arm and her fingertips from getting shredded. She tied off the bandage and checked the tattoo that decorated the inside of her wrist; still intact. Bailey sighed in relief. The tattoo had special meaning to her, and she didn't relish the thought of trying to find someone to repair any damage to it.

She made her way back to her room and leaned her bow and quiver in the far corner. Her eye was drawn toward that white fletched arrow, and she pulled it out to examine it closer. She sat down on her bed and held the arrow close to her face. The craftsmanship of it was obvious; the shaft was completely straight, with no curve whatsoever. The feathers used for the fletchings were a pure white and attached with a fine silken thread. The arrowhead itself gleamed in the low light, a somewhat brighter color than plain iron would have had.

As she held the arrow, her thoughts naturally strayed to the owner. Now that had been a man to make a woman say 'Oh, baby. Thank you Lord for your wonderful works.' Then again, she'd always had a thing for men with accents. She leaned forward, her elbows on her knees and the arrow balanced across both of her palms and wondered if she might run into him again near the Chantry. It would be only right to return his arrow to him, after all. Right?

Bailey sighed and shook her head, then got up to replace the arrow in her quiver. _ 'I'll just hang on to it for now and if I happen to see the man, I'll give it back then,'_ she thought. Her stomach chose that moment to rumble rather loudly, reminding her that she hadn't eaten breakfast. _'Alright then. Lunch, then I'll open the clinic for the afternoon. Wonder what Anders is up to…'_

* * *

Anders spun and shot another bolt of lightning towards the mercenary that was trying to sneak up on Hollie's right side. The lightning jumped to the other two mercs nearby and he took a moment to swipe a hand across his forehead before the sweat blinded him. Fenris cried out and flinched to the side as an arrow sliced across his shoulder. Isabela jerked her head over at the sound, threw something to the ground and suddenly appeared behind the archer in a puff of smoke. Her long dagger slid into the attacker's back and he fell to the ground with a sigh and a final gurgle.

Hollie crossed her daggers on the neck of the last mercenary and pulled her hands apart, leaving a bloody gash. He too fell to the ground, and everyone was finally able to stop and take a breath. Fenris reached up to finger the wound on his shoulder and Anders looked at him with a questioning gaze. Fenris gave him a small shake of his head and said, "Just a surface cut. A bandage will suffice."

Anders nodded and said, "Does anyone need any healing? I've still got a bit left in me."

Isabela bent over at the waist, hands on her knees, her breathing harsh and deep. "Maker's breath. Where were those last ones hiding? It's like they fell from the sky."

Hollie reached into her pouch and pulled out a small bottle full of a bright blue liquid and handed it to Anders; a lyrium potion. He took it gratefully and didn't even shudder at the taste as he drank it down. She shrugged and said, "I think there were some clefts in the rocks around here. They must have been in them." She looked down at the one near her feet and gave him a shove with one foot. "Search the bodies; let's see if there might be any kind of incriminating letters or notes on them. We'll split whatever monies we find on them."

Isabela grinned and began rifling through the pockets and pouches of the bodies around her. Anders knelt down and did the same. Everyone was quiet until Fenris called out, "I've got some papers here, Hawke. Not sure if it's what you are looking for, though."

As Hollie moved over to Fenris, Isabela and Anders continued searching the bodies for anything useful. "Hey, Anders," Isabela called over to him. He turned his head and she motioned for him to come over to her. He finished with the man in front of him and pushed himself back to his feet. As he walked over to see what it was Isabela wanted of him, she pointed at a stack of arrows and a couple of bows. "Think Bailey could use any of those?" she asked.

He adjusted his path and went down on one knee to look over the weapons. One of the bows looked to be in a very good condition and he set that one aside, along with the arrows. He'd have Varric check them over for quality before he gave any of them to Bailey. "Thanks, Isabela," he said to her.

The lady pirate lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Not a problem. No telling what the guards will stick her with. Better if she has her own, anyway. Ooooh, now this is a pretty little bauble," she said, pulling a ring off of the finger of one man. She held it up and the sun flashed off of a blue stone set in silver.

Anders looked at it and leaned his head to the side. "May I see that a moment?"

She handed it over to him and he turned it over to look inside the band. "Ah, I thought so." He handed it back to her. She raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled. "It's got a light enchantment on it. The person wearing it becomes a bit harder to hit and just a bit faster in speed. You might ask for it as part of your take from this."

Isabela looked at it and cocked her lips into a smile. "I just might do that. Except that it didn't really work for our friend here."

Anders chuckled. "Very true." He shrugged and said, "You could sell it."

"I suppose." She looked up and tossed it to him. He caught it and gave her a look of confusion. She just smiled and said, "Give it to Bailey. She's just learning to defend herself and it might give her a slight edge. Just in case."

At that moment, Hollie called out, "Hey, you two! Get over here a moment."

Isabela and Anders joined the other two and Hollie stood up. "While it's not precisely what we are looking for, it does detail two other ambush spots. One of them is not too far from the Dalish camp; the other one is at the docks. I'm game for hitting at least one of them today, but what about the rest of you? Or do we keep going down the coast here to see if we can find the Viscount's son?"

Anders shifted from foot to foot while Isabela absently ran a finger over the handle of one of her daggers. Fenris balanced himself on the balls of his feet, giving the appearance of a graceful dancer, ready to move in a split second. They all glanced at each other and finally Anders spoke up. "I'm willing to go on up to the Dalish camp and maybe look for the boy as we go."

The other two nodded in agreement and Hollie gave them a single nod in acknowledgement. "Alright then. We'll head along the coast here and then head on up the mountain. Maybe we'll get lucky and find the other group closer than the Dalish camp. Let's gather up this stuff and get going."

As they turned to grab the loot, Hollie said, "Anders? Just a moment."

He stopped and turned back to face her, one eyebrow raised in question. She looked up at him, concerned. "Are you really okay? You've been pushing yourself a bit today, with the ambushes and the healing you've been doing. And I can tell you've been casting some sort of speed spell. I've been moving faster than usual."

He wiped a hand over the back of his neck and said, "I'm fine. That lyrium you gave me helped a lot and we found some more on these bodies. It should be enough."

She gazed up at him, her eyes sliding over his face, as if she were searching for signs of fatigue. Her hand lifted and gently slid over his jaw, causing him to freeze like a surprised animal. She gave him a soft smile and quietly said, "If you are sure. I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

She stepped past him to help Isabela and Fenris gather items. Anders stood there with his back to them for several more moments as his brain tried to process what had just happened. _'Doesn't matter. Nothing can come of it anyway.'_ He turned around and walked over to the bow and arrows he'd set aside and picked them up. His stomach growled and he turned to look at the others. "Say, is anyone else hungry?"


	10. Rants and Complaints

It wasn't really that late in the day when the four of them dragged themselves through the door of the Hanged Man, but it sure felt like it to Anders. Even Isabela had lost a bit of her swagger. They had cleared out another group of the Flint Company mercenaries and found the Viscount's son, only to discover that he hadn't in fact been kidnapped, but had gone off with one of the Quanari of his own volition. The boy was curious and it was obvious that he was trying to find his own path in life. Hawke left it for his father to deal with him, collected the reward and left the Viscount's keep with a muttered, "Crazy nobles. And to think my mother wants us to be part of all of that mess again." She had then swiped a hand across her forehead and looked at the rest of them with a raised eyebrow. "I need a drink. Anyone else?"

Anders dropped his body into a chair and bent over the table, his head resting on his folded arms. He sensed someone sit down next to him and he looked up to see Hollie. She gave him a small smile and pushed a tankard and a small leather purse toward him. "There's your take from today. Consider the drink a bonus."

He gave her a grateful smile and lifted the tankard to his lips. It was slightly cool and wet and that was all that mattered at the moment. As he set the drink down, he picked up the leather bag of coins and hefted it in his hand for a moment, then opened it to peer inside. There were a few gold pieces, some silver and copper, and the ring that Isabela had found. As he pulled the drawstrings to close it, he glanced at Hollie and said, "You know, you'd be able to finance your expedition a lot faster if you didn't insist on paying us so much."

Hollie finished her drink before she answered him. "Yes, I know. But I also know that keeping good people around you is worth the cost I'm paying. Besides," she leaned closer to him to bump his shoulder, "I know you will spend a lot of yours on supplies for your clinic, plus you have someone else to provide for."

Anders took another sip of his drink and raised his eyebrows in acknowledgment. "For now. Bailey has started making perfume oils and is gathering supplies to make some kind of beauty items. Scented soaps, I think. She's hopeful that she can work out a deal with a few of the merchants in Hightown."

Hollie sighed wistfully and said, "Oh, I remember scented soap. I will gladly buy some from her when she gets them made."

"I'll tell her you said so."

Varric chose that moment to plop himself down in a chair across from them, and Anders was slightly surprised to see Carver take the last seat. He gave the boy a nod; Carver hadn't really been very friendly to any of them. Carver nodded in response and looked around. "Where's your friend, Anders? The blonde girl."

Varric and Anders shared a look between them, both of them with the same curiosity on their face. Anders turned his head back to Carver and said, "She's probably at the clinic. Why do you ask?"

Carver shifted in his chair and said, "No particular reason. I just thought she might be here with you."

"Honestly, I haven't seen her since very early this morning. Why don't you go get her and bring her back here? I'm sure she needs to eat," Anders said, a note of amusement underlying his words.

Carver narrowed his eyes at him. "Trying to get rid of me?"

Hollie rolled her eyes and kicked him under the table. "He's trying to tell you to go get her and escort her safely back here, because he doesn't want her in the clinic alone. And she is probably worried since she hasn't seen any of us for most of the day."

Carver glared at her and pushed back from the table. "Fine. And I'm not an idiot boy, you know."

As he started toward the door, Anders called out, "And tell her to bring the kit. She'll know what I'm talking about."

Carver looked back over his shoulder and gave him a nod of acknowledgment and pushed out the front door of the tavern. Varric watched him leave and turned back to Anders and Hawke with a sly smile. "I think someone has a small crush."

Hollie looked from Varric to Anders and back to Varric. "Oh, Maker," she said, shaking her head with a sigh. Anders tried to hide his grin behind the rim of his mug. Oh, Maker was indeed the right sentiment.

Varric leaned over the table and said, "Now, Blondie…about those arrows you wanted me to check for you…"

* * *

Bailey looked up from the book she was reading at the sound of a knock on the clinic door. She waited a moment and there was another knock, followed by the sound of a man calling her name through the door. "Bailey? Are you in there?"

She set the history book aside and grabbed her knife before going to the door. She didn't open it right away, but said through the door, "Who are you?"

"It's Carver…Hollie's brother. Anders asked me to come get you and escort you to the tavern."

Bailey remembered the young and antsy man that had been with Hollie those first few times she was in the clinic, but she wasn't sure the man on the other side of the door really was him. "Prove it," she said.

Carver sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "The night we met, Anders was treating a young boy. When Hollie asked him for his maps, he asked us to help his friend Karl. We did and Anders displayed some…interesting circumstances."

Bailey relaxed and opened the door to let him in. As he walked past her, she said "Sorry, but I had to be certain. The thugs around here are getting creative."

He stopped and turned to look at her; she had her hair halfway pinned up and a simple cream colored tunic on. She looked relaxed…aside from that rather long dagger in her hand. He gestured at it and said, "You are at least prepared."

She looked down at her hand and laughed lightly. "Oh, well. A girl has to protect herself, you know." She walked back to the desk where she had been reading and placed the dagger into a drawer, then turned back to look at Carver, her hips resting against the desk and her arms folded over her chest. "Now, what was that about Anders having you come get me?"

Carver swallowed heavily at the sight of her bare legs beneath the hem of the tunic. It took him a moment to realize she had asked him a question, and when he looked up at her face, she had a small smile of amusement on her lips. He mentally shook his head and forced himself to stop thinking of her legs and lips. "He's at the Hanged Man. He came in with Hollie, Isabela, and Fenris. He asked me to come and get you, and to tell you to bring the kit. He said you would know what he was talking about."

Bailey immediately straightened up and said, "Did someone get hurt?"

Carver shrugged and said, "I saw Fenris favoring his left shoulder, but I don't think anyone is seriously injured."

He turned to watch her as she went to the wooden cabinet near the front door and bent to open a bottom door. She pulled out what looked like a square leather box with a single handle on the top of it. She pushed it into his arms and said absently, "Give me a moment to pull on some trousers and boots."

She pushed through some curtains and emerged only a few moments later, tightening a belt around her waist. She opened the desk drawer again and shoved that dagger into a sheath on her belt, then walked back over to him and took the box from his arms. "Lead on, McDuff," she said, gesturing towards the door. He gave her a confused look and she shook her head. "Never mind. Let's just go."

As they made their way through Darktown, Carver looked around and couldn't help wondering out loud to Bailey, "Why do you choose to live down here, amongst the danger and slavers and chokedamp?"

She shrugged and said, "Because the people here need us."

He looked over at her and said, "You could be working in a clinic in Lowtown or even Hightown."

Bailey glanced at him and said, "_I_ could, sure. But Anders couldn't, not if he's going to stay out of the Templar's grasp. And believe me when I say I will _not_ let that happen to him."

Carver contemplated her for a moment. "You mean that, don't you?"

She stopped and looked up at him. "With every fiber in my body. Anders is my best friend, Carver, and I stay with him because it gives me a chance to use my knowledge and skills to help people that need it and lets me watch out for him. He's not really a bad guy, despite that whole…" she stopped and looked around to make sure no one was nearby to overhear her before she continued, "you know, Justice thing."

She started walking again, and he hurried to catch up with her. "I hope you don't mind if I continue to withhold my judgment about him until I know him better."

"I would rather you get to know him before you pass judgment, so no, I don't mind."

They finally reached the entrance to Lowtown and made their way to the tavern. He pushed open the door for her, and Bailey walked into the room, only to be greeted by a very squeezy hug from Merrill. "Oh, good, you're here! Now everyone is here, together!"

Bailey gave the elven girl a squeeze in return. Merrill was the type that you just couldn't help but like. Her innocence and naivety might get her into trouble one day, but for now, it was truly refreshing. She had finally met Merrill the prior week, when she had come to the clinic with Hollie, who was – of course – looking for Anders. "Hello, Merrill. How are you tonight?"

"I'm good, thank you for asking. Oh, what's in the box?"

"Just some medical supplies. Anders asked me to bring it." Bailey looked around the ground floor, but didn't see anyone. "You said everyone is here? Where?"

"Oh, we're all upstairs in Varric's suite. Come on!" Merrill grabbed her arm and Bailey looked over her shoulder at Carver as she was pulled along and up the stairs. "Bailey's here, everyone!"

Bailey gave everyone a wave and spotted Anders sitting near the end of the table. She walked over to him and set the kit down near him. "Are you okay?" she asked, concern in her voice. He looked exhausted and paler than normal.

"Just a bit of a lyrium deficiency. One of the reasons I asked you to bring the kit. Plus, Fenris took a graze from an arrow today and wouldn't let me heal it," he said quietly. "Would you mind…?"

She nodded as she opened the kit and pulled out two bottles of lyrium potion and handed them to him. "Sure, if he doesn't mind."

Anders swallowed down both bottles and dropped the empties back into her hand. He nodded his head to the opposite end of the table and Bailey turned to see Fenris in conversation with Varric. She could see the small tear on the shoulder of his leather armor and moved toward him. Varric looked up at her and Fenris turned to gaze up at her as well. "Hello, Bailey," he said, his voice low and rough.

"Hi, Fenris. Anders said you got hit by an arrow. Do you mind if I have a look?"

Fenris glanced down the table at Anders and growled, "It is nothing. Merely a scratch. It will heal."

She put her hands on her hips and said, "Then it won't cost you anything to let me check it, now will it?"

Fenris narrowed his moss green eyes at her and she couldn't help but admire how his dark eyebrows contrasted so becomingly with his bright white hair. He was a very handsome elf, but his attitude irked her. "Alright, if it will grant me some peace," he agreed.

Varric said, "You can use my bedroom for a bit more privacy, if you need it."

"Thank you, Varric."

As she started to walk in that direction, Varric said, "But there is a small price for it." Bailey stopped and turned to look at him, her eyebrow raised in question. Varric smiled and said, "Blondie let it slip that you sing."

Bailey stared at Anders and he shrugged. "It did just slip out, I promise."

She turned back to Varric and he grinned. "So when you are done with Broody, you have to sing us a song."

Her mouth wanted to fall open in disbelief, but she managed to stop it. She then threw her arms up and said, "Fine. Healing first, fun after." She grabbed the medical kit and turned away from the table. As she walked into the bedroom where Fenris was waiting for her, she heard Isabela say, "Now that is a fine idea. I'll drink to that."

Hollie replied with, "Isabela, you'll drink to anything."

"And I will drink to that, as well." There was a burst of laughter from the table, which increased as Merrill said, "I don't get it. Drink to what, exactly?"

Bailey shook her head and turned to Fenris. He had removed his upper body armor and sat on the edge of Varric's bed, tense and sullen. He looked up at her and said, "Well?"

She stepped past him and placed the kit on the bed, opened it and pulled out a bottle of clear liquid and a pad of cloth. She poured some of the liquid onto the cloth and then slapped it onto the cut on his shoulder. To his credit, Fenris didn't even flinch. She cleaned the wound and tossed the damp pad into her kit and examined the wound. It wasn't very deep, luckily, so she trickled a bit of elfroot potion into it and began to bandage it. As she worked, she quietly said, "Why wouldn't you let Anders heal this for you? It would have taken nothing for him to do it."

Fenris grunted and said nothing. She finished tying off the bandage and began putting the things away into her kit. "God, but you are such a stubborn ass."

Fenris gazed at her and finally said, "It is my choice, and I do not wish to be touched by magic. It corrupts and I don't want any part of it again."

She turned her head to look at him as he slid back into his armor, and then put her hands on her hips. "Look, Fenris. I don't know everything about what happened to you in your past, but I do know one thing. You can't live there, because if you try, it will do nothing but eat you away inside."

"What would you know of it?"

"More than you think," she snapped. "Don't presume to know all about me just because of my association with Anders. And don't make assumptions about him based on the little amount of time you have known him. He's a good man, and he has good intentions. Sure, how he goes about it may not be to your liking, but you can at least agree to disagree with him about certain subjects. Get over yourself. Stop being such a dumbass and let others help you. Otherwise, you may find that when you need it the most, there will be no one there to offer it or to ask."

She closed the lid of the box with a shove and walked out of the room, trying hard to push her anger and frustration down. '_Lord, please help the fools. I know I'm only one person, but give me the strength I need to do whatever it is you sent me here to do,'_ she implored silently. She set the kit down on the floor near the door, took a deep breath and turned back to face everyone with a smile. "Okay, if I'm gonna sing, I need a drink first," she said, brightly. Isabela handed her a tankard and she took a long drink from it. "Alright, how about something happy? This is an old drinking song where I'm from, and I think you might like it."

She took a deep breath and launched into the first verse of Old Dun Cow.

"_Some friends and I in a public house  
Was playing a game of chance one night  
When into the pub a fireman ran  
His face all a chalky white.  
"What's up", says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost,  
Or have you seen your Aunt Mariah?"  
"Me Aunt Mariah be buggered!" says he,  
"The bleedin' pub's on fire!"_

She continued on through all of the choruses and verses, everyone laughing and shouting out in response where they were supposed to (after she had told them, of course). It was a nice time, and she really enjoyed it. As she was sitting down, drinking another tankard, Fenris approached her and quietly said, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you earlier. It is…" he paused, searching for the right word, "difficult for me to accept help, much less any magical help. Perhaps one day, I will share my story and it will be easier to understand me."

He stood to take his leave and she gazed after him. He was strange, and she could sense that his story was indeed a painful one. Maybe one day, he would let someone close enough that he could finally let go of the pain. Bailey shook her head and took another drink. When she lowered the tankard, Carver had taken the seat next to her. She started, and said, "Oh, Carver. You startled me."

He cocked his head at her and finally said, "You have a strange accent."

She raised one eyebrow at him and said, "Maybe to you. You sound strange to me."

Carver winced a little and said, "No, I didn't mean strange in a bad way. It's just…different to anything I've ever heard before."

Bailey sighed and said, "So I've heard. It's hard for me to be the only one around here that sounds like this. I miss hearing it."

"Where are you from?"

"A small village in the Anderfels. It's not even on any map," she added quickly.

He nodded and then said, "Anders is from there. Did you know him before?"

She gave him a smile and asked, "Did you know everyone in Ferelden?"

"Well, of course n…oh. Ah, yes, I guess that was a silly question." He raised a hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "So, how did you meet him? If you don't mind me asking."

Bailey leaned back in her chair and told him the same story she had told Varric. Carver listened intently and then said, "How long ago was that? The Blight ended almost a year ago."

Bailey thought for a moment, and said, "It was about 5, almost 6 months ago."

He regarded her for a moment and then quietly stated, "And you are still with him. You haven't gone home yet. Why? I know what you told me earlier, but I can't help feeling like there is more to it. Are you…" he paused for a second. "Lovers? Is that why you haven't left?"

She blinked at him, her mouth open in a small 'o'. "What _is_ it with everyone thinking that he and I are doing that? There is far too much preoccupation with everyone else's love life, or lack thereof. No, Carver, I am not sleeping with him or doing anything else with him. The reason I haven't gone home yet is because it may require help from particular people, and with Anders' situation, it's not exactly prudent to go waltzing up into the Gallows. And believe me, my situation isn't much better than his."

Carver snorted. "I've witnessed his situation. No one's could be more screwed up than that."

Bailey put her tankard down on the table, a bit more forcefully than she intended. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean he's an…an abomination. He merged with a spirit. That is not natural. Normal people…"

"Oh, don't even go there. Don't talk to me about normal people. Why do you feel like that, Carver? Wasn't your father a mage? And your sister as well? Did you think of them as not normal?"

His eyes glittered. "I remember having to move around a lot so the Templars didn't find us. I remember not making friends, because I would only have to leave them behind."

"So, now you are going to paint every mage you see with the same brush and blame them because your father only wanted to keep his family together and keep them safe? Grow up, Carver. I'll tell you like I had to tell Fenris earlier. Stop living in the past. There is nothing you can do to change it, so focus on what you can make of your future."

She pushed away from the table and went to find Anders, grabbing the medical kit as she passed it. He was talking to Hollie downstairs, and they became quiet as she approached the table. "Anders, I'm heading back to the clinic. It's been a long day and I'm tired."

He started to stand and said, "Okay, let me tell the others good night and we'll go."

She raised a hand with a glance at Hollie. "I'm a big girl, I can walk myself."

Hollie said, "It's really not safe alone, especially for an unarmed female. Anders, we'll finish this another time."

He nodded and said, "Yes, we will. Good night, Hollie." He stood and went up the stairs to bid everyone a good night, then came back down to collect Bailey, who was standing near the front door. He could hear her muttering under her breath as he approached her; something about nosy people and her love life. "Um, ready, Bailey?"

She turned to look at him and said, "More than. Let's go."

She was quiet on the walk back to Darktown, and Anders was almost afraid to ask her what was wrong. He finally couldn't handle it anymore and said, "What's wrong?"

Bailey hesitated for a moment before answering him. "Just feeling a bit frustrated with certain people, that's all."

He thought about that for a second or two, then said, "I'm sorry?"

Bailey turned to look up at him. He looked contrite and confused at the same time, as if he thought he might have done something but he wasn't sure exactly what. She chuckled quietly and said, "Not you. Others. Stubborn asses and nosy boys…both of them so caught up in the 'pain of their past' and assumptions and it just makes me want to…..ooooooh!" she finished with a huff of air and her hands in front of her body, fingers curled as if around someone's neck.

He contemplated _that_ for a second and then it hit him. "Ooooh. Fenris and Carver."

"Yeah, them. I wanted to knock both of their heads tonight. Carver asked me if you and I were lovers and if that was why I hadn't left you to go home yet. What is it with everyone being so interested in other people's sex lives?"

Anders felt his ears heat up and thanked the Maker it was dark enough that she couldn't see. "I, um…don't know. Human nature, I suppose? Everyone wants to know if what someone else has is better than what they themselves have."

She thought on that for a moment and said, "I guess you are right. My brain is too tired to think more on it."

Anders reached out and took her hand as a friend would. "Don't worry about it, dear lady. You and I know the truth of us, and that is what matters." He squeezed her hand and felt her squeeze back. They continued in silence as they headed back to their home. For a moment, Anders wished it really was as simple as he had stated to her. It boiled down to greed, really. Everyone wanted what someone else had, and he was honest enough with himself to admit that he felt it, too.

* * *

_Author's Note: I just want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, and marked this story as one of their favorites. It means so much to me, you have no idea. There is still plenty more story to come!  
_


	11. Contemplation

Bailey sat on the stone bench in a secluded corner of the garden, contemplating a late blooming rose on a nearby bush. A pad of parchment rested on her knee and stick of charcoal was clutched in her fingers. She pulled her cloak a bit tighter around her, warding off the early morning chill. Finally, she put charcoal to paper and began making a few broad and loose strokes, outlining the general shape of the rose. The sketching of something so simple gave her mind time to think while her hands and fingers produced the artwork.

Another three months had passed; she had been in this world for nine months now. She shifted, trying to pull a bit more of her cloak between her and the cold stone she sat on. It was the middle of the year, and the start of the winter season. She chuckled, remembering her reaction to finding out that Thedas was located in a southern hemisphere, and the further south one went, the colder it got. Isabela and Varric had supplied her with some maps and she had exclaimed, "Well, no wonder the trees were too green!" Varric had cocked his head in question at her outburst, and she had to think fast to cover her story. "They, uh…are different from the ones we had around my village." Varric had slowly nodded and replied with, "Whatever you say, Blossom."

It had not been an unproductive time. Her foray into producing luxury items like scented soaps and bath oils had met with success in Hightown. She had made an exclusive arrangement with one of the shopkeepers and tried to create a new scent each month, according to what flowers and herbs were available. Apparently, the nobles found the idea intriguing and made it a game amongst themselves to be the first to get the new scent. The hand drawn labels had also garnered interest, and she had received a few commissions for artwork; small things, like triptychs of flowers and herbs. Her most ambitious piece to date had been a drawing of the Chantry itself. That drawing now resided in one of the homes in Hightown, gracing the walls of a nobleman's study.

Another three months… and she had all but given up on going home. It had become apparent to her that she was here for a reason; what it was exactly, she had no idea. But if this was where she had to call home for however long it took, then she accepted it and would make the best of it. Besides, she had made her own promise to herself concerning Anders, and she wasn't going to cut out on him.

She lifted the pad up so the edge rested on her knee. The charcoal began to color in the shadows of the petals, giving them shape and depth, one finger darting out occasionally to smooth the lines. She sometimes missed her drawing pencils, but living here had given her a new appreciation for the delicacy it took to work with charcoals. She spared a moment to glance upward as she heard a quiet noise at the other end of the garden. _'Ah, it's just Brian,'_ she thought._ 'Probably here to start winterizing the plants.'_ Brian - that is, _Brother_ Brian – was the head gardener at the Chantry. It wasn't unusual for her to see him because she was, after all, in the Chantry Garden.

Anders nearly had an apoplexy when he had found out that she had taken to wandering through the gardens. "Are you insane, Bailey? Do you know what could happen to you? To _me_? You would be arrested and killed for aiding an apostate! I would be sent to the Gallows and probably made Tranquil, if not outright beheaded! You have to stop going there. It's too dangerous."

"Oh, so hiding away is so much better? Anders, it's a technique I like to call 'don't make yourself so obvious.' Seriously, would someone who is aiding and abetting apostates really go flaunting themselves at the Chantry? No, they wouldn't. But someone who has nothing to hide wouldn't keep themselves from the place. Besides, I seem to recall a morning where you stood right in front of the Grand Cleric herself and you weren't slapped in irons."

They had argued for another 10 minutes, until Anders' eyes flashed bright blue and Justice spoke. "YOU WILL NOT DO IT ANYMORE AND THAT IS FINAL!"

Bailey had then leaned in, pointedly poked him in the middle of his chest, and quietly said, "Watch me."

Bailey smiled a bit remembering how Justice had sputtered, speechless at her defiance. He was sometimes too arrogant for his own good, really. And she wasn't willing to give up the one place that had granted her some sense of peace and quiet in this world. She enjoyed working in the clinic with Anders, but lately his absences were more frequent. She was considering asking him about letting her take on an apprentice. There were a few young girls that immediately came to mind. And an extra pair of hands when he wasn't around would be helpful, to say the least. It was becoming apparent that running it by herself was starting to wear on her. She didn't even have the supposed 'guard training' anymore. That had lasted about a month, just enough time for her to learn how to handle a bow, to a point. Anders had gotten her a target and she would set it up at one end of the clinic to practice in the evenings after dinner, although she couldn't tell if she was improving. Her concentration was all over the place lately. It didn't help matters that Anders seemed to have become such close friends with Hollie. They had their own little private jokes now, and she had seen the way Hollie was looking at him lately. _'Stupid woman, with her knives and big blue eyes,'_ Bailey thought, her charcoal suddenly making a harsh line across her paper.

She sighed heavily and rubbed her fingers across the charcoal to soften the effect. As she did so, a footstep landed on the path leading into this corner. She looked up to see Brian heading toward her, a smile on his face. She gave him a smile in return as he came to stand next to her bench. He cocked his head and contemplated her drawing for a moment. "Another commission, Serrah Bailey?"

"No, not this time. This one was simply to give my hands something to do while my mind wanders about on twisted paths."

He glanced toward the bush she was using at inspiration. "A beautiful specimen; a few more weeks and the roses will become dormant. But there will be the winter bloomers such as pansies. 'Tis unfortunate that you do not have any pastels to capture the colors." He gestured toward the spot on the bench next to her and said, "May I?"

She scooted over a bit to make room for him. "I do miss working with colors, but my charcoal work has improved dramatically."

Brian nodded and then turned piercing green eyes on her. He was dressed in what she knew was his working clothes; sturdy leather boots, heavy trousers and a long sleeved dark red tunic. Brian was in his late 40's, if she had to guess, and although he was a Brother of the Chantry, he hadn't let that fact destroy his physique. He was powerful through the shoulders and chest, no doubt from all the physical labor that he did on behalf of the Chantry. His hair was a dark auburn and a bit of gray had begun to creep in around his temples. Small wrinkles traced the outer corners of his eyes and forehead, but overall, he had a very kind face. He reminded her of one of her uncles, a farmer, back home. Both men had skin browned from working outside and a sort of calmness that came about from working with the earth. For her uncle, it was animals, fruits, and vegetables. For Brian, it was this garden of flowers, provided for people needing a quiet spot for contemplation and prayer, and food for the Chantry's kitchen.

Bailey shifted a little under his intense gaze. He lifted a hand in a placating gesture and said, "Now, child, no need to fidget. You said that your mind was wandering down twisted paths. I am offering to listen, should you need to speak. I may be a gardener, but I am also a fully pledged brother. Anything you say to me will be kept in strictest confidence."

She turned to look at him, her lips twisting with remorse. "I wish I could talk to you, Brother Brian. But the secrets I keep are not mine to give away, nor would I betray the trust of the ones who gave them to me."

"I don't ask for you to give me secrets. Surely there are other things that you can say that will lighten your burden."

She lowered the pad onto her knee and leaned forward, her chin resting on her closed fist. "I suppose there are. And the people around me, well…they wouldn't precisely understand."

She turned to look up at him and he simply sat there, quietly. He had shoved his hands into opposite sleeves, as if he were wearing his robes. She smiled a little at that and finally said, "I just… I feel as if I were brought here to Kirkwall for a reason. But that reason has not made itself known, and I feel like I'm just floundering. There is plenty to keep me busy during the day, of course, but at the end of each one, I find myself wondering if what I did that day was enough. Did I make any kind of a difference or make the world better?"

Brother Brian considered her words for only a moment before saying, "Anytime that you are able to give someone hope makes a difference and does make the world better. A smile or kind word given to a worried person at the right moment can have a tremendous effect. Even something as simple as giving someone a packet of tea to help them sleep at night makes a difference. You do good works in your clinic, Bailey. You and your…friend."

Bailey turned shocked eyes to him and he gave her a calm smile in return. She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand. "Complete confidence, I promise. The Chantry is not completely blind to things that happen in the city. I will not betray you, just as you will not betray your friends. Trust, when broken, cannot be mended as easily as I might mend a fence. It is more fragile than the finest porcelain, and can be shattered just as easily."

She slumped a little and said, "How did you figure it out?"

He lifted one shoulder in a half apologetic shrug. "Solivitus."

She closed her eyes. Solivitus was an herbalist that sold his wares in the courtyard of the Gallows. She had found out about him through Anders, and had paid him a visit to examine his goods and to just talk shop with him. She had missed chatting with others that appreciated the hidden properties of plants. Brian continued speaking.

"He sometimes comes here to gather herbs for his potions. During a visit about 6 months ago, he told me of a lady who had brought him some rare ingredients. She had a mage with her, a tall blonde fellow, who took an interest in his wares and said he had a friend that was an herbalist. The next day, Soli got a visit from a woman seeking out some things for a clinic she ran. Said a friend of hers had told her he had them. She purchased some of the items he had made with those rare ingredients. You began coming here a few months ago, and I noticed your interest in the herbs, the same ones that Soli uses. I've seen you a few times around town in the company of a tall blonde man that carries what looks like a staff on his back. I began to put two and two together. Plus, I love mysteries. They keep my mind sharp."

He stood then, and brushed a hand down the front of his tunic. "Do not doubt yourself, child. You _are_ here for a reason, and the Maker will reveal it to you in his own time. Until he does, keep doing as you are doing now. The world needs people that care and are willing to give of themselves freely. And it also needs color," he finished, reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled free a small wooden box. He passed it to her with a smile and turned to walk back to where he had left his tools.

Bailey gazed after him and then slid open the lid of the box. She was astounded to see a set of soft artist pastels, each stick carefully wrapped in paper and nestled into its own spot inside the box. She lifted out a stick of pale yellow and gently unwrapped it, laying the paper to the side and began to give her sketch color. As she did so, her heart lifted from the shadows and for the first time in a while, she felt her confidence slide back into place.

And hour later, she finished smudging the last bits of green into the background of her sketch and held it out at arm's length to examine it. No, it was done. Anything else would be overkill. She brought it close to her face and gently blew across the page, dislodging any loose bits of charcoal and pastel, then pulled the sheet free and gently rolled it into cylinder. She secured it with a thread pulled from her cloak and gathered her things to leave the garden.

As she headed toward the public gate, she saw that Brian was clearing a part of the garden she hadn't noticed before. It was a long area along one wall, narrow and bordered by tall hedges. She blinked a couple of times when she saw there were archery targets set up at the far end of the space. She headed into the enclosure and Brian looked up from pulling some vines away from the legs of the targets. He wiped the back of one hand across his forehead and said, "Ah, I take it contemplation time is over for the day?"

She nodded and held the rolled up parchment towards him. "I decided you should have this one. The first thing I've done with color since coming to Kirkwall."

He smiled and bowed his head once at her. "Then I shall cherish it. Jonathan!" he bellowed. A younger man, dressed much like Brian, came running into the area from somewhere in the garden. He panted just a bit and said, "Yes, Brother Brian?"

Brian gestured at the parchment and said, "Take that to my office. And be careful with it. I imagine that it will be a priceless work of art someday." The side of his mouth twitched into a half-smile.

Bailey handed the drawing over to the lad and watched him walk away, holding the parchment as if it were a fragile artifact. She turned back to Brian and lifted her hand towards the targets. "I've not seen these before. Have they been here this whole time?"

Brian grunted as he pulled at a particularly tenacious vine. "They belong to Brother Sebastian. He likes to keep his skills keen."

'_Sebastian…why does that name sound familiar? I wonder if he means…'_ She turned to put her things down and reached down to help Brian pull the weed out of the ground. "Would that be the Sebastian that is also the Prince of Starkhaven?"

The vine finally came loose from the ground and Brian said, "The one and the same. Have you met Brother Sebastian?"

"I saw him once, but only in passing."

She took in the targets and wondered if he would mind her using them. She didn't realize she'd said anything aloud until Brian replied, "I don't see why he would. He's still away, in Starkhaven." He handed her a cloth to wipe her hands and asked, "Are you an archer as well, Serrah Bailey?"

Baily laughed and handed him his cloth. "I wouldn't go so far as to call myself that. I just picked up a bow for the first time about three months ago. I practice, but the area I have set up is not nearly this large, nor as well lit."

Brian nodded at her words and said, "Then bring your bow here. It's quiet in the mornings, as you know, and Sebastian is a good man. He won't mind your use of his targets. As far as I know, he will be remaining in Starkhaven through the winter."

She nodded in sudden decision. "You know, I think I will do that. Thank you, Brother Brian. For your kind words and for the pastels."

He simply bowed his head at her again and said, "Maker watch over you, Bailey."

When she got back to the clinic, Anders met her at the door, took her things and set them on the desk. When he did so, he leaned on the edge, his hands flat against the surface and took a deep breath. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "Were you followed?"

Bailey exhaled heavily and said, for what felt like the millionth time, "No, Anders. No one followed me." She walked past him into the kitchen and grabbed a hunk of bread and some cheese to assuage her growling stomach. He followed her and crossed his arms, watching her as she ate.

"You do understand my caution, don't you?"

"Yes, Anders, I do. And I have told you repeatedly that I am safe there."

His lips tightened up into a grimace and he said, "They'd like you to think so. Lure you in, and then snag you. Hollie doesn't think…"

Bailey threw her hands up at that. "You know what? I don't _care_ what Hollie might think, okay? She doesn't walk on water for me."

He gritted his teeth and lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I have no idea what that means, but she is just worried that you going there will bring unnecessary attention on me."

"Well, then, let me assure you. The one member of the Chantry that I interact with – which would be the gardener, by the way – already _knows_ about you. He knows about the clinic. He's known for months, actually, but yet, we are still here, still walking about freely."

Anders' head snapped up at her words. "What? Someone knows who you are? Who I am? Bailey, you can't…"

"No! Don't you dare start telling me what I can and can't do again! I am a grown woman! I know the dangers, and I know how to avoid them. Damn it, do you really think I would risk bringing the Templars here to our home? I have given you my trust and faith for months; at least have the courtesy to return the favor."

He stared at her, taking in the set of her jaw and the glassy look to her eyes, revealing the tears she was barely holding back. He crossed the few feet between them and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close to him. His voice came out as a low growl. "I'm sorry. I _do_ have faith in you. But the danger to you…there is still so much about this world you don't know. So I am begging you, please. At the very least, be careful."

Bailey clutched him close, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. She sniffed a little and then pushed him away, gently. She searched his face and said, "I am being careful. You have to trust me." One hand lifted to touch his cheek for a brief moment. "But I'm not going to stop going. Especially now, not after what I found today."

His hand had wrapped around her wrist when she touched his cheek and he lowered it now. "What is that?"

Her eyes sparkled happily. "Archery targets. And Brother Brian – the gardener – said I could use them for practice in the mornings."

He took a step back and said, "What about the one I have for you here?"

"I'll still use it as well. It's just that I know that some nights, you aren't exactly in the mood to listen to the constant twang of a bowstring."

He considered that for a moment, his arms folded across his chest again and finally nodded. "Okay. And actually, I would feel better knowing you have your bow with you when you go."

She smiled and reached out to balance herself on his arm as she rose on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

He smiled at the gleam in her eye. "You owe me a strong drink for this. I think I'll need it every time you leave here to go to those blasted gardens."

"I'll have Bela send over some Antivan Brandy. Will that be strong enough?"

"Andraste's ass! That stuff will take the coating off my teeth. How can you stand to drink it?"

"I admit, it is an acquired taste…but putting a bit of honey in it helps."

"I"ll have to remember that the next time you convince us to play Chase the Wench. Maybe then I won't wake up with a raging hangover again."

"Serves you right for laughing at me that first time."

"Alright. You win. Come on. Let's heal some sick people, shall we?"

* * *

_Author's Note: Chase the Wench is a drinking game involving dice and rules that become harder to remember the longer you play and the more you've drank. It's also known as Catch the Pig. I like my name for it better._


	12. Brother or Prince? Mage or Warden?

The next morning found Bailey back in the garden, this time armed with bow and arrows instead of parchment and pastels. Brother Brian gave her a knowing look and a grin when he saw her, and left her to her practice. It was the first of many mornings; through the whole winter season, in fact. Sun or rain, it didn't matter; she started her mornings with archery and contemplation. Her concentration was improving dramatically. She realized just how much one bright morning in early spring. She stood about 25 feet from the target, her body turned to the side, showing a narrow view to the "enemy". She held an arrow nocked against the string, her arms loose. She blew out a breath, blocking out all extraneous sounds. The bird chatter disappeared, the sound of the wind sweeping around the walls no longer existed. She opened her eyes and stared down the space towards her target. She inhaled, raised the bow and pulled back on the string in one smooth motion, the side of her thumb barely brushing the side of her jaw. On her next exhalation, she released the string, sending the arrow flying across the space to strike the target just to the left of its center.

"Nice shot."

Bailey jerked around at the softly uttered words, her eyes wide in surprise. The man before her was leaning one shoulder against the wall and smiling as he looked at the target. He turned to regard her, his bright blue eyes and dark hair tugging on the memory portion of her brain. He pushed off the wall to walk towards her, his long legs encased in soft leather trousers tucked into knee high boots. He wore a blue tunic belted at the waist and a quiver of arrows slung over one shoulder. He held a bow in his left hand, and wore a shooting glove on his right. _'Oh, dear Lord, it's Prince Sebastian,'_ her mind squealed, as the memory of an early morning six months ago finally filled in the blanks.

He stopped beside her and turned his smile on her. She knew she should say something… anything. "Thank you." _'Brilliant. Just brilliant.' _"I didn't hear you approach."

He gave her a small nod and said, "You are most welcome. I apologize if I startled you. I heard the sound of the arrows striking the target when I entered the garden and was curious."

"I've been practicing here every morning for the past three months."

"Ah, yes, Brother Brian did tell me a lady had been making use of the targets in my absence." He suddenly started and gave her a small bow. "Forgive me for failing to introduce myself. I am Sebastian, a brother here at the Chantry."

Bailey cocked her head and smiled. "Not Prince Sebastian of Starkhaven?"

He gave her a look of surprise and then his face fell in chagrin. "Ah, I see I've been made. I _am_ the rightful Prince, but the situation is…complex. For now, I prefer to think of myself as just a brother." He tilted his head to the side and said, "And you have me at a disadvantage, my lady…?"

"Oh! Forgive _me_! I'm Bailey, merely a visitor to the garden."

He reached out his right hand and Bailey took it, thinking to shake it, as was normal in her world. She was not expecting him to make a full formal bow and lightly touch his forehead to her knuckles. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Serrah Bailey."

She drew her hand back as he straightened and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Pleased to meet you as well, Your Highness."

"Please. I prefer Brother Sebastian, or if you will, just Sebastian."

"Okay, then…Sebastian. And I am just Bailey."

He smiled and said, "Now that is settled. Would you mind if I join you in shooting? I find it calms my mind and helps me prepare for my day ahead."

"They are your targets. I should ask if you mind me joining you."

"I am glad for the company. None of the other brothers and sisters are interested in martial skills, but I prefer to keep mine keen." He took a stance about five feet away from her and closed his eyes. His breathing began to slow and after two minutes, he opened his eyes, lifted his bow and made a shot that landed right in the center of the target. Bailey forgot about making her own shots and just watched him. His movements were smooth and precise; an economy of motion as he pulled an arrow from his quiver, nocked it and let it fly. He never took his eyes from the target and he landed 5 arrows in quick succession before he glanced over at her. "You aren't shooting. Is something wrong?"

Bailey suddenly realized she'd been staring at him and twitched. "Oh, no, nothing is wrong. I, um…was just watching. I think I'm jealous."

He laughed and said, "Don't be. I was thirteen when my grandfather put a bow into my hands. How long have you been shooting?"

"Six months."

"Ah, I see. I merely have a few years of practice over you." He turned back to loose another arrow and asked, "Who taught you, if I might ask?"

Bailey turned to face her target and let fly with an arrow before answering. "A crusty old city guard. I was training with the guard for about a month before they decided I wasn't improving fast enough. So I got my own bow and arrows and began practicing in my own time."

He lowered his bow, an arrow still waiting on the string. "You mean you've had only a month of lessons?"

Her arrow struck the target and she said, "Yes." She turned to look at him, a worried set to her mouth. "Why? Am I doing something wrong?"

Sebastian started to shake his head, but stopped. "For someone that has taught herself, you are good."

"And yet I can hear the unspoken 'but' at the end of that sentence."

He shrugged and gave her an apologetic shrug. "Forgive me. It comes from being trained by an archer in my father's army." He shifted his balance and said, "If you would like, I could meet you here in the mornings and practice with you. I could help with some pointers."

Bailey loosed another arrow as she considered it. Anders would have an absolute fit; but then again, wasn't this the man for whom Hawke and company had chased down and eliminated an entire mercenary company? She turned to face him and said, "Very well. I'd rather fix any mistakes in form and such right now before my muscles become too set in their ways."

"Excellent! We could start now, if you like."

Bailey glanced up to check the position of the sun and turned her eyes back to him. "I'm afraid I can't right now. I'm expected…elsewhere. I have my own duties to take care of today."

He nodded and said, "As you wish. Until tomorrow morning then, Serrah Bailey." He took her hand and bowed his head over it. She slipped it from his and gathered her things, walking down to the target to dislodge her arrows and push them back into her quiver. She gave him a smile and a shallow curtsy before she left and he laughed. As he turned to fire another arrow, he noticed a flash of white on the ground beneath the target Bailey had been using and walked down the space to investigate. Both of his eyebrows raised in confusion as he saw it was one of his own arrows, the fletching white, matching the ones in his quiver. He knew he hadn't missed the target, and the arrow was too clean to have been left there since his departure so many months ago. He knelt there, holding it in his hand, and turned his gaze to the gate where Bailey had disappeared. "A mystery," he said, and smiled. "One that I will have to solve."

* * *

When Bailey returned to the clinic, she found her apprentice, Althea, waiting for her. Anders had finally agreed to let her bring someone in to help, and this girl had been the one that handled the stress the best. It helped that she was a very quick learner and had a natural empathy that would serve her well as a future herbalist.

"Althea, why didn't you go inside?"

"I knocked, but I don't think Master Anders is inside, Mistress."

Bailey sighed and reached into a pouch to pull out her key. The door swung open and as Althea had surmised, Anders was not present. "Mmph. Figures. Well, I'm going to have lunch first. Have you eaten today?" She turned to glance at her apprentice. Althea was about 16 years old and naturally thin. She had dark brown hair that she wore in braid down her back and surprisingly, light green eyes that were a bit wide, making her look as if she were always surprised. Althea gave her a smile and said, "Yes. Father caught a few rabbits in his traps yesterday."

"That's good. You are still welcome to join me if you are still hungry."

"I'm fine, Mistress. Shall I start rolling bandages while you eat?"

"That's fine. I won't be long."

It turned out to be a rather quiet afternoon, and Bailey was able to spend several hours with Althea, teaching her to read and to write. She had stressed that a good herbalist had to be able to record the recipes for the potions and formulas they created, so that others, perhaps in far-away places, could benefit from that knowledge. Althea sat and read aloud from one of the books that Varric had loaned to Bailey. When she struggled over a particularly hard word, Bailey had her sound out the letters until she could get it. When the girl finished that passage, she looked up at Bailey and asked, "Who taught you to read and write, Mistress?"

"Oh, I had…um…several teachers growing up."

Althea considered that for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together. "Were you a lady of nobility? They are the only ones I've ever heard of having teachers. Unless…"

She suddenly turned her wide eyes on Bailey and asked very softly, "Mistress Bailey, are you a mage? I promise I won't tell! I've kept it to myself about Master Anders!"

Bailey was taken aback by the question. She blinked a few times and then said, "No, I'm not a mage. Why do you ask that?"

"Well, because mages and nobles are the only ones who usually receive such training to read and write."

"Ah, I see. I assure you, I'm no mage, nor am I a noble. My parents wished for me to be educated, and so I was. And now, I pass that education on to you. And I expect that one day, you will pass that on to someone else, perhaps your own child."

Althea turned a light pink and opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the sound of the door crashing open. They both looked up to see Anders practically running through the door, Hollie lying limp in his arms. Varric and Isabela rushed in behind him.

Anders caught sight of Bailey and Althea and barked out, "Elfroot potions, now!" As he laid Hollie down on one of the exam tables, Althea scrambled to the medicine chest and began gathering the potions into a basket. Bailey jumped to her feet and hurried to his side. Looking down at Hollie, she saw the long gash from neck to hip on the woman and blanched. She turned towards Althea and called, "Grab some of the lyrium, too, and that bottle of clear liquid. Those bandages you rolled today, as well."

The girl nodded and added the requested items to the basket and hurried back over to them. She grabbed a stool and set it near the head of the table and set the basket on it within easy reach. She then stepped out of the way to let the more experienced people work, but watched carefully to retain the knowledge she would gain.

Anders looked down at Hollie and traced one bloody finger over her cheek, trying to calm himself enough to be able to work on her. His hands trembled as he tried to undo her light armor and he started as Bailey slapped his hands away to work on the buckles. "Go wash your hands," she murmured. "I'll have her ready in a minute."

He choked out a soft "Okay" and stepped away to scrub his hands clean. He could hear Bailey behind him, asking Varric and Isabela what had happened and the two of them describing how they had been ambushed by a pack of Coterie thugs just as they had come into Darktown. One of them had a wickedly curved knife and had caught Hollie with it before any of them could stop him. Anders growled in anger and gripped the cloth in his hands for a moment before throwing it down and moving back over to the table.

Bailey noticed the way Anders had gently touched Hollie's cheek and how his hands had trembled before she sent him to clean up. Her heart had lurched for a brief moment with jealous pain. Then she reminded herself about her promise to see him happy, no matter what it required of her. She quickly got the armor and undershirt off of Bailey and used the clear liquid to clean the blood away from the wound. She glanced up at him as he joined her at the table and gave him a quick rundown as she worked. "Looks like her neck was nicked. It's not severe, but needs immediate attention. Stomach wound isn't deep, so we don't have to worry about infection from cut intestines, but this on her hip is worrisome." She looked up at him and said, "Are you ready?"

He nodded, gazing down at the woman on the table. He was trying to think of her as another patient, but this was _Hollie_. She was his friend, his…he wasn't sure. But he knew that she had become just as dear to him as Bailey. He snagged one of the bottles of elfroot and poured it slowly down the line of the gash. He grabbed a bottle of lyrium potion and drank it down, then dived into the pool of mana within himself. He channeled the power into his hands and began to run them gently over her body, a few inches away from actually touching her skin. The neck wound was more severe than Bailey had originally surmised; one of the major veins had been nicked. A longer delay in healing her would have been fatal. He moved slowly down the cut, inch by slow inch, healing and reconnecting the blood vessels and tissues that had been severed. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, working over Hollie. He was vaguely away of Bailey wiping his forehead once or twice, and pouring another lyrium potion into his mouth. She bathed the portions of the wound he had healed with more of the elfroot to ensure that Hollie wouldn't scar too badly.

He finally reached the end of the cut, the part on her hip that had worried Bailey. As he gazed at it with his Healer's sight, he could see she had been right to worry. It was a deep puncture wound and there was internal damage. He could also feel himself starting to tire, despite his Grey Warden stamina benefits. "Another lyrium potion, please," he said to Bailey. She placed a bottle against his mouth and he drank. He then used his fingers to gently spread the wound open and directed Bailey to pour some of the elfroot into the wound. He was thankful that Hollie was still unconscious. He pulled on his mana pool again, but the light on his hands was noticeably dimmer. _'Oh, Maker and Andraste, please, just give me enough to heal this woman.'_

Bailey could see he was tiring, and reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder. As she touched him, Anders' hands suddenly blazed a bright blue. He sucked in a sharp breath and jerked, his head turning to look at her for a moment in surprise. He said nothing, but turned his focus back on Hollie and drew his eyebrows down in concentration as he began to close this last wound.

As the skin began to knit back together, the glow around his hands dimmed and then faded altogether. He turned to look at Isabela and Varric and said, "I'll think she'll be alright." Then his eyes rolled back and he dropped into a heap on the floor.

When he came to sometime later, the first thing he could hear was Bailey muttering, "Stupid, _stupid_ man. Should know better by now, but nooooo. Wake up, you great sodding idiot so I can smack you into oblivion again."

The gentle movements of her hand as she pressed a cold cloth to his head belied her words. He slowly lifted a hand to cover hers and whispered, "I'm awake, but please don't hit me. It's been a rather tiring day."

He opened his eyes slowly and found he was laying on one of his own exam tables. "How…?" he started to ask, but Bailey cut him off. "Adrenaline does wonderful things to a body, and there were four of us to lift you."

He sat up slowly, pausing as a wave of dizziness assaulted him again. His natural reaction was to draw on his mana to heal it, but when he did so, pain snaked through him. He grimaced and Bailey rolled her eyes. "Stop it. Varric told me about the fight with the Templars today and how you got brushed with a smite. You idiot! Your mana wasn't at full strength and you did a full on healing of a serious wound, relying on lyrium to get you through it? What the hell were you thinking?"

He studied her and calmly said, "I was thinking that if I didn't do something, Hollie would die. I couldn't let that happen."

She just looked at him and then lowered her head. "I know. I would have done the same."

She turned away to drop the wet cloth into a bowl of water and he looked around. Varric, Isabela, Althea and even Hollie were gone. He turned back to look at Bailey. "How long was I out?"

"A few hours. Hollie woke up shortly after you passed out and was very upset over your condition. They waited about an hour, but then I sent them on. Varric volunteered to walk Althea home, and Isabela made sure that Hollie got home alright." She stood up from the stool she'd been sitting on and said, "Are you hungry? I made some stew."

Anders suddenly became aware of the scent in the air and his stomach growled loudly. Bailey laughed and said, "I'll take that as a yes. Come on. Need help getting to the table?"

"Sod off. I'm not an old man yet." He pushed off of the table and stood for a moment, letting the room level out. Maker, but he hurt. It had been a while since he'd been hit with a smite. He looked up at Bailey, who was standing there trying to hide a smile, but not succeeding very well. Just to spite her, he forced himself to walk as straight and normal as possible to the table in the kitchen. Okay, so his path wavered once or twice, but maybe she didn't notice.

As he practically fell into a chair, Bailey got three bowls and dished out a double helping for him. She set them in front of him and then poured some tea into two mugs. She sat next to him and watched as he devoured the first bowl, using a piece of bread to wipe out the thick broth. He ate the next bowl more slowly. She asked, "So, how did you four wind up fighting a group of Templars?"

He swallowed and took a drink of tea, then said, "Hollie had gotten a message from someone, asking her to meet him near a cave on the Wounded Coast. When we got there, it was Ser Thrask. You remember me telling you about the half elven boy that had run away? The one we took to the Dalish, so he could learn to control his magic and the Templar that actually sort of helped?"

Bailey nodded and he continued. "Ser Thrask, as much as I am loathe to admit it, isn't a bad sort. He is one of the few Templars I've met that isn't really that fond of how mages are treated. He wanted Hollie's help in protecting a group of mages that were being transferred to Kirkwall from Starkhaven. Their circle tower had burned, and they had nowhere else to go. But they managed to escape from their Templar handlers, and were hiding. Thrask tracked them down, using a phylactery, and was waiting for Ser Karras to arrive. He…he didn't want to see the mages killed outright."

Bailey chewed thoughtfully on a potato. "So…I take it that this Karras person is like any other Templar? Hit first, question later? And what is a phylactery?"

Anders nodded. "He's one of the worst of the lot here in Kirkwall. Wait, did I never explain about phylacteries?"

Bailey shook her head and said, "Is it some kind of magical tracker?"

"You could say that. When a mage is sent to the Circle, a vial of their blood is drawn and kept in a locked storage vault. If that mage ever escapes, the Templars can use that blood to track down the mage."

"Uh huh. So, you are telling me the Templars use blood magic to track down escaped mages?"

He shrugged and said, "They don't see it that way. To them, the blood is just a tool to control the mages."

"Wow. The hypocrisy just screams." Her eyes clouded with worry. "Wait a second. This is done to everyone sent to the Circle? That means they have a vial of your blood, too."

Anders shook his head. "Not anymore. Mine suffered an...accident, shall we say? Regardless of that, they wouldn't be able to use it anyway. My blood…changed, when I joined the Grey Wardens."

Bailey looked skeptical at that, and said, "You'll have to explain that sometime. But anyway…what happened with this Karras person?"

"We found the mages, and Hollie told their leader she would take care of it, but when we went back outside the cave…it was a mess. Thrask actually sided with us, but one of them, as Varric told you, caught me with a smite. It wasn't a full strength one, which leads me to believe that he was a very young recruit, probably only a month or two into his training. The mages got away, luckily, but so did one of the Templars with Karras. I'm afraid that one day, we'll see those mages at the Gallows."

He leaned back in his chair and stretched, his back popping as he did so. "Ah well. At least that won't be possible for a while. It was one of those last minute tasks anyway."

Bailey looked up at him at those words. "Last minute tasks? What do you…" Her words trailed off and her shoulders suddenly slumped. "Hollie got the last of the money she needed for that expedition, didn't she?"

Anders crossed his arms, leaned on the table and said, "Yes. She gave it to Bartrand, Varric's brother, this morning."

"When are you leaving?"

Anders started and raised his head to look at her. "How did you…?"

Bailey tilted her head and gave him a look of annoyance. "Really? You have to ask? Let me number the ways that it makes sense for her to ask you. Number one: you are a former Grey Warden. I'm assuming that you know these Deep Roads enough to be passing familiar with them. Number two: you are a mage and healer. I'm pretty sure that would come in handy. Oh, and number three," she continued, "You told her that night you gave her your maps that you would go. I heard you through my curtains."

Anders said nothing and simply gaped at her for a few moments. He finally cleared his throat and said, "Well, yes, okay. Ah…we'll be leaving in a week's time. Bartrand said we'd be gone for a few weeks at best, maybe longer if we find something worthwhile. He'll be finalizing the details of supplies and crew this week."

She dipped her head and reached out to push at her bowl with a finger. "A few weeks at best?"

"Yes. Look, I don't want you staying here alone while I'm gone. I want you to stay at the Hanged Man. As far as I know, Isabela, Merrill, Fenris and Aveline aren't going. Pretty sure Hollie is going to take Carver, and of course, Varric is going. I would feel a lot less worried knowing you are safe in a room - hell, even Varric's room, for that matter - while I'm gone." He held up a hand to forestall her protest and leaned toward her. "Please, Bailey. I don't mind you opening the clinic during the day, but I want you somewhere safe at night."

She slouched back in her chair and said, "Fine. At least I'll have Bela to entertain me."

Anders rubbed a hand over his forehead and said, "I shudder to think what you two will get up to while we are gone. But then again, Aveline won't let you get away with too much, thankfully." He raised his eyes to her, the candlelight reflecting on them and making them glow with a bright amber light. "Thank you for not arguing on this point."

She sniffed and said, "I decided to take pity on you. You've had a long day."

"I'll take it," he said, leaning back in his chair. "Is there more stew? I'm still hungry."

* * *

_Author's Note: Anders is always hungry. :-D Okay, I am in desperate need of a beta reader for the next few chapters of this story. Seriously, desperate! If you are interested in helping me out with it, PM me!_


	13. Revelations

_Author's note: I will be touching on religious topics in this chapter; that of the Chantry viewpoint and that of modern day Christian beliefs. I will not apologize for the inclusion of this in my story, and if any of us are familiar with Sebastian as a character, then you know he can be a bit preachy at times._

* * *

"No, spread your feet just a bit more…shoulder width apart. Good. Don't lock your knees, keep them loose. Relaxed, but ready to move; that is the stance you want to try for." Sebastian straightened from his crouch near her feet and legs. He'd been pushing on her limbs to get them into the proper stance.

Bailey gave him a half smile and said, "You could have just explained or shown me, you know. No need to man-handle me."

He turned startled eyes to her. "What? I…I didn't…"

"I didn't mean in _that_ sort of way, Sebastian," she said with a laugh. It was the morning after Anders' collapse, and she had kept her appointment with Sebastian for her first real lesson in archery, but only after making sure Anders had recovered fully.

The first thing she had to learn to do was stand properly, of course. He explained that when your body was stiff, you couldn't achieve the proper draw on a bowstring. That was when he'd begun to push on her body to fit it into the proper stance. He flushed a bit now and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "I should apologize. I was attempting to teach you the same way as I was taught. I must remember that a 13 year old boy is a different creature from a fully grown woman."

He turned to pick up their bows but paused when his hand fell on hers. He picked it up and pulled back on the string without an arrow nocked and said, "Maker's Breath, Bailey. Is this what you've been using all this time?"

Bailey sighed. "It's all I have available to me, yes. Why?

Shaking his head, he passed over his bow. "Try that one and tell me if you feel a difference."

She took it and admired the smooth wood of the weapon, set with shining metal caps at each end of the stave and bands of metal on each side of the hand grip. She pulled back on the string and noticed an immediate difference. She eased the string back and said, "It feels…heavier? Stiffer? I have to put more muscle into pulling the string back."

"That's called draw weight. Basically, it's how much force it takes to pull the string back a certain distance. And, my lady…your bow is very light."

Her shoulders slumped. "So, you are saying I need new equipment if I'm to become a better archer."

"I'm afraid so." He watched her face for a moment as a wide range of expressions crossed it and said, "I know of a man here in the city that has quality bows, and is not overly expensive. If you wish, we can go there now and you can check his merchandise."

She did a quick calculation in her head and then nodded. "Okay. But we will need to make one stop first."

He raised an eyebrow and took his bow from her, swinging it and his quiver onto his shoulder. "Of course. And take your bow. You may be able to get some trade value for it."

"Good thought." She slung her bow onto her back and they left the garden, making their way to the front of the Chantry and down the long flight of stairs. As they reached the bottom, a very subtle change slipped over Sebastian's features. His eyes narrowed a fraction and his shoulders seemed to lose some tension. His steps became smoother, and he walked with a confident gait. Bailey raised an eyebrow slightly at the change, but said nothing. He turned his head towards her and said, "When we are finished at the bowyer, I need to return to the Chantry. I'm to lead the Chant this afternoon, and I like to prepare with prayer and meditation. Will you be attending?"

Her lips twitched. "Thank you for the invitation, Sebastian, but I'm not Andrastian."

His steps faltered and he turned to her, shock clearly evident on his face. "Not…but…the garden…" His mind tried desperately to make sense of what she had just told him. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Are you saying that you don't believe in the Maker and his Bride?"

"I can't say if I do or don't, having never been exposed to them until I came to Kirkwall a year ago."

At that, he stopped walking altogether. He gaped at her in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you had never heard of the Maker and Andraste until a _year_ ago?"

"I was raised with the beliefs of my father and mother. I do believe in a Supreme Being, a father-figure who created us in his image, but he doesn't have a wife."

"Then who was the prophet for your Supreme Being on earth?"

"There were several people, but mainly, His son."

Sebastian's head was spinning. He narrowed his eyes and said, "Where are you from, Bailey?"

"A small village in the Anderfels. Why?"

He studied her for a moment. "I have never heard of such a religion, and I am familiar with several of them in Thedas."

"But not all of them."

He grunted and admitted, "No, not all of them."

"Then perhaps we'll have other things to speak of besides archery. Ah, there's the shop I need to stop in before we head to the bowyer." She ducked through a doorway and Sebastian followed. His nose was suddenly assaulted with various scents and he looked around to find himself in what appeared to be a perfumery. Closer inspection of the shelves revealed small glass bottles filled with viscous liquids and small cakes of soap, wrapped in paper with fancy labels. Bailey wound through the displays with ease and began speaking with the shopkeeper. As he maneuvered carefully, trying not to knock over any of the bottles, he caught the words of the merchant.

"…sold like you wouldn't believe! I think this has been your most popular scent thus far, Serrah Bailey. It might be profitable for us both if you would consider doing another run of it."

"But the problem would come in duplicating it exactly. You know I press the oils fresh each month and use that first batch to make the scent. What I could get now would not have that same quality."

The shopkeeper sighed. "I know, but I promised a few of my customers that I would ask. Of course, they still love the regular products. Oh! I got a shipment of orange blossoms this morning, and the amber as well. Will you be picking that up now?"

Bailey glanced at Sebastian and the shopkeeper's eyes followed and widened. Bailey gave her a smile and said, "I have another errand to do at the moment, but I will pick them up before I head home. I was wondering, did the triptych sell yet?"

The woman's eyes closed as she smacked her hand lightly against her forehead. "Maker forgive me! I should have sent a note to you. Yes, it sold last week, for a very good price, too. Let me get that for you. I won't be but a moment." She turned and disappeared into her back room and returned a few moments later with a small leather purse. "Your pay, minus my 10%, as agreed. Will you be bringing in another one anytime soon?"

"Maybe by the weekend. And of course, I'll have the new scent for next month to plan out, too. Tell me, do you think something geared towards men would do well? Something perhaps a bit masculine and earthy? If so, I could try to do two specials per month, one for women and one for men."

The shopkeeper clapped her hands together and cried, "Oh, what a wonderful idea! Yes, I believe it would do wonderfully!"

Bailey grinned at her enthusiasm. "Then go ahead and start hinting to your customers that next month's special will truly be special…to celebrate the spring season."

"Will you need to bring some samples for me? I'm not sure I'd do well at picking a mixture for a man."

"Don't worry, Sasha. I've got a few males around that can help with that."

Sasha's eyes slid over Sebastian as she murmured, "You certainly do."

Bailey barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "This is Sebastian, a brother of the Chantry. He's taken it upon himself to help me improve my archery skills."

Sasha's whole body flinched as she heard the phrase 'brother of the Chantry.' "Oh! Brother Sebastian, Maker bless you with patience with this one."

"Hey!"

Sebastian gave the woman a small smile and said, "He already has. Thank you, Serrah Sasha." He turned away to let the two women finish their business and made his way back outside. The smells were starting to overwhelm him.

Sasha leaned around Bailey to watch him walk away. "A brother in the Chantry. Almost seems a waste of man."

Bailey considered the change that had happened to him when they left Chantry grounds. "Perhaps. Something tells me that his heart is being challenged right now. Who knows what the Maker has planned for him?"

"The same could be said for any of us. I'll let you get on with your day. You'll be back soon, for the blossoms and amber?"

"Yes, I will. Until then, Sasha."

Bailey turned and walked outside to join Sebastian, opening the purse Sasha had given her to check just how well her drawing had sold. The glint of several gold coins winked back at her. She smiled and said, "Okay, let's go see this artisan."

She turned her head up to him and he was gazing down at her, a question in his eyes. "What?" she said, warily.

He turned and started walking to a different section of Hightown and she followed. He cut his eyes toward her and said, "So, you must be the Bailey that drew the yellow rose that adorns the wall in Brother Brian's office."

She chewed her bottom lip as he turned to look down at her. She nodded and said, "I do a few things here and there and sell them through Sasha."

"And apparently you are a perfumer?"

"No, I'm an herbalist, actually. But I like to press oils from herbs and flowers, and make them into bath oils and scented soaps. Sasha sells those as well, and I make a limited run scent for each month, according to what is available to me."

He turned to look at her again. "You are full of surprises, Bailey. Even in Starkhaven, I kept hearing some of the nobles talking about some new fad of scented soaps in Kirkwall."

She ducked her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I just started making the stuff with what I had. The nobles turned it into a game."

"Believe me, Bailey, I understand. I used to be one of those nobles, always searching for the next bit of pleasure to fill my days and hours."

She tilted her head to look up at him. "I can't imagine you were ever that shallow."

A cloud seemed to pass over his eyes and his voice lowered. "Perhaps I will tell you of it sometime." He looked up and said, "Here we are. Let's see if we can find you some proper equipment."

The shop had an open area in front of it, covered by a wooden roof. A man sat in a corner, the draw knife in his hands pulling long curls from a piece of wood clamped in front of him. He looked up as they approached and smiled. "Ho, Brother Sebastian! You've returned from Starkhaven I see. What brings you here today?"

He stood and clasped Sebastian's forearm with a large hand. Sebastian smiled in return and greeted him. "Serrah Andrew! It's good to see you again. I'm actually here today to help this lady in acquiring a new bow. I fear her talent has surpassed her equipment."

Bailey looked confused for a moment; he hadn't told her that was the real reason she needed a new bow. The offhand praise brought a light flush to her cheeks and a pleased smile to her lips. She looked up at Andrew as he said, "Ah, a pupil? Come in, my lady. Let's get you set up, shall we? Now where did I put that clicker…" His words petered out into a low mutter.

Bailey turned to look at Sebastian and said, "Is that true? What you told him about my talent?"

"I would not have said it if it were not true. You are good for someone who is self-taught. With the proper bow, you can become better than merely good. Come," he said, gesturing toward the interior of the shop. "Let's see what we can find that will last you for a while."

They went inside, and she had to stop for a moment and breathe deeply. The smells of wood, oils, and varnish were heavy in the air, and it brought a smile to her face. Her father's shop had smelled like this. She pushed the memory back and turned to face Andrew, who was handing her some wooden contraption that vaguely resembled a bow. He explained that it would measure her draw distance and from there, he could figure out what sort of bow would be best suited for her. Five minutes later, he determined that she would need a bow with a 42 draw weight and gestured toward a section of staves on the left side wall. "Any of those will work, though for your height, I would suggest a short bow."

Bailey nodded and walked over to examine the bows, picking up each stave and running a hand over it. Sebastian watched her for a moment and then leaned in to whisper very quietly to Andrew, "Charge her a very minimum price, regardless of the cost of the bow. I'll take care of the rest of it."

Andrew turned his head and gave Sebastian a calculating look. "Is the lady someone special, Your Highness?"

Sebastian quickly shook his head. "No, not like that. You know I am sworn to the Chantry. I simply want her to have something of quality and that will last her for a long time to come." He glanced at Bailey and said, "Something tells me that she doesn't purchase fine things for herself very often."

The bowyer nodded and said, "As you wish, Sebastian. I will make sure she has quality without emptying your coffer too badly."

Bailey was almost despairing of finding one she liked when she spotted it. It was near the bottom of the wall, half hidden behind another stave. The wood was a light silvery tone, the grain small and tightly packed. When she pulled it from the hooks it was resting on, she found it was very light in her hand, but substantial at the same time. The wood was worked to a silky smoothness, and there were small and simple carved horn caps on each end of the stave. Metal bands worked with a flowering vine were inlaid into the wood at each end of what would be the hand grip. She turned to Andrew, her eyes still locked onto the bow. "Serrah Andrew; how much for this one?"

He approached her to see which one she had chosen. "Ah, white oak. A very fine wood for a bow. It should last you for many years, my lady."

She traced a finger down the grain and said, "It's beautiful." She suddenly came back to herself and said, "And the price?"

Without hesitation, Andrew bowed his head and said, "For you, my lady, a simple smile will more than suffice."

"Oh, come now, Serrah Andrew. I must give you something in equal value."

"In truth, I had forgotten I had it. It was one I took in trade from some Antivan on his way home after that blight in Fereldan last year. I suppose it has been here waiting for someone to pick it up. Judging from the way you are handling it, I would say it's been waiting for you."

Bailey flushed and ducked her head. "Then, let me trade you my old bow instead. Sebastian says it is too light for me, but perhaps some young boy or girl will find it useful as a beginner bow." She pulled it from her shoulder and handed it to him.

Andrew took it and examined it. "Ash wood, and backed with oak. Yes, a fine beginner's bow. You have a deal, Serrah…?"

"Bailey. And thank you, Andrew. I will remember your kindness every time I pull the string."

"Ah, speaking of string…let's get the rest of the equipment to go with it, shall we?"

Half an hour later, Bailey had new arrows, both target and hunting, three bowstrings, a new quiver and a long case for her bow…and her purse was only five sovereigns lighter. She had a sneaking suspicion that Andrew was charging her considerably less than he normally would, but she wouldn't hurt his pride by accusing him so. She and Sebastian were now back outside of the shop in the open area, saying goodbye to Andrew when her eye fell on a small block of red and white striped wood, lying forgotten near a barrel full of other small pieces. She stooped to pick it up and lifted it to her nose. The smell of red cedar assaulted her, and suddenly she was in her father's shop once again, watching as he built a table from planks of that wood. She blinked back the sudden wetness of tears and turned to the bowyer. "Serrah Andrew, this piece of wood…"

"Red cedar, messere. It doesn't make a good bow on its own, but I often use strips of it as inlays."

A thought suddenly struck her. "Would you be willing to part with this small piece? I would pay you for it."

Andrew studied her face and saw the shine of the tears. The small chunk of wood must have special meaning to the lady. "Tis only a small piece. Take it with my blessing, my lady."

Bailey gave him a grateful smile, and before she could think about it, she lifted onto her toes and wrapped an arm around the man's neck. "Thank you," she said softly.

Andrew awkwardly patted her back. "You are most welcome, Bailey."

She pulled away and Sebastian gave her a puzzled look. She merely twitched her lips at him and said, "Aren't you leading the chant this afternoon? We should be going."

"Oh, yes. Andrew, thank you. I'll return when I can to…"

"No need, Brother Sebastian. Maker watch over you."

"And over you as well. Good day, Serrah."

As they began to walk back to the Chantry, he glanced down at Bailey. She was gazing at the small piece of wood in her palm. "Does the type of wood hold a special meaning?"

She nodded and ran a thumb over it. "My father…he made furniture from this wood. He would work it until it was smooth as silk and then oil it until it shined like glass. Our house was full of it."

He considered that quietly, and the tone of her voice as she spoke. "Where is your father now? Your mother?"

Bailey dropped the wood into her pouch, making sure it was closed securely. "I don't know."

Sebastian took note of the sadness in her voice. He closed his eyes for a moment and said a short prayer. _'Maker, this child may not know you, but look upon her with love. Grant her peace in her sadness and loss.'_ Aloud he said, "I understand. I lost my parents, too. Even my two older brothers."

"I don't think mine are dead. We became separated…and they wouldn't know where to look for me."

Sebastian stopped and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and he gave her a sad smile. "Keep that hope within your heart, Bailey. But if one day you do discover their fate to be a sad one, I will be here for you as someone who fully understands the pain."

Bailey gazed up at him and then said, "We only met yesterday, but…are brothers permitted to at least hug?"

He chuckled lightly and said, "I'm sure the Maker will not look disapprovingly upon an act of compassion."

She smiled and said, "And I know for certain that my Lord would feel the same." Then she threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. His hands gently patted her back for a moment, then she eased away. "Thank you. For everything."

He smiled down at her and said, "You are most welcome, Bailey. Now, I should get back to the Chantry, and you have some orange blossoms to retrieve. Shall we meet in the garden tomorrow after morning prayers? Say, 8am?"

"I will be there, with my new bow in hand."

He laughed and turned to leave, then turned back. He lifted a hand and said, "Maker watch over you, Bailey."

She smiled and said, "And the Lord bless you, Sebastian."

He tilted his head in acknowledgment and left. She watched him walk away, her mind now in a pensive mood. She turned away from the Chantry to make her way back to Sasha's shop. Being so deep in her own thoughts, she never noticed the figure step from the shadows of a nearby building, nor did she see them stare after Sebastian then turn to regard her back with a worried frown.


	14. Farewells

The next week was filled with frantic activity for nearly everyone in the merry band of misfits. Bailey spent a couple of hours every morning with Sebastian in archery lessons and her afternoons in the clinic. Anders visited several patients with long term illnesses and made arrangements with Varric for Bailey's stay at the Hanged Man while he was gone. Varric was helping his brother to coordinate the last minute details. Isabela, Fenris, and Merrill helped Hawke in procuring gear and equipment, while Carver spent most of his time convincing his mother that he was going with Hollie so that he could contribute to helping his family. Aveline was, of course, a bit preoccupied with her guard duties, but did stop by the clinic the day before departure to deliver some potions that she thought might be useful. "And these didn't come from the excess stores of the guards, right, Anders?" she told him with a flat look.

"I know nothing of where they came from, Aveline. They were left on my doorstep by a kind soul."

Aveline nodded once, then her face softened for a moment. "Be careful. Return safely and watch out for the others. You've had experience and will know more what to expect."

Anders gave her an assuring smile and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I will do everything within my power to keep them safe, Aveline. I know how much the Hawkes mean to you."

"Thank you, Anders." She turned and left the clinic, giving Bailey a wave of her hand as she walked out the door.

Anders gazed after her for a moment then walked over to join Bailey at her work table. He leaned one hip against the edge and asked, "How's it coming?"

She looked up at him and blew a strand of hair out of her face, her arm never stopping from stirring the large pot of lyrium potion in front of her. "Good, I think. It looks to be the right color, at least."

Anders peered into the pot and reached out to poke a finger into it. He touched the wet digit to his tongue and felt a zing of energy race through his body. "I think you got it. And hey, the addition of mint and stevia for flavor didn't change the effect. That was an excellent idea, Bailey."

Bailey grinned up at him and that strand of hair fell into her eyes again. Anders reached over and tucked it behind her ear. "Thanks. I'd hate to think I just wasted all that lyrium on an experiment."

"Me, too. Those smugglers still aren't any easier to deal with a year later." He shifted out of the way as she reached for a basket of empty bottles. As he watched her fill the first one, he quietly said, "You didn't have to do this, you know."

"I wanted to contribute somehow." She shrugged one shoulder and peered up at him. "Besides, I want to know you are well stocked with lyrium. I don't want you falling over at a critical moment."

He studied her for a moment. "Listen, Varric is hosting a dinner for all of us this evening, but it will end early so we can all get enough rest. When we get back here after, there are some things I need to talk to you about before I leave. Important things."

Bailey paused in her work and said, "Okay." She corked the bottle in her hands and set it down, grabbed a nearby cloth and wiped her hands. "Can you finish filling these bottles? There is something I absolutely have to do today. I shouldn't be gone but an hour, if that."

He gave her a curious look but nodded slowly. "Okay. Do you need an escort?"

"No. I need to take care of this myself. I'll be back soon. Do you need me to pick anything up while I'm out?"

"Nothing I can think of."

He watched as she gave him a nod and ducked into her sleeping area. She emerged a few minutes later wearing a fresh shirt and her hair tidied into a tight braid. She gave him a smile and a wave as she went through the door. He looked over at Althea and called her over to help him finish filling the bottles. They worked companionably as he entertained her with stories from his days in the Grey Wardens.

Bailey got back to the clinic about an hour later and walked in to find Althea laughing so hard she had one arm braced over her stomach and Anders waving his hands in the air and talking. "So, there we were, slogging through this marsh, tracking down a missing Warden, and Sigrun suddenly asks me to set a bush on fire. Then she asked me if I could freeze it. When I asked her why, she actually said to me 'Because it's an eeeeeeevil bush.'" Anders chuckled and shook his head. "I miss that dwarf sometimes. At least she didn't tease me about wearing mage robes back then."

"Oh, Master Anders, I can't imagine you in robes."

"Me neither, not anymore."

Althea suddenly spotted Bailey standing behind him and straightened up. "Oh, Mistress. Welcome home."

"Thank you, Althea." She grinned at Anders. "Sounds like I missed story time."

He shrugged and said, "I was just telling her about some of the Wardens I served with in Amaranthine."

"Ah. I hope you kept the Oghren stories to yourself. Her young mind doesn't need to be exposed to that sort of knowledge."

His eyes rolled as he said, "Of course. I sometimes wish I could scrub my own mind clean of some of those stories."

She giggled and turned to Althea. "I ran into your mother on the way back. She asked me to let you know she needs you home early today. Something about preserves."

"Oh, Maker! I'm supposed to help her with the spring preserves. I'd better go!"

"Go. I'll see you tomorrow."

She gave them both a quick curtsey and fled out the door. They both watched her go, and she turned to see an affectionate smile on Anders face. H quietly said, "She reminds me of some of the younger apprentices I helped to teach at the Circle in Ferelden."

"And she reminds me of myself at that age."

He turned to contemplate her for a moment and tilted his head in thought, his right hand lifting to his face and a finger touching his lips. "For some reason, I thought you'd have been a bit more of a troublemaker."

"I meant her thirst for knowledge, Anders."

"Mmm hmmm. So you _were_ a troublemaker."

"I was a normal teen. Okay, normal for my world."

He nodded and suddenly clapped his hands together. "I'm going to get cleaned up so we can go to dinner."

"This early?"

"I thought we'd go early so we can…how do you say it? Hang out."

Bailey laughed. "Okay, my slang out of your mouth just sounds wrong. But the idea is right."

He grinned and laughed as he disappeared behind his curtains. She busied herself by straightening up the clinic and making sure all of the lyrium potions were wrapped and packed into a pouch for Anders. She looked up as he emerged from his sleeping area, his hair pulled back into a tail and his coat brushed clean. He looked over at her and said, "Ready?"

She gazed at him for a moment, the thought that this would be the last dinner meal she would share for him for a long while. She finally nodded and said, "Yeah. I guess so."

He walked slowly towards her and looked down at her. He gave her a smile and then offered his arm to her. "Then shall we, dear lady?"

She wrapped her arm around his and they left the clinic, bolting it behind them. As they wandered through the streets of Darktown and finally into Lowtown, Bailey was conspicuously quiet. Anders looked down at her and bumped her shoulder with his own to gain her attention. When she looked up at him, he was caught momentarily by the look of sadness in her eyes. He stopped and said, "Bailey, what's the matter?"

She searched his face, trying to memorize the exact way the sun highlighted the amber color of his eyes and how it brought out the bright gold strands in his hair. She swallowed heavily and finally choked out, "I'm going to miss you so damn much."

He gazed down at her, and moved his hands to gently cup her face in his palms. Her hands wrapped around his wrist, trembling even though she gripped him tightly. Oblivious to everyone else around them, he bent until his forehead touched hers and murmured, "I'll miss you, too, dear, sweet lady." He closed his eyes and they stood in that position for a few more moments, both of them silent. When he raised his head and opened his eyes, it was to find a few tears making tracks over her cheeks. Sharp pain stabbed his heart and he barely stopped himself from audibly gasping at the sensation. He wiped the tears away with trembling thumbs and gave her a tentative smile. When she gave him a watery smile in return, he leaned forward and gently pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Come on," he quietly said. "Let's go be sad with everyone else."

Bailey sniffed quietly and nodded, wrapping both of her arms around his as they started walking again, a bit more slowly now, as if they both wished to put off the inevitable for as long as possible. They reached the door to the Hanged Man much too soon.

They weren't the only ones to arrive early. Fenris, Isabela, and Varric were already into their second tankard of ale, and Merrill showed up only five minutes later. Hawke and Carver arrived to find the six of them laughing hysterically at another one of Varric's tales. Aveline had duty, but had promised to swing by later. With everyone finally there, Varric went downstairs to ask Norah if she would bring up the dishes he had ordered for the meal.

This meal turned out to be more than just the usual Hanged Man stew. There was roast chicken, filleted fish with lemon and caper butter, small green peas with cheese and fried onions sprinkled generously on top, roasted new potatoes, spinach salad dressed with olive oil, chopped garlic and fresh orange sections, and for dessert, rhubarb pie. When everyone just stared at first, Varric commented, "Hey, if I have to live on travel rations for the next several weeks, I'm damn sure going to have a good meal my last night in comfort."

For a while, the only sound was forks hitting plates, until a rather loud belch broke the silence. "Oh! Pardon me," a very red-faced Merrill said. A round of laughter went around the table and the chatter picked up. Shortly after the empty dishes were taken away to kitchen, Aveline arrived and was presented with a full plate that had been set aside for her.

Bailey sat next to Varric at the table and slowly sipped from her tankard, gazing around the table at the group of people that had somehow become friends. Each one had their own distinct personality, but somehow managed to form a cohesive unit that worked well. She thought briefly of her own small group of friends back home and ran a finger around the rim of her mug, her chin resting on the palm of her other hand.

Varric looked over at her and said, "Why so pensive, Blossom?"

She turned her head towards him and said, "Oh, I was just thinking of my friends back home. Wondering what they might be doing tonight."

"Probably nothing as fun as this, eh?

She grinned and shook her head. "Highly doubtful. Nothing could top this, Varric." She heaved a sigh and turned to look down the table at Anders, sitting next to Hollie and looking as if they were having a very serious discussion.

"Don't worry, Blossom. I'll make sure to bring him back in one piece."

She turned to look at the dwarf again and said, "Bring yourself back as well, Varric. Hell, if you have to, bring Carver and Hollie, too." She smiled at his burst of laughter. As she looked around the room again, she could see that people were starting to wind down and preparing to go. A sudden thought hit her and she stood up, knocking a fork against the side of her tankard to gain their attention. Everyone turned their eyes to her at the sound, curiosity clear on their faces. Without a word of explanation, she began to sing.

"_Of all the money that e'er I had,_

_I spent it in good company._

_And all the harm that e'er I've done,_

_Alas! it was to none but me._

_And all I've done for want of wit_

_To mem'ry now I can't recall_

_So fill to me the parting glass_

_Good night and joy be with you all._

_Of all the comrades that e'er I had,_

_I am sorry for their going away,_

_And all the sweethearts that e'er I had,_

_I would wish them one more day to stay,_

_But since it falls unto my lot,_

_That I should stay and you should not,_

_I'll gently rise and I'll softly call,_

_Good night and joy be with you all._

_A man may drink and not be drunk,_

_A man may fight and not be slain,_

_A man may court a pretty girl,_

_And perhaps be welcome back again._

_But since it has so ought to be,_

_By a time to rise and a time to fall,_

_Come fill to me the parting glass,_

_Good night and joy be with you all._

_Good night and joy be with you all."_

Into the quiet that followed her song, she raised her tankard and said, "Remember, the first rule of an expedition is that everyone should stick together. So, follow that rule and come back safely. Until we meet again, may the Maker hold you in the palm of his hand."

Everyone raised their tankards and then drank silently. As she sat back down, Varric rose to his feet and said, "Blossom has the right of it. This will not be an easy and simple task. But we are prepared. We are ready. To success!"

"To success!" rang out in eight voices. Everyone began to gather for the last minute hugs and well wishes, and Bailey found Carver standing before her. He looked down at her and then bent to awkwardly hug her. Just when it was almost to the point of going on too long, he started to pull away but whispered into her ear, "I won't tell Anders about the Chantry brother."

He pulled back to find her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open with surprise. Before he stopped to consider the consequences, he quickly pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and moved away from her.

Bailey blinked a few times and lifted a hand to her mouth, staring after the dark haired…boy? Man? Had Carver grown up over the past few months and she hadn't noticed it?

Anders arrived at her side and noticed the look on her face. He glanced in the direction she was staring and saw no one but Carver. He passed a hand in front of her eyes and she jumped and looked up at him. He cocked his lips into a smile and said, "Welcome back. Where did you go?"

She stared up at him, confusion still clear in her eyes. "Carver…kissed me."

"He did what?" The words came out in a growl and his eyes narrowed as he gazed at the boy's back.

"Easy, tiger. It was just on the cheek. Okay, well, the corner of my mouth, but it was unexpected, to say the least. Don't get all jumpy."

Anders filed the information away to think on later. It appears the boy _had_ developed a crush on Bailey. That explained a lot of the odd comments and questions he'd been getting from Carver. He would bear watching. "Time for us to go. Have you finished with your goodbyes?"

She nodded and they left, waving a goodbye to everyone. The sun had set while they had been inside, but there was still just enough lingering light for them to see. Anders reached over to take her hand and said quietly, "Stay close. This is usually the time the more unsavory characters start to make their appearances."

She rolled her eyes a little, but walked a bit closer to him. "You're kinda cute when you are all protective, you know that?"

His eyes stopped darting from side to side to look down at her, startled. "Cute? Did you just really call me cute? Dear lady, I am a former Warden and a mage. I am most decidedly _not_ cute."

She grinned up at his perturbed expression. "Yep, you are."

He simply looked at her, growled and shook his head. "Exasperating female. I think you drank too much ale."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Maybe. I don't know. I feel sort of tingly, but not really drunk."

He turned and looked down at the top of her head. The weight of it against his arm was not unpleasant, and although he hadn't had nearly as much to drink as she had, he was feeling a bit tingly himself. _'Stop it. You can't be distracted like that. You'll only hurt her in the end.'_ He shook his head and pushed the feelings into the spot in his mind where he kept them locked away. He had to keep his mind focused. The rest of the walk to the clinic was attack free and silent, each of them lost in their own thoughts about the next day.

As Anders bolted the door, Bailey said, "You said you had something to talk about tonight."

He looked at her and nodded. "Yes. Get comfortable though, first. It might be a long conversation. There are some things about my time in the Wardens that you need to know about."

"_That_ doesn't sound ominous at all."

"It's not meant to be. It's just certain things that I've kept to myself, but well…I need to share them with you. I promise, I'll explain. I'll make some tea for us."

Bailey went into her sleeping area and pulled off her boots, unbuckled her belt and then changed into the long tunic she wore for sleeping. She slipped into a pair of soft slippers and then went to join Anders in the kitchen. He had lit one of the lanterns, and as he warmed the water, she sliced a couple of pieces of bread and put them onto a plate, along with a crock of butter and a pot of honey. He gave her a smile and she moved to put the plate on the table. "Hey, why don't you go get comfy and I'll finish the tea. Is the water hot enough?"

"Yes. Be right back." He moved off, pulling his feathered jacket off and unbuckling his belt. The curtains of his sleeping area swished closed behind him, and he emerged a few minutes later in a soft, worn under tunic, trousers, and bare feet. He held a folded sheet of parchment in his hand as well. He laid it on the table and sat down as Bailey set a mug of tea in front of him. "Thank you."

She sat and they both took a few minutes to fix the tea to their liking. She liked hers very sweet, but he barely dribbled any honey into his at all. After they had both taken a sip, he set his mug down and steadily gazed at her. He chewed on his bottom lip, trying to figure out where to start.

Bailey watched him, taking a bite from a slice of buttered bread, and finally said, "Anders, just pick a spot and start talking. You can fill in any gaps later."

"Okay. I've told you about the circumstances of how I came to be a Warden. But even I have to admit, I wasn't a very good Warden. The structure, the rules; it all reminded me so much of the Circle. Even after I helped the Warden Commander save the city of Amaranthine, I stayed only a few more months, then I left. Shortly after that was when I found you."

He leaned forward and reached out to take her hand in his. "What I haven't told you is that during that time, I managed to make some rather important contacts. People that I know I can trust." He looked down at their hands and quietly said, "I don't know what will happen on this expedition, Bailey. The Deep Roads are dangerous. Very, very dangerous. I told you that when I joined the Wardens, my blood was changed."

He turned his head up to look at her and she gave him an inquisitive look. "Yes, you mentioned that the other night."

He swallowed and took a deep breath. "I've explained what the Wardens do. They battle the darkspawn and watch for signs of a Blight. But I haven't told you just how it is they are able to do that." He licked his lips, suddenly nervous about sharing this with her. "When you join the Wardens, there is a sort of ceremony. In that ceremony, a certain drink is consumed. The drink…" He paused for a moment. "The drink contains the blood of darkspawn. By consuming it, it taints our own blood, giving us the ability to sense the darkspawn and makes us immune to the taint that is given off by them. But in return, the darkspawn are able to sense _us_. It's like a beacon to them, and it draws them to us, just as it draws us to them. And the Deep Roads is where the darkspawn tend to make their homes, if you can call it that."

Bailey stared at him in dismay, trying to piece it together in her mind. "So…you are saying that you have a sort of…sixth sense about where these darkspawn are, and they have the same about you. And you are willingly going into the one area of the world where you are most likely to run into them?" She jumped up from her chair and said, "Are you crazy?"

He stood and put his hands on his shoulders and calmly said, "It's because of my Warden abilities that I'm even going at all. Without me, Hollie, Carver, and Varric would have no advance warning should a group of darkspawn be nearby."

She stared up at him and finally heaved a sigh. "Alright. That makes sense." She sat back down and so did he. She took a sip of her tea, ignoring how her hand shook. "Okay. So, you've explained the dark part of being a Warden. Is there any good part?"

He nodded and sipped his tea as well. "Yes. The contacts I mentioned." He picked up the folded parchment and handed it to her. It was sealed with a blob of wax. As she flipped it in her hands and gave him a raised eyebrow, he said, "If we haven't returned in two months' time, Aveline has orders to put you on a ship to Denerim in Ferelden. Once you are there, you are to go to the Palace and do whatever is necessary to gain a meeting with the Queen."

At the word 'Queen', her mouth fell open and she started to say, "Wait…" He held up a hand and said, "Let me finish."

Her mouth snapped shut and she stared at him. He waited a moment to make sure she would stay quiet, then said, "Not only is she the Queen, she is also the Commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. The same Commander that recruited me and was always a good friend as well. Give her that letter, and things will be taken care of and done."

Bailey stared at him for a moment then said, "Things taken care of? You mean me, don't you?"

"Yes. It will give me peace while I'm in the Deep Roads knowing that should the worst happen to me, you will be safe. And when I say taken care of, I simply mean that she might find a place for you to work, or financially back your own shop until you repay the loan. I don't mean that you would live in the palace and be a lady in waiting or whatever. Carlina isn't a typical Queen. In fact, you and she would probably get along quite well."

Bailey leaned back in her chair and tapped the paper against the palm of her hand. "What if she doesn't believe that you sent me?"

Anders thought about it for a moment, then smirked. "Tell her that I found the decent meals and pretty girl, at least."

Bailey felt her lips twitch and she said quietly, "You…think I'm pretty?"

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. His eyes traveled over her face, taking in the way her hair fell over her forehead, the way her eyebrows were currently drawn together, causing a little wrinkle between them; the way her eyes sparkled no matter what time of the day it was, and how she liked to chew on her bottom lip when she was nervous. His voice was low as he replied, "Bailey, I think you have the most beautiful soul I've ever seen, and that makes you very pretty indeed."

Bailey shifted in her seat, sudden heat blooming on her cheeks. She had never felt comfortable with such compliments like that. Anders continued to gaze at her, his eyes seeming to drink her in while a soft smile touched his lips. They stared at each other, both afraid to say anything, for fear of what sound might do to the mood in the room. Several moments passed before Bailey broke it and said, "Don't move. I have something for you."

She left her chair, went back to her room and returned only a few moments later. She stood in front of him and held out her hand. He opened his and she dropped something into it. He turned his hand toward the light and saw a carved wooden pendant, about the size of a sovereign. The wood was a deep reddish tone, mixed with thin strips of white. The design was an interwoven knot, like a cross with equal length arms, and the sight of it tugged on something in his brain. He looked up at Bailey as she said, "I hope you like it. I carved it from a piece of cedar and I had it enchanted today with a rune of protection."

"Is that why you had to leave this afternoon?"

She nodded and he examined it closer. "I've seen this design before…now where…" It suddenly hit him and he grabbed her left arm, peering at the tattoo on her wrist. He looked up at her and she shrugged meekly.

"It has special meaning to me. Each arm of the cross stands for a virtue. Humility, kindness, patience, and charity. The values instilled into me by my grandmother and parents, and the same ones that I see you practice every day in this clinic. I wanted you to have something special to me, so…"

He stood suddenly and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you, Bailey. I can't even begin to tell you what you have meant to me this past year." He pulled back to look down into her face and bent to press a kiss to her forehead. He let his lips linger against her skin, committing to memory the warmth and smell of her and how it felt to have her hands resting lightly against his chest. He savored the sensations for a moment longer, then pushed them into that area of his mind that held his dearest memories. He didn't even realize he'd closed his eyes until he pulled his head back and they opened.

Bailey gazed up at him, feeling slightly dazed from the soft pressure of his mouth and the intimacy of the gesture. Sure, he'd kissed her in that same spot several times over the past year, but this one had felt…different. She swallowed and darted her tongue over her lips, her mouth open slightly. She watched his eyes flick down to her lips and darken to a deep honey gold color. Her stomach fluttered and she turned her eyes downward to nervously stare at her hands, her fingers curled and almost gripping the soft fabric of his shirt.

Anders gazed down at the top of her head and lifted a hand to cradle her cheek against his palm. His voice was barely above a whisper as he said her name, his thumb tracing over her cheek. His whole body burned with a yearning so intense that when she did turn her eyes back up to meet his, it was like being hit with a holy smite. His limbs went numb, his heart sped up and he couldn't see or think very clearly. Only the gentle pressure of her hands pressing against his chest, pushing him ever so slightly away from her gave him any indication that he had pulled her closer. His first reaction to what he viewed as her rejection was pain and anger, followed closely by a misplaced horror of what he had almost let himself do to her. He blinked his eyes, forcing his vision to clear and looked down at her face, only a few inches away from his own.

Bailey gazed up at him, her hands applying a steady pressure against his chest, holding him away from her. It wasn't because she didn't want him that close; far from it. She wanted it with every trembling fiber of her being, but she also knew that he would absolutely hate himself for losing his hard won self-control. She gave him a small smile, bit her bottom lip and then quietly said, "I think we'd best get some sleep. Morning will be here before we both know it."

He reluctantly let his arms fall from around her and took a half step back. He cleared his throat and said, just as quietly, "You are probably right. Hol…Bartrand wants to leave at dawn, or just thereafter."

They gazed at each other, the atmosphere around them almost buzzing with unsaid words. He gulped and opened his mouth. "Bai…"

His words were suddenly cut off as her hands, still lying against his chest, gripped his shirt and pulled him forward. Her lips touched his in a kiss so soft and quick he might have imagined it, had it not been for the heat that suddenly scorched his body. Just as quickly, she let go of his shirt and stepped away from him, her mouth barely curved upward in a nervous smile.

"Good night, Anders." She forced her feet to turn and walk into her sleeping area. She calmly pulled the curtains closed behind her, slipped off her shoes, and sat down on the edge of the bed. Then she fell sideways onto it, her head hitting the pillow, legs pulled up in a fetal position, and arms crossed over her chest as if the mere action could stop her heart from shattering. Tears flowed over her cheeks as she quietly sobbed into the pillow. What had she been thinking, kissing him like that? _'You know why you did it. If something does happen to him, you wanted at least that much of him.'_ She couldn't deny her inner voice and cried just a bit harder, not knowing what was worse. To have not done it and wonder, or to do it and always have the memory of his lips against hers, with the possibility that it would never happen again?

Anders stood there for a moment, watching her walk away from him. His lips tingled and he had to let out a shuddery breath as he willed his heart to stop pounding. He inhaled deeply and started to rake his shaking hand through his hair, only to realize the amulet she had given him was still clutched in his hand. He gazed at it and finally draped the cord over his head. The pendant fell perfectly over his heart, and he couldn't help thinking that it was the perfect spot for its protection to lay. _'Stop this nonsense now before we irrevocably hurt her. 'Tis foolish to think that we can be the man she deserves. We have more pressing matters, anyway.'_ He growled internally to stop the thoughts and gazed at her curtains for another moment, then extinguished the lantern and went to find his own bed. Sleep was slow in coming that night.

* * *

_Author's note: a huge THANK YOU to two of my readers, Cowoline and Musicalrain, for their help and input on this chapter. The original ending bothered me so terribly, I literally couldn't move forward with the story. Their advice and insight helped me to produce this lovely bit, and I just wanted to acknowledge them. Both of them are great writers, too! Go check out their stuff!_


	15. Betrayals

_**Inside the Deep Roads…**_

"Bartrand! You nug-humping weasel! Get back here and open this door!"

Varric had been yelling through the door for a solid minute. Anders sat on the steps that led up to the altar and rubbed his forehead. _'Backstabbing dwarf! We will find him and have Justice for this!'_ He winced and felt his head start to pound.

Hollie looked from Varric, to Anders, and finally at Carver. She took a deep breath and said, "Varric! He's gone. Let's see if there might be a hidden switch or something."

Varric swung his head up to her, his eyes flashing with anger. "Fine. You take that corner, I'll take this one." He moved to his right and began searching the walls. Hollie moved left and did the same.

Anders watched for a moment, then turned to look at Carver. "Come on. You and I can look for another way out of here." He stood and the boy gave him a glare, although not as heated as it once would have been. As he moved back toward the altar where they had found that lyrium idol, he heard the scuff of Carver's boots moving against the dirt covered stone.

He glanced over his shoulder and said, "I'll take this side. Will you search that side? We can work our way around to meet in the middle."

Carver merely grunted and moved to the side of the room Anders had indicated. Anders watched him for a moment, wondering why the lad wasn't giving him one of his usual snarky comments. He then shook his head and began searching for a crack or switch or something that would get them out of this room.

He should have known something like this would happen. Oh, the trip to the entrance was uneventful; dull, even. But once inside, they had been faced with a cave in along their chosen route. Bartrand had lost his temper completely, until Hollie stepped in and "volunteered" her party to scout out an alternate route. Anders snorted softly as his hands continued looking for any carving that might be out of place. That alternate route had involved darkspawn, demons, giant spiders, an ogre, and to top it off, a dragon and several dragonlings. _'And let's not forget we had to find the merchant's son along the way,'_ he thought irritably.

Sure, they had done the hard part, and then Bartrand just pushed through like it had been no big deal. But, even Anders had to admit (grudgingly) that the thaig they had found was like nothing he'd ever read about or heard any of the other Wardens talk about. They were a week below the surface; he shuddered a little as he tried not to think about that much rock and dirt above his head. He was jerked out of his thoughts by the sound of Carver's voice.

"Hey, I think I found a door back here!" Carver called out, his hands tracing out what did indeed look like the outline of a door. He pulled his dagger out and started cleaning the dirt out of the crack.

Varric's head jerked around and he ran to the back of the room, Hollie close behind him. "Hey, Junior! I think you did! Good job!"

Carver let his lips creep up into a half smile and Hollie threw her arms around his shoulders. "I knew I was right to bring you along with us."

Between the four of them, they were finally able to push it open, only to find themselves in yet another long corridor that was common in the Deep Roads. Varric could be heard muttering, "I swear I'm going to find that son of a bitch – sorry, mother – and _kill_ him! I can't believe he would screw me over for a lousy idol."

"Well, even you have to admit it was like nothing any of us have ever seen," Hollie said.

"Yeah, but would you be greedy enough to kill Carver for it?"

"No. But I wonder, why was it left lying about like that? And on what looked like an altar?"

Anders spoke up and said, "It didn't look like any lyrium I've ever seen. And did any of you notice how…well, _creepy_ Bartrand was talking?"

Varric stopped and scratched at his jaw. "Now that you mention it, Blondie. Yeah, he didn't sound like his usual sweet self."

Carver snorted and said, "Great. Demons, darkspawn, evil idols of lyrium. What else are we going to find down here? I mean, could it get any worse?"

Varric looked up at him and threw his hands up. "Did you have to say that?"

"Say what?" Carver looked confused.

"You asked if it could get any worse. That's just another way of saying what could possibly go wrong?"

Hollie looked at all of them and rolled her eyes at Anders. "Come on. We're wasting time by just standing here. Bartrand may have gotten that idol, but we might find something else worth our time as we go."

They reached a T shaped intersection and voted to head to the left and the door that was there. When they opened it, inky black shadows slithered across the floor and solidified into several shades. And just to make it more interesting, a large stone Golem sprang to life and began throwing boulders at them. Anders immediately cast a spell to harden his skin into a rock like substance while casting a freezing spell upon several of the shades. Carver swung his large two-handed sword from his back and charged toward the Golem. Hollie was all over the room, swinging her daggers and tossing smoke bombs, disappearing and reappearing on the other side of the room. Varric started humming and firing bolts from Bianca, some of them even bursting into flames for a short period.

Five minutes later, Anders was using his staff as a focusing rod to shoot bolts of pure spirit energy at a rage demon that was sneaking up behind Carver while simultaneously digging into the pouch on his left hip for one of Bailey's lyrium potions when Hollie suddenly yelled at him to duck. He did so and one of her daggers went sailing over his head. He jerked his head around in time to see it puncture the eye socket of another shade that had suddenly manifested behind him. He gave Hollie a quick nod of thanks, popped the cork out of the potion bottle and drank it, then returned to shooting bolts of lightning around himself.

Varric got the final shot on the last shade a few minutes later. They all stood there, panting and taking stock of any injuries. Hollie had a few scrapes along her arm and Carver had one on his abdomen. Varric was okay, and was circling the room, retrieving the bolts for Bianca. Anders did a quick heal on the two siblings, and then noticed something shining in the corner of the room. He jerked his chin toward it and asked Hollie, "Were those here before the fight?"

Hollie turned to look and gasped. Four chests now stood in the room, two in each corner. "No, they weren't. Hey, Varric," she called. "Check those two near you. We might find something good in here."

Between the two chests, they found close to 20 sovereigns, an ancient bow, a couple of amulets and rings, and what looked like an old leather belt. Anders examined the amulets, rings, and belt and found they were all enchanted. Carver took the belt and Hollie dropped the jewelry into one of her pouches. The wood of the bow was brittle, so they left it behind. The money was split between the four of them and they left the room behind.

The next few hours saw them battling yet more shades and demons, but darkspawn were strangely missing. That fact caused Anders a small bit of worry. They were taking a few moments along one of the corridors to rest and sip some water. "You know, I haven't seen any darkspawn since we entered this thaig. It's…strange. I can't even sense any nearby."

"Then don't borrow trouble, Blondie. We've got enough to deal with right now."

"I'm just wondering if we are so deep even the darkspawn fear this place."

"Well, the next time we see some, why don't you ask them?"

Anders shivered. "No, thanks. I really don't want to run into anymore talking darkspawn. Once was enough for me. It's an experience that sticks with you, trust me."

Carver snorted. Anders raised an eyebrow at him and said, "You don't believe me?"

Carver shook his head. "Hollie and I both were at Ostagar. Talking darkspawn would have been there, if anywhere."

That gave Anders pause. In all the time that he had known the siblings, neither of them had mentioned their presence at Ostagar. Anders hadn't been there, having been busy planning his next (and what turned out to be his last) escape from the Circle Tower in Ferelden. But he had heard about the slaughter that took place, of course. Everyone had. It made him take a new look at Carver, and at Hollie. "These darkspawn didn't show up until six months after the archdemon had been killed, and it was in a limited region. That was when I was recruited into the Wardens. The experience was…" He groped in his mind for a word that would fully describe the horror of those days.

Hollie looked at him and cocked her head. "Nightmarish?" she supplied.

He glanced over at her and gave her a small smile. "That only touches the tip of what I saw. These demons here are _nothing_ in comparison."

The rest of the group fell silent at that, trying to comprehend what could be worse. He pushed the grisly thoughts away and leaned his head back against the wall and lifted his waterskin to his mouth again. As it touched his lips, he thought back to the morning they had left on this expedition.

_He and Bailey had risen early while the moon was still hovering above the horizon. The sky held a sort of pearly dark blue color, that sort of light that seems to happen about an hour before the sun rises. They didn't speak much, just exchanged morning greetings as each grabbed a bite to eat and some cold tea. He wanted to say something about the kiss she had given him, but instinct told him it would be best not to._

_She helped him gather his pack and made sure he had the pouch of lyrium potions she had made, plus all of the extra elfroot and healing potions Aveline had "donated". At last, the moment came for them to leave the clinic and make the trek across the city to the eastern gate. He wanted to walk slowly, to make the time that he had left with her to stretch, but she was taking quick strides. Before he was truly ready, they joined the small crowd of people gathered at the gate. It was a mix of humans and dwarfs, and his height allowed him to spot Hollie and Carver near the wall. He took Bailey's hand and began to make his way over to them._

_As he neared them, he could see an older woman with them, hugging them both closely and trembling. He could hear her telling Hollie to take care of Carver and to come home safely. Carver's arms tightened around her and his voice was low as he replied. "Mother, we'll be fine. You'll see. We need to do this, so we can get out of Uncle's house."_

"_I don't care if we ever leave there. I just want my children safe," the woman said._

_Hollie's voice was gentle. "I'll watch over him, Mother, I swear."_

_Their mother gazed at them for a moment longer, touched each of their cheeks, and then left. Anders waited a few moments before joining them. When he did, Hollie gave him a smile and said, "I'm glad you are going with us. I can't imagine going into the Deep Roads without a Warden present."_

_He had smiled and felt Bailey grip his hand for a moment before letting go of it. Before he could answer, Carver said, "Bailey. Do you have a moment?"_

_He turned his head to watch as Bailey walked a few feet away with Carver. He didn't like the way the boy was standing so close to her, his dark head bowed down and almost resting on her blonde one. He was speaking softly and fumbling at something in his hands that he passed to her. When he saw Bailey wrap her arms around his neck and gently kiss his cheek, his mind practically roared with sudden indignation. He had even taken a step towards them when he was brought back to himself by the feel of a hand on his arm. He turned to look down at Hollie's blue eyes, a question in them. She cocked a smile at him and said, "You really are a protective sort, aren't you?"_

_He shrugged and glanced back at the pair. "I don't want to see her hurt. Or used. Or taken advantage of."_

_Hollie shook her head and said, "Carver isn't like that…at least, not anymore. He's…changed over the past few months. I only noticed it myself, recently."_

_The sky was now getting the light pinkish gold tint that heralded the rising sun. He looked around and noticed the crowd was starting to congregate into two distinct groups: those that were leaving, and those that were staying. He looked down at Hollie and patted her hand. "I'll be right back. I just want to say goodbye."_

_She gave him a squeeze before letting go of his arm. He stepped away from her and towards Bailey, who was now bent over to give Varric a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well. _'She's certainly being free with her affections.'_ Again, he growled internally and waited as she turned to face him. She seemed nervous and her hands began twisting the bottom of her tunic. "I guess you're about to leave?" she said, her eyebrows raising in question._

_He nodded and said, "Yes. Bartrand is ready to find a treasure, although I don't really think he'll find much more than some abandoned thaig."_

_She nodded at him and chewed on her bottom lip. When it slid from between her teeth, the pressure she had applied to it made it look pinker and fuller than usual…so really, he couldn't help what happened next. A sudden desire welled up inside him, perhaps born of his emotions or maybe from the possibility of the danger ahead of him. Whatever the reason, he acted upon it and ignored the sudden cry of_ 'STOP!' _in his head__. He took a step closer to her, cradled her jaw in his hands and bent his neck to press a kiss to her mouth, slightly longer than the one she had given him the night before. When he pulled his head back and looked down at her, her eyes were glassy with unshed tears and he had to blink once himself. "I will come back, I promise. Whatever I have to do, I will come back," he vowed quietly. His thumbs traced over her cheeks once, then he forced himself to turn and walk back towards the rest of the expedition group. _

_Hollie watched him walk towards them and he could see a look of concern and something like…was that envy? But she gave him a smile and said, "So, are you ready to go, An.."_

"…ders?"

He snapped back to the present when he felt his leg jostled. He looked up to see Hollie standing before him, a little smile on her face. "What? I'm sorry, I was…"

"Lost in thought? It's okay. I was just asking if you were ready to move on."

"Oh, yes. Sorry." He pushed to his feet and stretched a bit, the bones of his spine making soft popping sounds as he did so. With a sigh of relief, they started walking again. He noticed Hollie looking at him from the corner of his eye, so he turned to meet her gaze. "What?"

She shook her head and said, "You were certainly quiet for a while back there. Is everything alright? It wasn't the mention of the talking darkspawn, was it?"

"No, it wasn't that. I was actually trying to think of something more pleasant to put those thoughts out of my mind."

"Oh, and here I go, bringing them up again. Sorry."

"It's alright. I've learned to cope with the nightmares."

She was quiet for a few minutes before she asked, "So, what were you thinking about? If you don't mind me asking."

He hesitated before answering, not sure if he should tell the truth; that he was actually remembering what it had felt like to go ahead and give in to his emotions concerning a certain blond haired woman. He opted to not mention it. "I was thinking about the morning we left on this trip. Wondering what it was that your brother gave to Bailey."

Hollie glanced ahead of them where Carver was walking next to Varric. "I have no idea. In fact, I didn't even know for sure that he had any feelings at all for her. I mean, he would ask me if I had seen her, but other than that…" She shook her head.

"He would do the same with me; ask questions about her. I noticed him coming to the clinic a few times, but he never actually did anything."

"Strange kind of crush, if that was what it was."

"Indeed."

They continued on for several more steps towards a large doorway, stopping suddenly when Varric raised a hand and said, "Nobody move. And try not to make any loud noises." The dwarf moved forward carefully and knelt to the floor, running his fingers around what appeared to be a paving stone that was popped out of its place. "Ah ha," he said quietly. There was a soft popping sound and he stood up. "Booby trap. That was a pressure plate. No telling what kind of nasty surprise it would have had for us."

Anders shook his head in wonder. "How did you even see that, Varric?"

"It's simple, Blondie. I'm closer to the ground, so I notice things that don't look right."

"Ah, of course. Why didn't I think of that?"

Hollie shook her head and said, "Okay, let's move. Varric, Carver; you take the right. Anders, you and I will take the left. Let's go."

They moved forward through the doorway, and sure enough, the inky blackness that signaled more shades appeared. The fight was over just a little too quickly for Anders liking, though. "Did anyone else think that was a bit too easy?"

Carver turned his head from side to side, watching for anything else to pop out. "It was. Makes me nervous."

"Great, just what we need. A nervous fighter with a huge sword. Glad I'm close to the ground; I can duck faster."

Carver chuckled and swiped an arm toward Varric in a good natured punch. They all let out a nervous laugh before cautiously moving down the stairs before them and towards the passage they could just make out at the back of the chamber. "Shades!" Anders cried out, seeing the blackness swirling against the ground.

Again, the fight was over only moments after it began. Then the rocks around them began to shake and move, some of them flying around to form…something. The rock creatures attacked them and it took all they had to defend themselves from flying boulders and punches that felt like, well, boulders hitting them. "What are these things?" Hollie called out at Varric.

Varric fired off a volley of bolts and yelled back. "I think they are rock wraiths! Old legends from dwarven tales! I didn't think they really existed, though!"

Carver cleaved through the last one, and leaned forward on his sword, panting heavily. "They look real enough to me."

"Is everyone alright?" Anders asked. They all nodded in the affirmative, then Hollie straightened up and motioned with her head down the passage. More of the creatures attacked them as they made their way forward. They took them down and pressed forward. Finally, a deep voice called out loudly, "ENOUGH!"

They had reached an open cavern at this point and larger boulders began to form a crude body around a wispy light that vaguely resembled a skeleton. Anders studied the being for a moment and turned to Hollie in consternation. "It's a demon," he warned her, and immediately assumed a defensive stance.

The demon creature turned its head toward him and said, "Yeesss. I was drawn here by the hunger of the profane. They have lingered here for ages beyond memory, feeding on the magic stones until the need is all they know. It is a feast I would not see end."

Hollie tilted her head and said, "The lyrium? Is that what sustains them?"

The demon turned toward her and said, "I sense your desire. You wish to leave this place, but you need my aid to do so."

Anders held out a hand to her and said, "Don't listen to it. You can't bargain with a demon!"

She looked over at him, a hard look on her face. "What choice do we have? I don't want to stay trapped down here."

He stared at her, shocked that she would even consider such a thing. She turned back to the demon and said, "What do you want?"

"Very wise. There is a crypt not far from here, guarded by a creature that has confounded me for too long. Slay it, and freedom is yours." With those words, the creature fell apart and disappeared.

Anders grabbed her upper arm and spoke heatedly. "Hollie, you _can't_ make deals like that! It only opens you up to worse things!"

She snatched her arm away from him and hissed, "I want _out_ of this stinking hole, and I will do whatever I have to do. Don't like it? Then find your own way out!"

She stalked away from him, leaving him to stare after her. He felt Varric touch his arm and say quietly, "Come on, Blondie. Close your mouth before something flies into it. Maker only knows what nasty things are down here."

Anders followed along, his thoughts spinning over Hollie's actions and words. It wasn't like her; at least, not the Hollie that he knew. Or thought he knew. He passed through another door and they found themselves in another large cavern chamber. It was suddenly filled with an evil red light, and a rock creature formed before them. It was large enough that its head nearly brushed the top of the room.

Hollie and Carver rushed toward it, their blades drawn. Varric planted his feet and began firing off bolt after bolt from Bianca. Anders ran around its flank and cast a cold spell at the rock wraith, remembering the smaller ones had weakened under the ice. The creature suddenly folded itself into a ball and seemed to pulse with an angry red glow. Anders got a sick feeling in his stomach, and he cried out, "Behind the pillars! Quickly, hide!"

He dashed behind a pillar, just as the light burst from the wraith. Rocks shattered to each side of him, but the pillar at his back shielded him from damage. The light faded and he peeked around, seeing what looked like a pile of rocks with a glowing red center. He shot off a fireball toward it, and saw Carver and Hollie hacking away at it with their blades, while Varric shot more bolts towards it. The creature suddenly reformed, and shades appeared beside it. _'Oh, great. Just what we need. More shades,'_ Anders thought sourly. The shades went down easily enough, but they caused just enough distraction that the group almost didn't notice the creature had folded itself into a ball again and was beginning to pulse with that light. They barely made it behind the pillar, Carver getting hit with a short pulse of the light. He cried out, and Anders sent a spell of healing towards him. He hoped it landed; it was the best he could do until this thing was dead.

The fight went on in that same routine; they would hit it, it would begin to pulse, they would hide while it shot out that light. Finally, the thing seemed to collapse, and Hollie jumped up onto what would have been its back and shoved one of her daggers down into the glowing red light. It fell apart beneath her, and she dived into a rolling tumble to get clear of the now dormant boulders. She brushed herself off and looked towards them. "What?" she said, giving them a shrug.

Varric just shook his head and they all wandered toward the back of the chamber, curious to see what the wraith had been guarding. Varric let out a low whistle when he saw the stacks of chests, gold coins, and other various bits of treasure. "Would you look at that? That thing was guarding a hoard! Come on; let's see what we can find."

A scrapping sound came from behind them, followed by the low voice of the hunger demon. "That is not yours. The key you require is in the chest. Leave all else, for it is minor."

Varric leaned towards Hollie and whispered, "Not to point out the obvious, but can you imagine what all this stuff would be worth on the surface?"

The demon must have heard him, because it shouted, "You will not! It is mine, all of it! Take only the key, or I shall destroy you!"

Hollie sighed and looked at Varric. "You mind?"

Varric gave her a smirk. "My pleasure." He swung his crossbow off of his back and said, "Bianca says the treasure is ours!" He fired one bolt and the demon dissolved before their eyes.

Hollie turned toward Anders and said, "You should learn to trust me. I knew it would show up. I had no intention of letting that thing live."

Anders narrowed his eyes at her and said, "You could have told me that was your intention instead of snapping my head off."

She just shrugged and said, "Let's see if we can find that key."

After digging through several chests, they had found not only the key, but some armor pieces and a mage's staff. Varric took it and examined it, finally finding a mark on it near one end. "House Valdasine! They were an ancient mining house that supplied lyrium to the entire dwarven kingdom!" He looked around and said, "This must be their thaig. No wonder there was so much lyrium here. And that idol…it makes sense."

Anders took the staff and examined it. "This metal looks like lyrium. What happened to House Valdasine, Varric?"

"According to some of the Shapers, they closed the doors to their thaig and spoke to no one. And I mean _no one_. Not the king, their patrons, not even a Paragon. When the doors finally opened again, the entire thaig was empty. But there were no bodies. It was like they just…disappeared. The only thing that was left…" He turned to look at Anders. "Was a magical staff of strange metal."

Anders looked at the staff in his hands, suddenly unsure that holding it was a smart thing to do. He channeled a small bit of magic into it and was shocked at the power it held. He looked up at Hollie and she gestured at it. "Why don't you keep it? I know it will be used for good things in your hands. Better you than it getting sold to someone that would use it for other purposes."

He swallowed and nodded. "Thank you. I…Maker's breath! The power of this staff is unbelievable!"

She laughed and they continued searching the chests for small items that could be brought to the surface as examples of the treasure. When they finally found enough, Hollie straightened and said, "Let's find that door. I'm ready to go topside."

* * *

_Yeah, I updated a bit early this week. I'm in a good mood, though, since I finally landed a job after looking for 2.5 years. A career type job, at that. So, I thought I'd share the happiness with my readers, since you all are so awesome! :-D_


	16. Meanwhile, in Kirkwall

_**Meanwhile, in Kirkwall…**_

_Fantastic Journey_

_The Journal of Bailey Watson, Volume 4_

_Okay, so, it might seem a bit pretentious to give my journal a name and volume numbers, but if I ever make it back home…my fortune as a writer will be made._

_Today's date is Drakonis 14…at least I think. Hell, I've been here a year and I still haven't figured out the calendar. Winter comes in the freaking middle of the year to me (that whole 'southern hemisphere' thing), but they celebrate the New Year and another holiday called Wintersend at that time. I suppose I just need to start thinking in terms of seasons instead of months. Anyway, it's the 3__rd__ month of the year, which would make it March to me._

_I just read what I wrote and realized I babble in my own journals. Huh._

_Anyway…Anders left on that damn expedition this morning. I'm afraid I couldn't say much to him before he left. I think I said all I needed to last night when I kissed him. It wasn't a 'gonna suck your face off' kind of kiss, though. Just…a peck, really. Lasted all of about 1 second, but I wasn't timing it. Really. But I digress. I helped get his last minute stuff and made sure he packed those lyrium potions. I swear, if I find out that he collapsed, I will beat him with my potion spoon._

_I guess the most surprising thing that happened this morning was Carver. After he had bid his mother goodbye, he pulled me aside and told me that he would try to bring some little something back for me. I tried to tell him that wasn't necessary, but then he managed to shock me speechless. He started fumbling with a piece of cloth that he had pulled from his pouch and when he unfolded it, inside was a braided leather bracelet with a small silver arrow forming the clasp that kept it closed. He said something about seeing it in some shop somewhere and it had made him think of me. I didn't know what to say. So I just simply hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. I think the poor boy might be sweet on me, which is extremely flattering but, he's so much younger than me. Not cougar territory, but darn close to it._

_I was saying goodbye to Varric and telling him to be careful when Anders came to tell me goodbye. It was almost dawn, and I knew that was when they were leaving. And then, I got yet another shocked speechless moment. Anders kissed me. Again, there was no clashing of teeth or tongues, but his kiss was longer than the one I gave him. I know why I kissed him; but now I wonder what his reason was. And the way he held me and promised to come back…my heart starts to pound just thinking about it. To use the vernacular of this world…Maker's breath, but that man makes my insides quiver. But at the same time, I can't let myself give in to these feelings I have for him. I won't put him into that position. But there are so many more fun positions I'd rather put him into anyway._

_Stop it, Bailey. Can't think like that._

_**Drakonis (March) 18**_

_I had a rather interesting conversation with Sebastian today. He wanted to know more about my religion…the one he'd never heard of before. So, I asked him what he wanted to know. He told me to start at the beginning. So I did. I told him the story of creation, of the first man and woman, and how some of the angels were jealous of God's adoration of these humans, and how some of them began a war and how those angels were cast out of Heaven. Sebastian's reaction was not what I expected, I have to admit. He took it all in, and then asked me if I had heard of the Fade. I've heard Anders talk about it, and of course, I know Justice is from there, so I just told him yes. He then went on to explain that the Fade was the first world created by the Maker and that the spirits therein were his first Children, created in his image…okay, sounds familiar. He then went on to tell me that the Maker soon turned away from them because they lacked the ability to create. So he made Thedas. The spirits of the Fade could see the human children of the Maker and became jealous, causing some of them to become demons…_

_Okay. I'm sure you get the theme here. _

_Anyway, what he and I discovered today is that there are quite a few similarities between mine and his beliefs. Aside from the fact that the Chantry believes magic is a curse and therefore, all mages should be locked away for the safety of all people…you know, kind of like the internment camps back in World War 2. Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but from my perspective, it sort of feels that way. I'm sure some of the mages in those Circles are perfectly happy to be there, but then there are the ones like Anders. I just can't picture him living his entire life locked away, only let out into the world with armed guards, like he's some dangerous criminal. Hannibal Lector comes to mind._

_Of course, I didn't say any of this to Sebastian today. But I do find the similarities of our religions fascinating. I may have to read up on the history of the Chantry. Hey, doesn't hurt to know all you can about the people trying to oppress someone you care about, right?_

_**Drakonis 22**_

_Dear God in Heaven, what have I done?_

_I taught Isabela poker this evening. As if she didn't have enough card games to cheat at. Luckily, I was able to win the first few hands, until she picked up the flow of the game. Poor Merrill never saw it coming. And don't get me started on Fenris. If that man had glowered any more tonight, his face would have become stuck in a permanent scowl. Good thing we were only playing with coppers…for now. I shudder to think what would have happened if the stakes had been bigger._

_He's been gone for a week. I think I remember him saying the entrance they were using was about a week's journey from here…so he's probably somewhere beneath the earth tonight._

_God above, Maker, Creator, however you like to be addressed in this world…please watch over him. I really don't want to go to Denerim. I've worked too hard to build a life here._

_**Drakorch 26 or 27 I think**_

_Toooooo drunk to __right__. write. Whatever. Isabela is evil. I heart her. __Foor__ Footrubs at the Rose are goooood. Going to sleep in Varric's bed now. Jealous crossbow be damned!_

_**Drakonis 28**_

_Please don't ask me to elaborate on last night's entry. I think it says enough that Isabela and the Rose were involved. Ugh, my head is still pounding a little. I don't know how that woman does it._

_I did have the weirdest dream last night, though. Or maybe it was early this morning. Anyway, I was in this weird place. Everything looked like it was covered in some mist or fog and the air kind of shimmered…like heat waves off of a blacktop road in the middle of summer in the Deep South. But it wasn't hot. It wasn't cold, either. There wasn't really a wind, but some of the plants kind of bent over like there was one. Anyway, I started walking down this path and went inside what looked like a cave, but found myself instead in a room. It was glowing with a strange reddish light and everything was very angular. But the most important part of this dream was that Anders was in this room. So were Varric, Hollie, and Carver. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but Varric looked extremely pissed off. Like, close to breaking someone's leg kind of pissed off. Hollie did, too, come to think of it. Carver looked a little pale and sort of translucent, and Anders just looked like he was in pain. Then the room faded and I guess I went into a deeper sleep, because I don't remember anything else until I woke up. I'm glad Varric's bed is so close to the floor, let me just say that right now. I didn't fall very far when I rolled off the side._

_Sebastian even took pity on me this morning. The sounds of the bowstrings snapping and the arrows hitting the targets was just too much. So we just sat and talked. He told me about his grandfather and I told him about my grandmother. It's kind of funny how we were both taught something by a grandparent that has helped to shape us into the people we are today. He's really not that bad of a guy…for a Chantry boy. And that accent…oh, good lord. It leaves my ears happy for hours. The way he rolls his Rs really shouldn't make me think certain things about his tongue, though. Hey, I may be crazy about a certain mage, but I can still appreciate the fine workmanship of a good looking man. _

_Mmm. For some reason, I just remembered that Bela told me she remembered Anders from a brothel in Denerim, because he has some kind of lightning trick that was very nice. Not really sure how I feel about that…her knowing about his trick, I mean. Oh…lightning and rolling Rs… _

_Okay, time for a cool drink, I think. Or maybe a dunk into the ocean. Maybe I could get Merrill to freeze some water into a block of ice for me…_

Almost_ desperate enough to visit the Rose for more than a footrub. What? Don't judge me. It's been way over a year since..._

_Oh god. I hope Isabela never finds this journal. I'd be hogtied and physically dragged through Hightown to the door of the Rose. And I can only imagine what services she'd order for me in that place. Wait. Never mind. I don't want to imagine._

_Still…rolling Rs. Lightning. *shiver* _

_**Cloudreach 1**_

_I love the name of this month. It would be equivalent to April for me, but 'Cloudreach' just sounds so pretty. I think there is another name…let me see. Yes. Eluviesta. That sounds pretty, too._

_Nothing really interesting happened today…unless you count the fact that my kitchen now has a real fireplace, with pot hooks and everything. I even paid extra to have a bread oven attached to it. I cannot even begin to express the joy I feel in having a place to do my own baking. It's going to open up whole new food options for me now. Oh, cookies. I can bake cookies for our young patients! *happy dance* Anders will be very happily surprised, I think. Now if I only had a refrigerator. I wonder if I can figure out how those old iceboxes worked. Something to consider for the future, at least._

_Speaking of other changes, Althea and I have been busy in the clinic. We finally got the enclosed room near my sleeping area thoroughly cleaned and the floorboards laid. We were able to move the medicine cabinet, my drying rack and work table into it. Her father built us an additional shelf unit for more storage. I think it will make a wonderful workroom. The other small room has officially become the bathing chamber. Another thing that I think Anders will like._

_I miss our chats in the evenings. Believe it or not, it's too quiet here at the Hanged Man sometimes._

_**Cloudreach 5**_

_Another strange dream last night. I saw Hollie, Varric, and Anders gathered around Carver and they looked pretty damn upset. Carver was pale and sweaty and looking a bit gray. It frightened me so much I woke right up. I was afraid to go back to sleep for a while._

_I have a horrible feeling that something has gone terribly wrong. I didn't see anyone else except those four. That doesn't feel right at all._

_**Cloudreach 9**_

_Started out as just another ordinary day. I got up, had breakfast, met Sebastian for archery practice. I'm having less trouble pulling the string on the new bow, and he says that my form is nearly perfect now. I am hitting the target in the spot I aim for now, at least. He's spoken of us perhaps heading to the meadows one morning to put my skills to the test with a hunt for some small game. I'm all for that. Now excuse me while I drift into a lovely mental scenario of me and him alone, in a meadow full of flowers…just me, him and his rolling Rs._

_Okay, enough of that. Anyway, I swung by Sasha's to pick up the profits from the week. My two scents a month idea has been paying off for us in a big way. Apparently, the women love the scents I've created for their menfolk. And another drawing sold. With the profits, I was able to purchase some ingredients I needed, because I was determined to bake some oatmeal cookies today. I burned only the first dozen, so I was rather proud of that._

_The day turned into not so ordinary this afternoon…and it only took 4 words from Althea to do so. _

_I was tending to one of our younger patients. He'd dislocated his shoulder while playing with some of the older boys. Lord, I really hate when something like that happens to a child. I've seen grown men cry when I've had to push them back into place, so it was double hard to do it with a boy. Anyway, I got his arm up in a sling and was telling him that he had to keep it bound up for at least a day, maybe two, so it could heal. I had just handed him one of my oatmeal cookies when I suddenly heard the 4 words from my apprentice._

"_Master Anders! You're back!"_

_Up until that point, those were possibly the most beautiful words I'd ever heard…until I hugged him and heard him murmur 7 even more beautiful words._

_No, I'm not telling you right now. At the moment, they are far too precious to me to share with everyone. Maybe one day I'll reveal them…but not right now. Right now, I just want to hold them in my heart._

_Anders…my Anders is back home. I think I'll tie him down so he can't leave like that again._

_Yeah…that's the reason._

_We haven't spoken yet about what happened. He's exhausted and is sleeping quite soundly in his own bed with a full stomach. I think I'll even let him sleep in tomorrow morning._

* * *

_Author's note: Yeah, kind of a short chapter compared to the last few, but hopefully lets you know what was happening with Bailey while Anders was gone. As for what he told her...remember, it was 7 words. I'd love to see what you think it is!_


	17. Partings and Reunions

_**Back in the Deep Roads…**_

The door was not too far away from the cache, but it took a bit of pushing from all of them to get it open. As it finally swung open, Varric said, "Mmm. I'd say this is our way back."

Hollie looked down at him and said, "How long do you think it will take?"

"If we're unlucky, maybe a week."

"And if we're lucky?"

Varric turned his head up to her, his eyes hard and cold. "We stumble over Bartrand's corpse on the way. Come on; let's go."

They began walking, always taking a path that led upward. They ran into more of the shades, demons, and profanes along the way. After a few days, the packs of travel rations ran out. They stumbled upon some mushrooms and roasted them. Anders was able to provide water for them by freezing the air and then heating it to melting, otherwise they would have dehydrated. On the fifth day, they crawled through an opening at a cave in and found themselves in an area that was familiar. "We're back where we started! And in only 5 days, too. Not bad," Varric said.

Carver, who was bringing up the rear, said softly, "Could we…take a break? I feel…wrong."

Hollie said over her shoulder, "Sure. We can set up camp if you aren't feeling well."

Varric said, "I'll wager it was those deep mushrooms we found."

Anders turned to look at the boy and saw him fall to his knees. "Hollie!" he cried. She turned and ran to Carver's side, holding him in her arms.

"Do something! Heal him!" she almost shouted at Anders.

Anders stood there and closed his eyes, looking at Carver through his Healer's sight. He opened his eyes and slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's the blight. I can sense it."

She stared at him, stricken. Carver coughed and said, "Just like Wesley, Aveline's husband. I'll be just as dead…just as gone."

"No, you won't! I won't let that happen!" She looked up at Anders and pleaded with her eyes for him to do something.

He sighed and said, "There might be something we can do. I stole the maps from a Warden that had come to Kirkwall. I wanted to know if he was looking for me. The maps were for planning their own expedition into the Deep Roads. If they are here, I would know where. We could bring Carver to them."

"Is joining the Grey Wardens a cure?"

He hesitated. "Yes, I suppose it is. But it's not without a price - one not everyone is willing to pay."

"What price? Tell me!"

"The process of becoming a Warden is...unpleasant. And irreversible. It also means you might never see your brother again. He might survive the blight, but at the cost of becoming a Grey Warden. It's not an easy life. Trust me."

"You aren't a Warden anymore! Maybe Carver could do the same!"

He stared at her and shook his head sadly. "You think I got away? Eventually, they or the Circle will drag me back. I've got no illusions about that. And if they don't…well, let's just say the Wardens are assured as to the manner in which they will die."

She stared at him and narrowed her eyes. "Even if there is a small chance, we have to take it."

Anders met her gaze and lifted his hands in defeat. "Then I hope I'm right." He moved forward to support Carver and indicated that they should head to the left.

Carver did his best to support himself, but his steps were slow. He turned his head to look at Anders and said, "Is it really so bad?"

Anders stared straight ahead and quietly said, "I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But dying from the blight is a worse fate."

Carver thought about that and cursed under his breath. Anders glanced at him and Carver gave him a half smile. "I just realized this means I'll be breaking a promise I made."

Anders cocked his head in curiosity and he felt the boy's shoulder lift in a shrug. "I promised Bailey I'd bring something back for her. And…this means I can't be there as her protector anymore."

Anders felt his mouth open a bit in surprise, but he snapped it shut. "What you do mean?"

"I mean, who do you think has been watching out for her when she's gone off on her own? It's not exactly a secret that she runs that clinic with you, you know. The Coterie and Templars could just as easily snag her to get to you." Carver turned fever glazed eyes at him and smirked. "Never thought of that, did you?"

"I…no, I hadn't." He gave the boy a grateful smile. "Thank you, Carver."

"I did it for her. She's too trusting in some ways. Might get her hurt one day." He gripped Anders' shoulder and growled. "Don't you _dare_ let anything happen to her, or I swear I will find you, mage."

Anders stared at him and nodded. "I believe you. I swear to you, I will do all in my power to keep her safe. Your sister as well."

Carver stared at him, his jaw set. He finally nodded once and said, "See that you do."

They dragged forward a few more yards, approaching a T intersection. Anders stopped and made a small sound under his breath, looking both directions. Hollie looked at him and said, "What is it?"

"I think the Wardens are nearby." He gently lowered Carver to the ground and straightened, focusing on that sense of presence the Wardens had gifted to him. He stood suddenly and grabbed at his staff. "Or, it could be darkspawn!"

From out of the darkness hurtled several darkspawn. "Andraste's ass, I hate these things!" he cried out, over the sound of growling and Varric's crossbow. Luckily, it was a small group, and the fight was over quickly, especially as a group of Wardens showed up from the other direction to wipe out the last of the stragglers.

Anders leaned on his staff and looked over at the Warden leading the group. "Stroud! Fancy meeting you here."

Stroud looked over at him and wiped a hand across his face. "Anders. I could say the same about you. Thought you were through fighting darkspawn."

Anders sighed and shook his head. "I'm actually not here to fight the darkspawn." He turned and gestured at Carver, who was now being held up on Hollie's shoulder.

Stroud looked at Carver, then back to Anders. Sudden understanding made him shake his head. "You mean the boy as a recruit? Of course you do." He then turned to address Hollie. "I'm sorry. I know this comes as no comfort to you, but we do not recruit Grey Wardens out of pity. It is no kindness."

Hollie glared at Stroud. "No pity required. Carver is a fine swordsman and warrior. He's had training, and would make a fine Grey Warden."

"Stroud, trust me when I say this one is worth your time. With the Blight over, you Wardens don't have recruits lining up."

Stroud swiveled his gaze between the two of them, then finally said, "Alright. If the boy comes, he comes now, and you may not see him again. Being a Grey Warden is not a cure. It is a calling."

Carver turned his head to look at Hollie. "Are you sure about this?"

Hollie stared at him, the shine of tears evident in her eyes. "I'm not sure about anything, but I want you to live, little brother."

Stroud turned to speak to the other Wardens. "We must move quickly if we are to make the surface in time."

Carver looked at Hollie and said, "I guess this is it, then. Take care of Mother." He turned to look at Anders and said, "In my pouch…the small leather wrapped object. Take it to Bailey. Tell her I'm sorry."

When Anders moved to pull the object out, Carver said quietly, "I will remember your promise. Remember mine."

"I will remember."

Two of the Wardens moved forward to take Carver's weight from Hollie, and they began to move at a quick pace. Carver glanced back once, and then they were gone. Hollie stared after him for a moment, then turned and began walking away. Anders and Varric shared a look between them and then turned to follow her. _'Strange that she shows no emotion over the loss of yet another sibling. And dealing with demons? You should watch her carefully. Something is not right.'_ Anders sighed and kept walking. He couldn't wait to get back to Kirkwall; he was going to drink a whole keg of ale and maybe even a bottle of Antivan brandy, no matter how much Justice might complain.

A half day later, they broke through the entrance into the Deep Roads and felt the warm sun touch their skin. Anders fell to his knees, his eyes closed and face turned upward, basking in the light and fresh air. "Maker's breath. I am not going back into those Deep Roads for the rest of my life," Varric said next to him.

Anders made a sound of agreement and continued to breathe in the air, tainted only with the salty smell of the sea. It was the sweetest smell he could imagine. The light pounded against his closed eyelids, then disappeared. He opened his eyes to find Hollie standing in front of him, a slight smile on her face. "You two. One would think you didn't want to get back to Kirkwall as soon as possible. Let's get moving."

Varric groaned and said longingly, "Oh, Kirkwall. Real food, real drink, and a real bed. Come on, Blondie. Get your ass moving."

Anders let out a laugh and pushed himself back to his feet, gave Varric and Hollie a grin, and began to run. "No fair, Blondie! You're taller than the rest of us!"

"You said to get my ass moving! It's moving! Can't help it if you can't keep up!" He laughed again, but stopped and sat down on a boulder to wait for them to catch up. Varric glared at him and said, "You know, Bianca is faster than you. Just remember that."

"Then why don't you use it to catch us a rabbit or a bird? Because I don't know about you two, but I am starving," Hollie said.

They slowly began making their way back to the city, stopping at a fresh water stream to refill their water skins and Anders gathered some cattail roots to bake later when they stopped to eat. Varric managed to take down a brace of conies; he tied their legs together and slung them over his shoulder. It was nearly sundown before Hollie called a halt for the night. They had just enough time to find a protected spot off the road and gather enough wood for a campfire. Soon the rabbits were on a spit across the fire and the cattail roots were stuck in the coals and roasting.

Anders was snapping branches off of a nearby pine tree when Hollie approached him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

He'd been deep in thought about her recent behavior, and spun around quickly when she spoke. He had to take a deep breath to calm himself before answering. "It's a trick I learned a long time ago, during one of my escapes from the Circle. Pine needles make decent bedding, and branches layered on a web of twigs makes a good shelter at night."

"Oh." She reached up and started helping him gather the branches. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet. "I didn't thank you for your help back there with Carver. Had you not been with us…"

He looked over at her and saw her trembling. He laid down the bundle of needles in his arms and moved to put a hand on her shoulder. She threw herself against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He swallowed and looked down at her head against his chest. For a brief moment, he wondered why her hair was black and not blonde. Then he shook his head and patted her back. "He'll be alright. Carver is stronger than he thinks. Hey, if I could survive the Joining to become a Warden…"

Hollie pulled back and looked up at him, her eyes shining brightly. "Survive? What do you mean? I thought you said the Wardens could help him."

She pulled away from him and he rubbed his forehead. "I told you the process was unpleasant. I wasn't joking, Hollie. It was the most painful thing I've ever done, and that includes my Harrowing as a mage. But, it truly is the best option for Carver's survival. As I said, he's strong. He'll be fine."

She crossed her arms over her stomach and nodded. "I hope so. It will be bad enough having to tell Mother that he's gone to join the Wardens."

Anders gazed at her and said, "Do you want me to come with you, to try to explain to your Mother why it was our only option?"

She paused for a moment and said, "Maybe after a couple of days. It might help her to understand why I made the choice. And you being a Warden and a Healer, she might take it better from you."

He nodded and they turned to gather more branches, then make their way back to Varric. The rabbits were nearly done and Varric had already rolled the roots out of the fire and onto a flat rock to cool a bit. Anders made three piles of needles before picking up one of the roots and slicing it open with the tip of his dagger. He handed it to Hollie, then picked up another one for himself. He watched as Hollie scooped out some of the pulp and ate it. She licked her lips and said, "How did you know these were edible?"

He chewed on a bit himself, swallowed, and then said, "Bailey. She showed me this trick while we were traveling together in Ferelden. Her herbal knowledge luckily extends past that of healing. You should taste the cheese she makes with garlic and lemon grass. I'll have to bring you a crock next time she makes it."

"It sounds wonderful." Hollie turned her eyes to Varric and said, "Think those rabbits are done?"

Varric cut a look at Anders that hinted at amusement then said, "I think so. Regardless, I'm ready for some meat in my stomach."

The rabbits were removed from the spit and split up between three of them. They ate with gusto, savoring the first real food they had consumed in several days. Half an hour later, there was nothing but bones left and they reclined around the fire on the beds of pine needles. "So, who gets first watch?" Varric asked.

"I'll take it," Anders said. "You two go ahead and get some sleep. Who wants second?"

Hollie said, "I'll take second tonight. We can switch up each night."

Varric said, "Sounds good to me. Wake me for third. Night, you two." With that, he rolled over away from the fire, Bianca the crossbow lying next to him.

Anders gazed at him and shook his head, smiling. He looked over at Hollie and said, "Go to sleep. I'll wake you in a few hours."

"I'm not really sleepy yet." She moved closer to him and said, "What was it like? Being part of the Wardens? I mean, you've mentioned the darkspawn and apparently, the joining wasn't great, but…all in all, was it so bad?"

Anders stared into the fire for a few moments before he answered her. "It was the first time I had felt like I was part of something bigger than myself. I can't even begin to describe how it felt to fight alongside the woman that slew an archdemon, how it felt to save Amaranthine from the darkspawn. The way those people cheered when it was clear the battle was over…"

He turned to look at her and said, "I thought I would make the Wardens my home. I wanted to. But fate or the Maker chose otherwise. So here I am."

She gazed at him and said, "What happened?"

He looked back at the fire and tossed another small piece of wood onto it. "I told you. I merged with Justice. And things went…sour, I guess is the best way to describe it." He considered how much to tell and finally decided to start at the beginning. "Justice did not enter our world willingly. He was forced out of the Fade by a woman that had succumbed to a pride demon. But Fade spirits must have a host to exist. Justice inhabited the body of a recently killed Warden. The man had been married, as well, so you can imagine the horror his wife felt upon seeing her husband like that. It upset Justice. He finally managed to get the wife to understand that he would inhabit the body only long enough to fulfill his bargain with the Commander, and then he would leave so that she might be able to lay her husband to rest."

He looked over at Hollie to see that she had her legs curled up and her head resting on her knees, listening raptly to his story. He gave her a small smile and she said, "So, is that when you and Justice made your deal?"

He nodded, and said, "Well, it came about a month after the battle at Vigil's Keep. He and I had spoken often about the plight of the mages in Thedas, and now that the Blight was truly over, he was ready to take on that challenge. So, I went with him to Amaranthine to the widow's house. He stood on her doorstep, thanked her for understanding, and left the body. I was nearby, and that was when he merged with me."

Anders thought about the initial merging and the vertigo and nausea it had caused. "Things were fine until I was called upon to give a speech at the Circle on the nature of the Architect to the mages there." He glanced at her and said, "The Architect, by the way, is a Darkspawn like I've never seen. Intelligent, capable of speech and magic, and he's the one that created the talking darkspawn. Please don't ask me how, because the very thought of it sends a shiver down my spine that takes hours to go away."

Her eyes got very wide and she simply nodded. "Note to self; never mention architecture around you."

He chuckled softly and she said, "So, what happened at the Circle?"

He shrugged and said, "I gave my speech and went back to Vigil's Keep. About a week later, some 'former' Templars arrived and said they wanted to join the Wardens, because of the things I had spoken about." His voice grew warm with anger. "As it turns out, those Templars had turned rogue and were actually set on returning me to the Circle to be made Tranquil. I found this out when they attacked me one evening."

He grew quiet for a while and Hollie simply waited for him to speak. It reminded him of how Bailey would simply listen to him when he needed to vent. He finally sighed and said, "Needless to say, Justice took offense. When I came back to myself, the carnage around me was…disturbing. And that was when I left the Wardens. Shortly after that, I heard about Karl being sent to Kirkwall, and well…you know the rest of that story."

She nodded and said, "Where does Bailey come into it?"

He gave her a little half smile and said, "I found her wandering lost along the coast in Ferelden as I was making my way to Highever to find a ship here. I was going to try to get her back home to the Anderfels, but when she saw the need for her skills, she just…stayed."

Hollie studied him for a moment and finally said, "You don't seem to mind that too much." She stretched her legs out and picked at the fabric over her knee. "I mean…the way you are so… possessive of her. And…I saw you kiss her the morning we left."

He felt heat on his cheeks and it was not from the fire. He cleared his throat and cursed inwardly as he actually stuttered when he tried to answer her unspoken question. "I…um…well…" He stopped and took a deep breath. "It is…complicated. I care for her, a great deal." He turned to look at her with an intense gaze. "But they are feelings that I cannot ever act upon, with anyone. At least, not to any serious degree. All I could do is hurt the person involved."

Hollie stared at him and quietly said, "You could never hurt me, Anders."

He shook his head and replied, "I'm not the man I was two years ago. I know you remember what happened that night in the Chantry. _That_ is who I am now. All I would do is break someone's heart. And that…that would kill me as surely as any Templar."

He could feel her eyes on him, but he refused to look at her. Finally he said, "You should get some sleep while you can. Second watch will come sooner than you think."

She continued to look at him for a moment before she moved away from him and lay down, rolling her face away from the fire. Before long, she was curled into a ball, breathing softly and steadily. Her softly spoken words had only confirmed what he had feared was happening. _'Of course, that's how it always happens. When you don't want attention, it gets heaped on you,' _he thought bitterly. Anders cursed profusely within his mind, using words that he'd only ever heard drunken sailors use. _'Such language is unseemly. Calm yourself. You were right to be truthful with her.'_ He took a long deep breath and settled in for his stretch on watch.

So they continued in the same pattern for the next few days. The three of them were able to move faster than the slower expedition caravan and made it back to Kirkwall sooner than they had calculated. As they entered the eastern gate, Varric took a big whiff of the air and said, "Home, sweet home. Finally. I wonder if Bartrand came back to the city. You think I'd be that lucky?"

Hollie turned to him and balled one fist. "Just make sure you let me know when you find him."

"Trust me, you'll be the first to know. I'm...sorry about what happened to your brother." Varric rubbed his hand over his forehead and sighed. "I should have seen Bartrand's betrayal coming. I'll find that maggot if it's the last thing I do. I imagine you'll be heading home to...tell the family?"

Hollie nodded and said, "I don't have much choice. Anders is coming over in a few days to explain the Wardens to Mother. That should help her accept it."

"Good idea." Varric started to walk away, then stopped to look at her. "You'll be a wealthy woman, Hollie. It wasn't all for nothing."

Hollie nodded, looked at Anders for a moment, and then turned to head to her uncle's house in Lowtown. Anders started to offer her an escort home, but thought she might want some solitude to plan out what she would say to her mother and uncle. Varric was heading that way anyway; he'd watch out for her. He took a deep breath and set his feet to head towards Darktown and the clinic. It was still early enough in the day that the doors would be open for patients. Maybe he'd be able to surprise Bailey with his return.

As he made his way through Darktown, he was surprised by how many of the refugees greeted him and welcomed him back. It was gratifying and touching to discover just how many of these people had welcomed him amongst them, despite his status as an apostate mage. He reached the doors of the clinic and indeed, they were standing open, welcoming any who had need of its services. He stood at the door for a moment, looking in and cataloging any differences. There were new curtains hanging in the doors of the two small rooms that were at the back of the clinic. When he had left, they had been open. What looked like a real fireplace was in the corner of the kitchen, and he noticed the medicine cabinet was no longer standing in the front corner. A long table with a chair had taken its place. All of the exam tables were in the same place, and over there…was Bailey.

He took a long moment to study her. She had her head tilted down to speak to a young patient, his left arm bound up in a sling. She was smiling at the boy and as she tilted her head down further, a lock of hair fell over her face. She lifted a hand to brush it behind her ear, her fingers lightly resting against her neck to keep the hair in place. It was an automatic gesture that he had seen her make a thousand times, but something about seeing it now made his heart pound just a bit faster. He watched as she handed a small flat cake to the boy and smile as he bit into it. He was so busy watching her, in fact, that he didn't see Althea emerge from behind one of the curtains in the back. "Master Anders! You're back!"

His eyes never left Bailey as her head jerked up at the words. His breathing hitched as her eyes found his and her face lit up in a smile brighter than the sun had been upon his re-emergence to the surface. He grinned and braced himself as she ran towards him and threw herself against him in a full body hug. As all four of her limbs snaked around him, he laughed softly and wrapped his arms around her, leaning back just a bit to counter-balance her weight. His blood raced as her lips touched his cheek and she whispered softly against his ear, "You kept your promise. You came back."

He squeezed her tightly and sighed with disappointment as he felt her legs disengage their grip on his body and she slid back down to the floor. The close contact set his body on fire, but he pulled away only enough to look down at her face, to see her eyes bright with tears and her lips curved into a smile that branded itself onto his heart. He let himself give in again and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. His eyes closed as he breathed in her scent; honeysuckle and…amber? Whatever it was, it immediately crystalized itself in his mind as the smell of _home._ He trembled as he lifted his hands to caress her cheeks and murmured, "I will always return home to you."

* * *

_Author's Note: Just in case you are curious as to how I've laid out their "home", I posted a diagram of it on my Deviant Art page. You can find me over there at caeleinDOTdeviantartDOTcom. *mutters about stupid link posting*  
_


	18. Desire Denied

When she woke the next morning, it took a few minutes for Bailey's sleep fogged mind to register that she was in her own bed in the clinic. Then she remembered that Anders was sleeping in his bed only a few feet from hers and she smiled happily. Tossing her blankets back, she slid out of her bed, pushed her feet into her soft slippers and made her way into the new bathing chamber. Morning necessities taken care of, she went into the kitchen to set a kettle of water over the fire to warm for her tea. Remembering her vow to let him sleep as late as he wanted, she made an effort to move around quietly as she gathered her breakfast. She ate quickly, wanting to get to the garden to meet Sebastian early so that she could run a few errands before coming back to the clinic. She went to dress and gather her bow and quiver, then returned to the kitchen to set the kettle on the hearth to keep the water warm. She then wrapped a few sweet buns into a cloth and left them on the table with a note for Anders laid on top. Nodding her head once in satisfaction, she left the clinic, making sure to bolt the door securely.

It was some time later that Anders awakened, warm and comfortable. He had to convince himself that he was indeed home. Luckily, it didn't take long, especially after finding the rolls that Bailey had left for him. He took his time with his breakfast, sitting at the table and looking over the new fireplace in the kitchen. It was well constructed, and it looked like the chimney had been built in such a way so as to let the smoke vent outside where the sea breezes would blow it away. There was a couple of pot hooks and what looked like two metal grid shelves on one side. Connected to it was another enclosed stone box with a half round opening; a bread oven. Anders grinned, only daring to imagine what wonderful things Bailey would be able to conjure up for their meals with the proper cooking equipment now at her disposal. He finished up the last bite of his bun and leaned back in his chair, content to just do nothing for once.

He stayed like that for a few minutes then pushed away from the table to fetch his belt pouches. He sat back down and began pulling out some of the items he'd brought back. A couple of rings, a pendant in the shape of a hammer, and a deceptively delicate belt buckle. It was a very pretty piece, engraved with loops and swirls that interlocked together. It had made him think of Bailey's tattoo and he thought she might like it.

The small leather wrapped object that Carver had made him take lay amongst the other pieces. Curious, he picked it up and began to fold open the soft leather. A brief pang of guilt for being so nosey washed through him, but he ignored it. He simply wanted to make sure that it was safe, that's all. _'Of course. And pigs can fly, too.'_ He pulled back the last flap and stared down at the item. Upon seeing it, a softly muttered, "Oh, Carver," left his lips, feeling a touch of pity for the boy. He re-wrapped the gift and set it aside with the buckle. The other things he gathered into a small bit of cloth and went to place them in his storage chest. Realizing that he still had yet to get dressed, he pulled out a clean shirt and work tunic, changed his trousers and sighed as he pulled on his socks. "Never underestimate the joy of clean socks," he almost chirped. He finished buckling his boots and then rose to wrap his belt around his waist and run a brush through his hair. He was walking out of his sleeping room, his arms lifted to pull his hair back into his customary tail when Bailey came through the front door. He looked up and gave her a smile as he finished tying the leather thong in his hair.

Bailey froze for a moment as Anders looked up and smiled at her. He was wearing his dark green work tunic; the contrast of it with his hair, combined with the smile and sparkle in his eyes nearly struck her dumb. Mentally giving herself a hard shake, she smiled back in greeting. "Did you find your breakfast alright?" she asked, walking towards her room to set aside her bow and quiver.

"Yes, I did, thank you. Did you make the rolls?" he said as she emerged from between her curtains and walked over to the kitchen, a cloth bag in her hand.

"No; I purchased those yesterday morning. Did you sleep well?" She started pulling food items out of the bag and putting them away.

He went to stand next to her and looked over what she had; a hunk of soft white cheese, a wedge of hard white cheese, a cooked chicken, some leafy greens, and a sealed bottle of thick cream. He took the cream and set it into a pail half full of water, then sent a cold spell through the water. "Like a complete rock. I think I awoke in the same position as when I lay down."

Bailey laughed lightly and moved closer to him. She shyly reached up to touch his cheek and said, "I'm just glad you returned in one piece."

He reached up to curl his fingers around hers, lowering their joined hands to his lips. He brushed a light kiss over her hand and said, "Me too."

They gazed at each other for a moment, each one wanting to say so much more than these simple phrases. Anders broke the gaze first, looking at the small calluses forming on her fingers. He frowned a tiny bit, running his thumb over them. "How is the archery going?"

She cleared her throat and pulled her hand away slowly. "I'm doing much better. The bow I got just before you left has actually helped immensely, and my instructor says that my stance has improved, along with my accuracy."

"Instructor? I wasn't aware you had hired one." A thread of something - jealousy, maybe? – snaked through him. He wasn't really sure what he was feeling, knowing that she was spending her mornings with someone he didn't know. "Was it someone Varric recommended?"

She poured herself a mug of water and sipped it before answering his question. "No. He was someone the bowyer in Hightown knew and assured me was patient and very talented."

Anders shifted back and forth on his feet, hesitant to ask his next question. "Does this instructor…know about me? About what you and I do? This clinic, I mean?"

Bailey gave him a reassuring smile. "All he knows about me is that I am an herbalist that also makes soap and bath oils. He knows that I am learning archery for self-defense because my profession sometimes finds me in not so savory places. He knows that I'm from a small village in the Anderfels, and that I'm not Andrastian. Most of the time, we discuss archery stuff. Lately, he's been teaching me how to fletch my own arrows. He also says I'm almost good enough to begin hunting small game."

As she spoke, she could see the tension leaving Anders's shoulders. She set the mug down and stepped closer to him. Laying a hand on his chest, she quietly said, "I know it's hard for you, but you've known me for a year. If you haven't figured out by now that you can trust me, then we have a bigger problem."

He looked down at her hand, her fingers curled just a little against the fabric of his tunic. It was resting right over his heart. He sighed deeply and said, "It's not you I don't trust, Bailey. It's so many other people I don't trust. I learned that lesson the hard way."

She pulled her hand away and said, "Me too. Aside from you…and maybe Varric…there is no one in this city that I don't look at with a skeptical eye." She sighed as well and turned to pick up her mug. "It's a very tiring way to live."

She sipped at her water again, and felt his hands fall onto her shoulders. She turned to look up at him, his golden brown eyes holding a hint of sad inquiry. His voice was low as he said, "Do you want to try to find a way back to your world?"

She met his gaze and a thought raced through her mind; _'Only if you come with me.'_ She had actually opened her mouth to say that, then thought better of it. Instead, she only shook her head and gave him a little smile. "Not yet. I'm not done in this one, I think."

A tightness in his chest loosened at her words and he wanted to sigh again, this time with happiness. She didn't want to leave him just yet. That was good, even though he knew it was also a bad thing. _'You are acting like a foolish boy. These feelings you have for her will only cause you heartache, nor are they conducive to our cause. Stay on task.'_ Anders wanted to scream in frustration and found himself, for the first time, trying to speak back to the spirit within him. _'How can I fight for freedom if I am never allowed to experience the things I am fighting for!'_ Of course, there was no answer; not that he expected one. He closed his eyes and dropped his chin down to his chest. His hands still rested on Bailey's shoulders; he squeezed them gently, once, then let his hands fall away from her. Searching his mind for something else to talk about, he finally gestured at the fireplace and the door curtains of the small rooms. "I see you were busy while I was gone."

Bailey brightened as she spoke. "Oh yes. Althea helped. Come on, let me show you the new storage and work room."

She took his arm and propelled him to the room near her sleeping area and tossed back the curtain. A little bit of light seeped in from the larger room, and Anders called a bit of fire to his hand. Bailey held up a lantern for him and he lit it, chuckling at the smile on her face. In the light of the lantern, he could see their medicine cabinet, along with more shelves and Bailey's work table and drying rack. He looked down to see a wooden floor and he nodded his head in approval. "This is very nice. It does clear up some of the clutter in the clinic itself."

"That was what I thought. It also keeps our medicines away from anyone who just might reach in and take what they want before seeing either us or Althea. And my herbs will dry better in a darker place."

He nodded again, remembering the herb storage at the Circle. Turning to look at her, he said, "So, if this is the work room…what did you do to the other room?"

She grinned and said, "Oh, that…I think you are really going to like it." She tossed the curtain aside and walked out.

He followed and stopped suddenly as he stepped behind the other curtain. "You made it into a bathing chamber." He looked at her and she nodded, still smiling. A grin touched his face and he went to explore. Just to the right were more curtains; upon looking behind them, he found a copper lined wooden tub, long enough to accommodate even his long legs. A small table nearby held some of Bailey's soaps and another standing rack held some lengths of linen, obviously meant to be used as towels. He examined the tub and found a small hole near one end. "Um, Bailey. This tub has a hole in it."

She laughed and said, "That's for letting the water out. Come see."

She gestured to him to follow her around to the other end of the tub. He looked at where she was pointing and saw a metal tube that extended from the tub surround, along the floor and out through the…wall? "You had the room enclosed, too."

"Yes, I'll show you that bit in a moment. Now, to plug up that hole in the tub, you use this leather plug." She picked up a tightly rolled bit of leather and pushed it into the hole. "And when you are done, just pull the plug out. The water will run through this pipe and out over the cliff face."

He nodded, remembering the same sort of set up in the bathing chambers of the Circle. "It will be nice to be able to soak in a tub again."

She smiled and said, "I made sure to get one that I thought you could be comfortable in." She turned and gestured towards the corner. A smaller fireplace was now there, and three large copper pots sat near the hearth. "I had that built so we could heat the water for our baths closer to the tub."

"Good plan. Less time for it to get cold."

"That's what I thought. Okay, let me show you this down here." She walked down to the end of the room and pulled aside yet more curtains. Behind them, he saw two…erm…necessities, separated by a wooden wall. In each stall (so to speak) was a bucket full of wood ash and a basket containing bits of cloth. He turned to look at Bailey and saw she had a slight flush on her cheeks. "The, um…holes have a sort of angled tube beneath them. Those too also go out over the cliff face. The ash and the lids are to keep the smell down and the cloths…" She stopped and put her hands on her hips. "Oh, you know what they are for! Just toss them away, because I am not cleaning them after that use!"

Anders couldn't help it; he threw back his head and laughed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, spinning her away from the toilets. She grinned and started laughing with him. As he let her slide back down to the floor, he bent and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you. We men don't often think of the little things, and you have somehow managed to turn this hovel into something that actually resembles a home." With a sudden shock, he realized that this was indeed his first _home_ that he'd had since he was a boy. Everywhere else he'd lived, it had been in a shared dormitory with other people; the Circle, the Wardens, even in the various inns and taverns he'd stayed in on his many escapes. This was the first place he could call his own. He shared it now willingly.

She looked up at him and shrugged a shoulder. "Hey, I have to live here too. I like camping and living rough, but only in short bursts. And I was getting tired of sponge baths."

He nodded and they walked back out into the main room. She moved toward the table and her eyes fell on the objects he had left lying there. "What's this?" she said, giving him a look over her shoulder.

He smiled and said, "Something I thought you'd like. And…" He hesitated. "The one in leather is from Carver."

She turned towards him, suddenly wary of the tone in his voice. "Carver? Why did he send it with you? Anders…what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath and said, "You might want to sit down." Her eyes widened and grew shiny. He cursed inwardly and said, "No! No, he's not dead. Please, sit. You need to know what happened, and…I need to talk to someone about it."

She dropped into a chair and watched as he got himself a drink before sitting. "Weren't we here almost a month ago before you left?"

Anders gave her a smile. "It does seem familiar." He twirled the mug in his hand and began speaking. He told her of Bartrand's betrayal and how they had to battle their way out of the thaig, even about Hollie making the deal with the demon. He quirked his lips as he listened to Bailey curse a few times. She finally stopped and looked at him. "So what happened then?"

"We finally found our way back to the roads where we had started." He looked down at his hands, and said, "That was when Carver…collapsed." He heard Bailey's soft intake of breath and turned his eyes back up to her. Her eyebrows were drawn together and she was chewing on her lip. He reached over and covered her hand with his own. "He'd been infected with the blight from one of our early encounters with the darkspawn. I think it was his strength and youth that kept it at bay for so long."

Bailey turned her hand over and grasped his. "What happened?"

He gave her a small smile and said, "You know those maps I had? They actually belonged to another Grey Warden named Stroud. He was an Orlesian Warden I had met at Vigil's Keep. He was on his own expedition into the Deep Roads. Do you remember what I told you about what happened to me when I joined the Wardens?"

Bailey nodded and grimaced. "Blood of darkspawn. Disgusting."

"I agree. But necessary for the Wardens. Carver was infected, but he didn't have the protection that comes along with the Joining. So, we got him to Stroud as soon as we could."

"So…you are saying that Carver has joined the Grey Wardens?"

Anders nodded. "It was the best option we had. He's a strong lad; he'll be okay. I'll let you know as soon as Hollie hears something."

She nodded and poked a finger at the leather packet in front of her. "So, he sent this to me?"

"Yes. He also wanted me to tell you that he was sorry that he wouldn't be here for your protection anymore." She turned wide eyes up to him, and he gave her a half smile. "Apparently, he shadowed you whenever you went out alone. He pointed out that the Coterie or Templars could just as easily use you to get to me."

Bailey thought about that and quietly murmured, "So that was what he meant…" She shook herself and disentangled her fingers from Anders' and pulled the wrapped package towards her. She flipped open the folds and gasped softly. To call the object a brooch was an understatement. It was a piece of artwork like she had never seen. She picked up the piece of jewelry to cradle it in the palm of her hand. The silver metal glowed softly and the jewels set into it flashed in the light. The design consisted of alternating spirals and wavy spikes, each of the spikes set with small clear stones. In the center of each spiral was a dark blue stone, and what looked like an opal was in the center of the brooch. "Oh my god," she breathed out. She looked up at Anders. "Do you see this?"

He nodded. "I peeked. I'm sorry. I wanted to make sure that it was safe before I gave it to you." He reached out and gently touched a dark stone. "That's pure lyrium. The clear stones are diamonds. And the center stone…" He looked up at her. "That's a firestone. This brooch was made for someone of a high noble house."

"And he gave it to me. Why?" She gazed at it and then looked up at him. The look he gave her was both sad and sympathetic. She shook her head in a small denial as she finally realized why he was looking at her in that way. "No. I mean, I barely ever spoke to him. That can't be why…"

He sighed and sat back in his chair. "I can only tell you what I – and Hollie – think. Why else would he take it upon himself to watch over you?"

Bailey shook her head and set the brooch back down into the leather. "I can't keep this. It's not right."

"Bailey, he sent it to you. He wanted you to have it. You don't have to wear it all the time, but you should keep it." He reached over and picked up the belt buckle. "I'm afraid my gift pales in comparison." He passed it to her and dropped it in her palm.

She traced the lines with a finger and smiled. "It's beautiful, Anders. Thank you. I'll see if Stephan will make me a belt for it." She stood and kissed his cheek, then took the brooch to her sleeping area and put it away. When she emerged again, she said, "It's time to open the clinic. Althea should be here any minute."

He nodded and pushed away from the table, then went to open the doors and light the lanterns. He saw Althea coming up the nearby stairway and greeted her. The both turned to enter the clinic and the rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of faces. Many people came by simply to tell him they were happy to see him back safe. Before he knew it, they were bidding Althea a good evening and bolting the door behind her. He sniffed the air and went back to the kitchen to discover what goodies Bailey was creating for dinner. She stood in front of the fire, briskly stirring something in a small pot. A flattened circle of dough was on the table nearby. "I don't know what that is, but it smells delicious."

She looked up and smiled. "It's a creamy cheese sauce with garlic. I'm making something special for you tonight. One of my favorite foods from my world. Could you do me a favor and tear that chicken into bite size bits and put it on that dough?"

He nodded and went to wash his hands first, remembering the first time he tried to help her cook and she yelled at him for not washing his hands first. He did as she asked and moved away as she stepped over to him. He watched as she picked up the green leaves, shook them in the pail of water to clean them, and then began to tear them apart and spread them with the chicken. When she began to drizzle the thick sauce over it all, his sense of smell went into a very happy place. Then, she grabbed the hunk of soft white cheese and cut off thin rounds, placing them on top of the other ingredients. Curious, he pinched off a piece of the cheese and tasted it. "This is really good. I don't think I've ever tasted cheese like this."

She smiled as she grabbed a long handled flat board, the kind he'd seen bakers use to put bread into their ovens. She slid it under the dough circle and said, "It's the closest I could get to a type of cheese called mozzarella. I asked the cheese maker for a soft white cheese that melted easily, but would still keep its shape somewhat." She pushed the dough into the oven and pulled the board out. "There. About 30 minute should do it."

He smiled and said, "So, does this amazing food have a name?"

She grinned and said, "We call it pizza. This particular one I'm making is chicken and spinach with alfredo sauce, but it usually has a tomato based sauce."

"And this is normal food in your world?"

She nodded. "There are so many variations on it, you could eat it three times a day for a whole week and never repeat a meal."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "If they all smell as wonderful as this one, I can see how one could eat it for a week." He stretched and said, "I'm going to put some water on to heat for a bath. I think I will try out that tub tonight."

She laughed as he walked out of the room. "You could just as easily heat the water with your magic, you know!"

His voice reached her through the curtain. "I know! But sometimes, I like to pretend I'm normal."

His words made her ache for him and she busied herself with making some tea and cleaning up her cooking mess. The rest of the cheese got wrapped and put on a shelf to be used again very soon. There was nothing left to do now but wait for the dough to finish baking. She peeked into the oven and saw the cheese was melting beautifully and the dough edge was starting to puff up. Anders came out of the bath chamber and sat down at the table. "So, I told you what happened to me. How about you? What were you up to, besides the obvious?"

Bailey busied herself pouring the hot water into the tea pot and shrugged. "Spent a lot of time with Isabela and the others. I'm afraid I taught her a new card game with which to cheat us. I took Althea on an herb gathering trip and we worked more on her reading and writing. She has started keeping her own herbal journal now, complete with drawings. I just know she will become a great herbal healer with more time and practice." She turned to put the tea pot on the table along with the honey. "That's pretty much it. It was business as usual around here, for the most part."

She went to look into the oven again and saw the edges of the pizza were puffed and golden brown. She grabbed the peel and slid it under the dough and pulled it out. With a grin, she set it on the nearby table and grabbed a knife. She quickly sliced it into wedges and placed one onto a plate, repeating the action for a second wedge. She moved to the table and set it in front of him. "You might want to let it cool for a few minutes. Burning your tongue on melted cheese isn't fun."

Anders looked down at his plate and leaned closer to inhale the aroma of cheese, garlic, and chicken. "Oh, Maker. I've died and this is my reward, I'm sure of it." He looked up as she laughed and he gave her a grin in return. He looked again at his plate and then said, confused, "And how does one go about eating this miraculous food?"

"With your hands, like so." She picked up the slice and lifted the point to her mouth, biting into it. He copied her and closed his eyes as the flavor assaulted his tongue. No more words were said as he consumed first one, then a second and a third slice. When he finally felt satiated, he leaned back and sighed.

"The only thing that could possibly follow that is a long soak. Which I think I will do." He stood and pulled his belt off, coiling it up as he walked to his sleeping area. He came out a few minutes later, his shirt off and a clean pair of trousers over his shoulder. As he passed by Bailey, he heard her hiss and then felt her hands touching his torso. He started and looked down at her, wondering what she had seen. He saw her fingers trace over a still tender scar and placed a hand over hers.

She looked up at him, her eyes suddenly filled with a worried question. "Darkspawn?"

He nodded and then quietly said, "Your amulet saved me more times than I can tell you. This injury could have been much worse, but I felt the protection flare at the same time I felt the cut." He squeezed her fingers and gave her a smile. "I told you I would come back, no matter what I had to do. I had to keep my promise to you."

She gazed up at him and swallowed hard. Biting her bottom lip, she wanted nothing more than to feel his arms around her and his lips against hers again. His eyes flicked down to her lips and she saw his nostrils flare slightly. His neck bent slightly, as if he were about to lower his head down to her, but he stopped before he did. She watched his eyes cloud with sad resignation as he pulled away from her.

Anders cleared his throat and quietly said, "I think I'll go get that bath now." His heart ached as he watched her nod and step back from him. It was only a step, but it felt like an impassable chasm. He couldn't be what she needed, but Maker, it hurt to admit it. He turned from her and forced his feet to carry him into the bathing room.

Bailey watched him walk away from her, then went into the kitchen to wrap up the last 2 slices of the pizza and clean their plates. Her eyes blurry from the tears she wouldn't allow to fall, she dashed the heel of her palm over them and berated herself. _'Stop it, you stupid idiot. You know why you can't have him. He's meant for other things, bigger things. You can't be selfish. Let him do what he needs to do.'_ She leaned forward, her hands placed on the edge of the table, eyes closed. It was getting harder and harder to heed that inner voice.


	19. Distance

Anders shifted his position, grimacing silently as a small rock dug into his left knee. He reached down and shifted the stone away as quietly as he could. A breeze lifted his hair from his neck and one of the branches of the scrubby coastal bushes he crouched amongst slapped against his upper arm. He narrowed his eyes in the dim light of the quarter moon and stared at the shadows on the nearby path, watching to see if any of them shifted to reveal a hidden enemy.

Seeing no one for the moment, he dared a glance over his shoulder to check the progress of the small landing boat that had met their group on the beach down below. It was a good fifty feet out from the shore, and the tarp covered lump in the middle was still. The ship it was approaching was another hundred or so yards away, but the two oarsmen were covering the distance fast.

This had been a rather risky and quick operation for the Underground. One of the members in his cell had received word only yesterday that another mage – a young girl, just barely a year past her Harrowing – was due to be made Tranquil within the week. Anders gritted his teeth in anger. It was against Chantry law for any Harrowed mage to be made Tranquil. He took a deep breath to steady himself and went back to watching the path.

It had been six months since he'd returned from that trip to the Deep Roads. Varric had wasted no time in finding buyers for the treasures they had found, and even Anders was seeing some profit from the trip. He had put some of it to use in the clinic, purchasing a nice stockpile of goods and materials, but the rest of it was being used to help his fellow mages in escaping from Kirkwall.

Things had been quiet in the city, at least on the surface. The Undercity, on the other hand, was staying busy. It had taken him quite some time to first make contact, then establish a trusted relationship with the Mage Underground. None of his friends had any idea that this was how he spent a lot of his late evenings and nights. A twinge of guilt went through him as he thought of Bailey being left alone in the clinic, but he was doing as he thought best. He was helping his fellow mages and…he sighed inwardly. He was trying to put some distance between himself and her. The more time he spent around her, the more he wanted to…to…

He shook his head and put the images away. It was no good thinking about it. He'd never be able to actually act on those desires. Justice wouldn't let him. _'Get your mind off of her and pay attention. You are the lookout…so look!'_ He went back to studying the shadows around him and nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand landed on his shoulder. It was followed by a soft chuckle and the sound of a woman speaking softly. "Too engrossed in paying attention to what's in front of you to look behind you?"

He gave her a glare. He didn't know her name; more protection in anonymity. But his cell leader, Samuel, said she could be trusted. She wasn't a mage, but she had family in the Circle, so she understood the dangers. Her twin dagger hilts jutted up above her shoulders and her head was covered in a deep hood. He could see a reflection of the moonlight touch her eyes. "Using your rogue trickery to sneak up on me is cheating."

"Just keeping you on your toes, mage." She looked around and he saw her twist to look over the edge of the cliff they were perched on. "The boat's against the ship now. I can see some figures moving up the boarding ladder." She turned back around. "Maker, I hope they make it."

He nodded in agreement. "Hopefully, the Templars won't think to look in Rivan. My friend said they don't have a big presence there right now."

The woman next to him nodded and stood. "Come on. We're to meet back in the cellar in an hour. Samuel said come in two by two. You don't mind if I tag along with you, do you?"

"I don't mind. The company is appreciated."

They began to make their way along the coast road towards the city and the secret tunnels that led down into the Undercity. Both were quiet for a time, until she asked, "Who did you lose?"

Anders remained silent for a moment, then answered. "His name was Karl. We were apprentices together."

He saw her head nod from the corner of his eye. When she spoke, her words were thick with sadness. "My sister. Those bastard Templars decided she was just right for a bit of sport. She was so broken afterwards that…" She drew in a choked breath, and Anders reached over to put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and gave him a half smile. "I suppose it's better that she doesn't feel anything anymore, not with that kind of memory."

He squeezed her shoulder once before letting his hand fall. "I was the one to put a blade in Karl. I tried to rescue him, only to find that blasted sunburst burned onto his head. He called the Templars on me, and after I dispatched them, I…I killed him."

This time, he felt her hand on his upper arm. It was almost funny how a hatred of the Templars could bring together so many different people in a common cause. They didn't speak again until they reached the pile of scrubby brush that hid the entrance into the tunnels to the Undercity. Anders moved them away, and followed the woman into the darkness, making sure to move the vegetation back into place. He felt her press a torch into his hand and a quick gesture from his hand had it burning. She lit hers and preceded him further into the cave system. They advanced slowly, the rogue sneaking off ahead to make sure their path was clear. The Templars didn't like to come down this far, but they had seen one or two in the past couple of months, so took no chances. They finally reached the crack in the wall that lead off to another tunnel that sloped upward and ended with a plain wooden door that had no handle. Anders stepped up to it and knocked once, then twice, paused, and knocked once more. A voice issued from behind the door. "The bakery is closed."

Anders leaned in closer to the door and softly said, "But the hot cross buns are fresh."

The door opened and Anders and the woman squeezed in. He looked around and saw that they were the last ones back. Samuel gave them both a nod and said quietly, "Right. Good job tonight. Remember, keep your ears and eyes open, and make your way home in a random pattern. Now, scatter."

They began to leave the hidden cellar room one by one, waiting at least three minutes between. Knowing that he and the woman would be one of the last to leave, Anders knelt down against the wall and idly fingered the amulet that still hung around his neck. He'd collected a few amulets with stronger enchantments, but he just couldn't bring himself to take the necklace off. He looked over to his right as Samuel knelt next to him and rumbled out a question. "Any trouble tonight?"

Anders shook his head. "We didn't see anyone in the tunnels as we came in and there was no one on the paths. We either got very lucky or we are being set up."

Samuel gazed around the room for a moment before turning back to look at Anders. "I think we got lucky. I've checked out everyone that was here tonight personally. None of them have any kind regards toward the Templars." He reached out and slapped his hand gently on Anders' shoulder. "Take care when you leave tonight. You seem a bit…distracted."

He stood and Anders' hand fell away from his necklace to rub over his face. Samuel was right; he _was_ distracted. He had to get his head together. This wasn't a game they were playing. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to remember those old concentration exercises he used to do as an apprentice. He focused on his breathing and pushed all of his jumbled emotions aside. When he opened his eyes, he found he was alone in the room. _'Time to go,'_ he thought, and stood up.

When he came out of the winding tunnels and stairs, he knew he'd find himself emerging from a door not too far from the Hanged Man. Good as place as any to cover his tracks. He pushed open the tavern's door and his nose involuntarily wrinkled. It must have been an eventful evening; the stench of vomit was especially strong near the door. He wandered over to the bar and lifted a hand to get the barkeep's attention. "Cider," he said, when the man came over. He was handed a tankard and he turned to observe the patrons, lifting the mug up to take a sip. He spotted Isabela and Varric in the far corner, apparently trying to out cheat each other in that game Bailey had taught Isabela while he and Varric had been fighting demons and darkspawn.

He threaded his way through the tables and sat down at the table with them. Varric glanced up from his cards and said, "Deal you in, Blondie?"

Anders shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "Not tonight. Who's managed to cheat who out of how much?"

Varric gave him a look and Isabela smirked. "I've won 5 of the past 7 hands. Sure you don't want to give me a little variety, Anders?" She leaned forward and purred, "Bailey told me there is a 'strip' version of this game, where you bet an item of clothing instead of money. Might be interesting."

He saw Varric roll his eyes, and Anders just gave her a smirk in return. "Sorry, Bela. I think I'll keep my trousers exactly where they are."

She pretended to pout, then wrinkled her brows together. "Here alone? Where's Bailey?"

He looked down at his mug and said, "At the clinic, probably sleeping." He shrugged and took another drink.

Varric sighed heavily and leaned one elbow on the table, the first three fingers rubbing his forehead as if he were pained. "You know, Blondie; I can't write a romantic best seller about the rebel mage and his mysterious woman if you two don't get your act together."

"Varric, I've told you repeatedly…"

"Yeah, yeah. 'It's not like that with us, I can't be the man she needs, she deserves better'. Blah, blah, blah." Varric glared at him and said, "Don't think I didn't see that smack you laid on her before we left on that blasted expedition."

Isabela shrugged and said, "I told her to tie him down and do wicked things to his body. Even offered to buy the silk cords, but she said she couldn't put him in that position. So I told her about a few others she might try. She just blushed and walked away from me." She looked up from her cards. "Are we sure she's not a virgin?"

Anders looked from one to the other, his mouth hanging open. "What? Silk cords…" His mind began to race at that thought, but from the other side of the image. He shook his head hard to get rid of it. "No. Just stop it. Stop trying to push us together. What happens between me and Bailey is no one else's business but our own, and it just so happens that NOTHING is going on between us." He drained the last of his cider, thumped the tankard down onto the table, and pushed his chair back. He gave each of them a glare and said, "And don't try to pull this on Bailey when I'm not around. She has enough to deal with already; things you two would never understand."

He turned to leave and flinched as he heard Varric say, "Denying it will only make it worse, Blondie. You find love like that, you shouldn't let it go."

He turned to deliver a scathing retort, but swallowed it when he saw the look in Varric's eyes. He'd never seen the dwarf look so serious. Instead, he just nodded curtly and again turned to leave. It might have been a mistake to come here after all. He shoved the door open, stepped outside and took a deep breath; to both clear his nose of the smell and to calm his irritation. He knew Varric and Isabela had just been ribbing him, but it had been very poor timing. He was already so close to breaking where Bailey was concerned, he didn't need any more pressure about it. His head dropped down onto his hand for a moment. The urge to run and escape was creeping up on him again.

Anders made his way through the streets of Lowtown, his mind formulating ways on how he could go about handling these emotions. He knew he was hurting Bailey with the forced distance he kept putting between them, and it was killing him to do it. It was just as Justice had told him. He could keep fighting for other mages to have the freedoms he craved without ever getting to experience them…or he could give into the selfish desires. _'No, I can't do that. Every mage deserves to live free. I can't abandon them; not now,'_ he thought as he went down the stairs that would take him into the Undercity. Another five minutes would see him at the doors of the clinic, the lanterns extinguished for the night.

He unlocked the door and went inside, bolting it again. The faint glow of a lantern in the kitchen gave him enough light to not trip over anything as he walked to his sleeping room. The clinic had been dark when he'd left, which meant that Bailey had woken sometime, found him gone, and lit the lantern for him. Dammit. She didn't make it easy to stop lov…

He shook his head hard to clear it of that thought and leaned his staff in a corner close to the head of his bed. The Carta had been acting odd of late; he wanted a weapon close by just in case. His jacket and leather plate he tossed on top of his storage chest before he sat on the edge of his bed to unbuckle his boots. That done, he stared at the curtain that separated him from her room. It was actually two curtains, simply overlapped in the middle, making it easier to get from one area to the other…just in case. They had never used it; they had a mutual understanding that it was for emergency purposes only. So the fact that he now used it to step into her room was significant in itself. _'I'm just checking on her,'_ he rationalized.

Of course, she was asleep. She was curled on her side, facing toward the curtain, one hand lying open and palm up on her pillow, the other one tucked under her chin. Her lips were partly open, and as he watched, her tongue slid out over them quickly and she shifted just a little. The slight unconscious movements made him ache all over. He dropped to his knees next to her bed, rested his arms on the edge and bent to pillow his head on his forearms for a moment or two. He looked up finally to gaze at her. His hand reached out to touch her cheek, but before he did, he curled his fingers into a tight ball, not daring to touch her. If he did, he wouldn't be able to stop. He pulled his hand back and abruptly stood. It was no good torturing himself like this. As he went back through the curtain, he could have sworn he heard her softly murmur his name, and he wanted to scream in frustration. He fell onto his bed, but no matter how many sheep he counted, he just couldn't get to sleep.

The next three days were more of the same frustration. He couldn't talk to her without snapping, and he could see the hurt he caused every time he did so. When Hollie walked into the clinic with Varric, he almost went to his knees in thanks to the Maker. Maybe she would have something she needed his help with. Then he saw the third person that followed them.

Carver.

He had to admit, the lad looked healthy, and he carried the armor of a Warden well. Something in the set of his shoulders and face had subtly changed as well. He seemed more sure and confident of himself. Carver gave him a nod in greeting before his eyes tracked around the room. They landed on Bailey and a small smile curved his mouth. Anders looked away before he audibly growled and focused on Hollie.

"Anders, glad you are here. We – Carver and I – would like to ask your help on something," she said.

"Of course, Hollie. What's wrong?"

Hollie shifted her feet and said, "Have you noticed the Carta has been a little…odd, lately?"

He nodded. "Yes. More so than usual."

"They've been hitting Carver's patrols for the past month, and just last week, snuck into the barracks while he was sleeping and attacked him. I've been getting attacked by one or two of them for the past month as well, and last night, one of them said something about the Hawke's blood."

Anders furrowed his brow. "Have they attacked anyone else close to you? Merrill, Fenris, Isabela? Varric? Your mother?"

Hollie shook her head. "No, it just seems to be me or Carver."

Carver looked over at them now and said, "The ones that tried to get me while I was in the barracks also said something about the blood of the Hawke. I figured if they tried to get to me, they might try for Hollie, so I came to check on her. I just arrived this morning, and when she told me what her attackers had said, well…" He shrugged and said, "We were wondering if it might have something to do with Father."

"Okay. And you need my help for…?"

Varric spoke up now and said, "I know where the Carta likes to hide. It's an old Grey Warden prison up in the Vinmark Mountains. We're going to track them down and see what we can find out."

Anders glanced over at Bailey and turned his eyes back to Varric. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning. Early. The less time we are out in nature, the happier I will be." When Anders just shook his head, Varric said, "What? I'm a city dwarf. I don't like mud on my boots."

Hollie said, "We'll meet at the northern gate an hour after sunrise. Hopefully this will be a quick trip."

As they were discussing the particulars of the trip, Anders couldn't help but notice that Carver had stepped away from them and now stood next to Bailey. He tried not to hear what the young man was saying, but he couldn't help straining his ears. "Bailey, if you are not opposed to the idea, I'd like to call on you this evening, after dinner? There are things that need explaining and I'd like the chance to do so," Carver was saying.

Anders strained one ear even harder to hear Bailey's reply. "Of course, Carver. I wouldn't mind." Just out of the corner of his eye, he could see Carver take her hand and brush his lips across the back of it. The action almost made his blood boil. _'Calm yourself! You have no claim on the woman's affections! If she wishes to spend time with the lad, you have no say in it.'_ Again, Anders shot back an angry internal reply. _'Sometimes…I really hate you.'_ He gritted his teeth and turned his attention back to Hollie and Varric.

"…least three days, a week at most. The pass isn't far, but the terrain can be rough," Varric was saying. "Might get chilly up there, so bring a cloak."

Anders rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mother."

Varric gave him a glare and glanced over at Bailey to give her a smile. "Will we see you tonight for poker, Blossom?"

Anders turned and saw her shake her head. "Not tonight. I have…" She glanced up at Carver and said, "Other plans."

Varric raised an eyebrow and said, "I see. When we all get back, then."

The three of them left and Anders turned to look at Bailey. She gave him a blank stare and disappeared back into the work room. She stayed in there for the rest of the afternoon, only emerging to throw together some soup for their dinner. It was a quiet day in the clinic; they didn't have many patients coming in, so he spent the downtime writing down his thoughts on the Chantry and how mages were treated under their rules. It wasn't quite a manifesto…yet.

Dinner was a quiet affair; he missed the easy camaraderie they had once had. He knew it was entirely his doing, but it was the best for them both. The knock on the door of the clinic came as a relief and a painful sting. He knew it was Carver, come to "call" on Bailey. He looked at her as she went to answer it. She had changed into one of her nicer shirts and had fixed her hair into multiple braids that she had looped and pinned into a very becoming hair style. The brooch Carver had given to her was attached to a silken cord and she wore it like a pendant. He was snapped out of his reverie by her voice. "Anders, leave a lantern on for me please? I don't want to trip over anything in the dark if you aren't home when I return."

He watched as Carver helped her drape a cloak over her shoulders and then offered his arm. They left, and the sound of the door closing was like a kick to his gut. _'It's for the best,'_ he tried to tell himself. But his anger at himself and the whole damned situation had him on his feet and pacing the full length of the clinic's main aisle. He sat down at his desk and began to write; his quill practically flew over page after page. He poured all of his own longing and desire for freedom into his plea for other mages.

He barely looked up when Bailey returned a few hours later, her cheeks flushed and one of her braids falling across her shoulder. She hung her cloak on a peg near the door and turned to give him a small smile. He felt his lips starting to respond and he quickly looked down at his paper. "Did you have fun?" he asked quietly.

Bailey was walking to her room, but stopped to answer him. "As a matter of fact, yes. He was a perfect gentleman and apologized for leaving as he had when he became ill. He also told me about how he had been trailing me around town when I was alone and why. I tried to return this brooch to him and he insisted that I keep it."

She stopped speaking and waited until he looked up at her. The look on her face was one that he'd never seen before; she looked almost vindictive. Her next words were uttered softly, "He asked if he could write to me and I told him yes."

He gazed at her for a moment then looked back down at his paper. "You can write to whomever you wish, Bailey. I have no say in the matter." As she walked away from him, he could have sworn he heard her mutter something about wishing he did. His head fell down onto his desk and he thumped it softly against the wood a few times. Morning – and the distance it would bring – couldn't come soon enough.

The group returned a week later, battered and confused over the events and information they had been faced with. Anders had a lot of to think about concerning the Chantry and their mythology, as he had always thought of it. Of course, Hollie and Carver had quite a few things to talk to their mother about concerning their father. The clinic was dark, aside from a single lantern. Bailey was asleep already, and he fell eagerly into his bed, hoping for a few hours of nightmare free sleep.

He woke up sometime later to Bailey repeating his name and shaking his shoulder. "Anders! Come on, wake up! Anders!"

He sat up quickly, his eyes darting around, and a cold spell ready on his hands. Bailey jumped back away from him, her face illuminated by the glow of his magic. She looked frightened and ready to jump back through the curtains. "What the hell, Anders?" she said nervously.

Her voice finally registered in his head and he withdrew the spell. He rubbed his hand over his face and said, "That…was one of my nightmares."

He looked up as Bailey sat down on the edge of his bed, her hands folded together on her lap. "Are they always like that?"

He shook his head. "No. This one was…" His voice trailed off. He was unable to describe the hell his mind had just put him through.

Bailey held his gaze, her face set with a worried frown. "What happened on this trip, Anders? Because you weren't affected like this after the Deep Roads."

Anders shuddered and hunched his shoulders, his eyes closed. "Please, don't make me talk about it right now." He opened his eyes to see her face soft with comprehension. She reached over to gently grasp his hand.

"Will you be okay?" she asked quietly.

"In time." He looked down at their clasped hands and realized how much he had missed this part of their…relationship. She started to rise as if to leave, and he clutched at her hand. "Don't go. Please." He looked up at her. "Would you…stay here, with me, tonight?"

She studied his face and said, "Are you sure you want me here?"

He closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes. Please."

He heard her sigh and say, "Let me get my pillow."

He released her hand and watched her go through the curtain divider, returning a few seconds later with a pillow clutched in her arms. He moved over on his bed and she climbed in next to him, turning on her side to face away from him.

Anders gazed down at her and said, "Thank you."

She rolled to look over her shoulder at him. "You're welcome."

As she started to turn away again, he said, "I'm sorry I've been such an ass lately. I've had…things on my mind."

She flipped over and sat up to look him in the eye. "You have been a royal pain in the ass. Mine, to be exact."

"I know. You didn't deserve to be the recipient of my frustrations."

She reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder, pushing him down onto his back. She lay down against him and rested her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest. "It's okay. I can be a real bitch at times, too, usually with the people I care about the most. So, you know, just be prepared for that."

He chuckled softly, wrapped the arm she was laying on around her back and turned his head to press a kiss to the top of her head. "Good night, Bailey."

He heard her mumble a soft "G'night, Anders."

He listened to her breathing become soft and steady, the feel of it brushing against his skin like a caress. It and the beat of her heart lulled him to sleep.

The nightmares didn't return.

* * *

_Author's note: Thank you to everyone for being so patient for this chapter. Hopefully, I'll be able to have another one out to you within the week. I'm in training 8 hours a day, with a 2.5 hour(total) commute daily. And Anders was decidedly reticent about sharing the contents of this chapter with me...I think he was ashamed of his behavior. Also, I was purposely vague on what happened in the Vinmark Mtns, just to keep it spoiler free for folks that haven't played/don't own the Legacy DLC._


	20. Facing Fears

_Thwump! Thwump!_

Two arrows slammed in quick succession into the black X drawn onto the center of the target. Bailey stared, stunned, her bow half lowered. Sebastian let out a whoop of glee and wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up and spun her around once. "Bailey! You did it!"

As he set her back down onto her feet, she grinned up at him. "Wow. So that's how it feels."

His eyes danced as he lifted a hand to brush a strand of hair off of her face. "How what feels?"

"To be as awesome an archer as you."

He tilted his head back and let out another laugh, his hands still lying on her waist. Bailey rested her hands on his upper arms, both of them oblivious to just how close they were standing to each other.

The two of them had grown closer over the past several months as Bailey continued to improve her archery skills with his help and advice. Not every morning was spent in front of the targets, though. There had been many mornings filled with philosophical and theological debating. He was fascinated by her religion, even though he kept gently trying to turn her to Andraste and the Maker. Bailey, in turn, would try to convert him to her more forgiving and open minded way of thinking. As much as she liked Sebastian, he still had a very closed mind when it came to certain things…like the way mages were treated. Which was one of only a dozen reasons she still hadn't told him that her best friend and…house mate…was a mage.

Then there were the mornings when he took her to the meadows to hunt for small game, most of which was donated to the Chantry's soup kitchen or to Lirene in Lowtown. He'd been almost insultingly surprised at her woodcraft skills, but nodded in understanding and gave her a brief look of sympathy as she had told him about the times she had spent with her older brother in the woods surrounding their house. He had then opened up a bit and told her about his two older brothers taking him along with them on their forays into the forest around their father's hunting lodge. He had sounded so sad that she had reached out and gently squeezed his hand. The look in his eyes as he turned his head towards her had haunted her ever since.

As they stood so close together in the bright morning sunshine with the smell of autumn roses surrounding them, Sebastian smiled down at her and said, "You know…I think you just might be ready."

Bailey cocked her head and took a step away from him and towards the target to retrieve her arrows. "Ready for what?" she said over her shoulder.

He turned and walked with her, his hands clasped behind his back. "I've been thinking that you might like to try hunting for something a bit larger than a rabbit or squirrel or ptarmigan. Perhaps…a deer?"

Bailey stopped to stare at him, her hand still wrapped around one of her arrows stuck in the target. "Um. A deer? Really?"

He nodded, a small smile still on his face. "Yes. A prolonged hunt, perhaps two or three days, well out past the city. Of course, the majority of the meat would be donated as usual. We'll have a pack animal for hauling what we can't carry on our horses, but I'd like to keep our necessities spare." Sebastian finally noticed that Bailey wasn't speaking, and her face now held a rather scared expression. "Bailey? What's wrong?"

She gulped and softly said, "Horses? As in, riding?"

"Well, yes. It will be quicker and easier to haul…" He trailed off as she turned pale and moved to sit down on a nearby bench. Sudden realization hit him. "You are afraid of horses?"

She lifted her head up, her arms crossed over her stomach. "I've been on a horse three times in my life. The first time when I was three, and the horse bucked me off over its own head. The second time, I was sixteen, and well…all I know is, the horse turned left, and suddenly I was on the ground. The third and final time, I had no control over the horse, and had to go where it wanted to. I still remember its name, because the horse master had to say it so many times. Liberty." She shuddered and closed her eyes. "I am not a rider at all, Sebastian."

He knelt down in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and gazed at him, the fear quite evident. He smiled softly and said, "I understand, believe me. I was four when my oldest brother's big black gelding stepped on my left foot. I had two broken toes, and my middle one is crooked to this day. But I will teach you, just as I was taught. We'll take it as slowly as you need."

She gazed at him and said, "Show me."

He gave her a confused look and she tilted her head to indicate his left foot. He laughed and said, "You want to see my crooked toe?"

"Yes. Show me your imperfection." She moved over on the bench and he rose to sit next to her. He tugged off his soft leather boot, then his sock, and stuck his foot out. She turned to look at it, and indeed, the middle toe had a distinct bend towards the outside of his foot.

"See? I told you," he said, bending his leg to pull his sock and boot back on. "Now do you believe me that I do understand your hesitancy? Or did you just want a glimpse of my hairy foot?"

Bailey stared at him, a bit shocked. _'Was that…a flirt? From Sebastian? What? I can't even…'_ she thought. "Um…I…uh…"

He laughed again and reached over to touch her hand. "I jest, my lady. I would never suggest that you would have ulterior motives." He stood and stamped his foot to settle his boot again. "Now…would you like to start the riding lessons today or tomorrow morning? We still have a bit of time this morning before your usual departure time." His blue eyes gleamed even brighter as a stray beam of sunlight danced across his face.

She chewed on a thumbnail for a moment, considering. "Alright. Why not? I suppose the best thing to be done is to face the fear."

Sebastian clapped his hands together once and said, "Excellent! Let's gather your things, then. We'll head to the stables now."

He bent to help her, their hands brushing as they both pushed arrows back into her quiver. She unstrung her bow, slipped it into the leather case and slung both it and her quiver over her shoulder. "Okay. Let's do this."

Sebastian smiled as she masked her fear behind a show of bravado. He held out his hand to her, giving hers a gentle squeeze when she took it. He turned to lead them from the garden and into the city. Again, a subtle change to his bearing occurred as they left the Chantry grounds. Bailey looked at him, confused. "Sebastian? I thought we were going to the stables."

"We are. My horses are stabled away from the Chantry's. My, um…stallion caused a bit of trouble a few years ago, and the Grand Cleric asked me to find other lodgings for my animals."

She couldn't help grinning up at him. "Your stallion, huh? Let me guess…one of the Chantry mares was really pretty?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, a slight flush on his cheeks. "Something like that, yes."

She laughed, and lifted a hand to cover her mouth, her eyes dancing in merriment as she looked up at him. Her hand lowered and she said, "Sounds like your stallion didn't take well to life in the Chantry."

He gave her a lopsided smirk and said, "Something he and I had in common, actually."

Bailey tilted her head to the side and said, "Really? You didn't take well to life there, either?"

The smirk on his face turned into a more suggestive smile. "I did have a different life before I became a brother of the Chantry." His eyes gleamed as he slowly looked her up and down, finally coming to rest on her blushing cheeks. He leaned closer to whisper in a conspiratorial tone, "I was quite…adventurous."

She stared up at him for a moment, her eyes wide with surprise. He continued to smile at her with that gleam in his eye, and she quickly turned her head down to stare at the ground. His laugh rang out and he quietly said, "Rest assured, my lady. Your virtue is safe. Those days are behind me, if not for my horse."

She looked back up at him, and he was once again simply Sebastian, her instructor and friend. That look he had given her had made her imagination go into overdrive, especially when he had whispered near her ear about being adventurous. She'd had to look away before those thoughts became obvious in her eyes. It really had been _way_ too long if she was thinking about jumping a Chantry brother that was sworn to celibacy, even if he was one of the sexiest men she'd ever laid eyes on, with an accent that simply tickled her ears. "Well, that, um…is good to know."

They came to a stop outside of a large building near one of the gates that led outside of the city. The two wide front doors of the building were open, and a small breeze brought the smell of sweet hay to Bailey's nose. A man wearing a long leather vest stood to one side of the doors, his shoulder pressed to the side of a large bay colored horse. He had one of the horses back hooves in one hand and curved metal hook in the other. Sebastian called out to him and lifted a hand in greeting. "Serrah Jonathan! How are you today?"

The man looked up and grinned. "Brother Sebastian! I do as well as I can, lad. Here to see your two beauties?"

"Indeed. Jonathan, may I introduce Serrah Bailey? Bailey, this is Jonathan, horse master and farrier beyond compare."

Bailey smiled and dipped a little curtsey. "Well met, Serrah Jonathan."

"A pleasure, my lady," Jonathan bobbed his head once and turned to Sebastian. "Will ye be taking the lady for a ride today? I can have them saddled and ready in only a few minutes."

"Not today, thank you. But I would like for Bailey to meet Tempe, and even Storm, if he'll behave."

Jonathan laughed and tilted his head toward the doors. "Ye never know with that beastie. On with ye then. Ye know where to find them." He bent to pick up another hoof and set to cleaning it with the hook in his hand, whistling softly as he worked.

Sebastian turned and led Bailey into the stable, walking down the middle to two stalls at the far end. Stopping in front of one, he clucked softly and golden yellow head with a white blaze on the forehead poked over the gate. "Hello, my beauty," he said, lifting a hand to scratch along the jawline of the horse. "I have someone for you to meet, Tempe. But you have to be a good girl, okay?"

The horse widened her nostrils and blew out a breath, her ears twitching forward. Sebastian lifted the latch on the gate and pulled it open. He went into the stall, pushing the horse back so Bailey could follow him in. He wrapped an arm under the horse's neck and turned to look over his shoulder, a smile on his face. "Bailey, this is my mare, Temperance. I usually just call her Tempe."

Bailey stared at the horse before her. Her coat was a beautiful golden yellow that lightened to white above each of her hooves. Her mane and tail were pale, almost white in color. Her eyes were a deep brown, and blinked slowly as she stared back at Bailey. "She's beautiful."

Sebastian smiled and turned to look up at the horse. "That she is. She's also got a very patient nature, which is why you will be learning to ride on her. Come on over and let her smell you. Just hold your palm out to under her nose. That's it. Don't curl your fingers in, keep them flat."

Bailey bit back a giggle as the mare's soft muzzle brushed against her hand. "It tickles." She looked up at Sebastian to find him grinning. "How tall is she?"

"She's about 15 hands, which is about 5 feet tall."

Bailey looked up at the horse's back and a small lump of nervousness formed in her stomach. "Ooookay." She turned to look at Tempe and said, "I apologize in advance for my clumsiness, okay, Tempe? You'll have to use some of that patience that Sebastian says you have."

"Don't worry, Bailey. I'm not going to toss you on her right away. I want you to be more comfortable around her, first. We'll start with grooming her each day until you get used to her size and demeanor, and so Tempe can get to know you as well. Horses are pretty sensitive creatures, and can tell when someone is scared." He gave Tempe another pat on her neck and said, "Okay. Let's see if Storm will behave long enough for you to meet him."

They left the mare's stall and walked across the main aisle to the stall there. Bailey could see it was a bit bigger than Tempe's, and she heard a snort from within. Suddenly, a gray face with a dark muzzle appeared over the gate. The horse made a light whinny and Sebastian stroked a hand down the middle of its face. "Hey, boy. Of course I wouldn't forget you. Bailey, this is Storm."

Bailey stepped forward and said, "Hello, Storm. So you are the one that caused the ruckus, huh?"

Storm's ears twitched and he turned his head to sniff and snuffle at Bailey. He blew out a breath, causing her hair to fly up, then turned away from the gate. Sebastian laughed and said, "I think he might actually like you already. Want to go in and meet him?"

Bailey blinked and said, "Um, okay. Sure."

Sebastian lifted the latch and they walked into the stall. Bailey was able to see the whole horse, and oh, he was gorgeous. He was taller and bigger than Tempe, and his coat was gray. It darkened to almost black on his legs and around his muzzle and ears, and his mane and tail were black. "I can see why you named him Storm. He's gorgeous."

Sebastian walked up to the horse and put both hands under its jaw. "He may look and act like a brute sometimes, but he's really a big softie. All it takes is a little persuasion with an apple or two and a scratch in the right spot. But don't let him know you know his weakness."

Bailey watched as the horse's eyes fluttered and his head lowered as Sebastian kept scratching a particular spot under his chin. He blew out a breath and tossed his head, stamping one foot when Sebastian withdrew his hands. He gave them both a look and then walked over to lip at the sweet grass in his feed trough. Sebastian laughed and said, "I think we've been dismissed. Come on."

They left the stall and Sebastian called out to them both, "We'll be back tomorrow morning, you two. If you behave, there might be an apple in it for you both."

They walked back out into the bright sunlight, and Jonathan looked up at them. "So, my lady. What did ye think of the brother's beauties?"

"They are indeed beautiful."

"Jonathan, do you have a moment? I'd like to speak to you about a somewhat delicate matter."

"Aye. I was just finished with this hoof, anyway." He lowered the horse's leg to the ground and placed the hook on a stool nearby, grabbed a cloth and wiped his hands as he approached them. "Is all well with the horses, lad?"

"Oh, the horses are fine. I have no doubt in your care of them. No, this is…difficult to explain. Bailey? Perhaps you could…"

"What Sebastian is trying to say in a way that won't offend me is that he will be teaching me to ride. My past experiences with horses have been unpleasant, to say the least. I believe he's trying to spare me any possible embarrassment." She turned to look up at Sebastian. "That is what you were saying, correct?"

"Yes. I just wasn't sure how to phrase it to spare you embarrassment, as you said."

"I see," Jonathan nodded. "Ye'll be starting with grooming then, lad?"

"Aye. Tomorrow morning, if it won't be an inconvenience to you."

"Nonsense. I'll be sure to have the tools laid out for ye. I assume the lady will be working with Tempe?"

"Aye. She's more gentle than Storm, although I would like for Storm to get to know her, too. But that will come later."

Jonathan turned to smile at Bailey. "Tempe is a right gentle one, lass. She'll nay harm ye. She especially likes a good curry around her withers and may nudge yer hand a bit, but doona be alarmed by it."

"Thank you, Jonathan. I'll keep that in mind. And any help and advice you can give, I will gladly take it."

The horse master laughed and said, "Be careful what ye ask for, lass. I've been around horses me whole life, so I'm full of all kinds of things."

The three of them laughed again, then Bailey and Sebastian bid him a goodbye, with a promise to return in the morning. As they walked back towards the garden, Sebastian suggested they meet there until Bailey was sure she could find her way to the stable on her own. When they reached the entrance to the courtyard in front of the Chantry, Sebastian stopped and turned to her. "Bailey, you do want to learn to ride, don't you? I mean, I don't want to force you, if you are not sure."

"Don't worry, Sebastian. It's past time that I face this. Having a proper teacher will help, and I trust that you will not let me do anything I am not ready for. I don't expect to be jumping fences or galloping around the countryside by next week."

He smiled and took her hand, lifting it to press first his forehead, then his lips against her knuckles. It was the first time he had ever done that, and Bailey wasn't sure what to think of the gesture. He gazed at her, his head still bent over and a hint of that odd gleam in his eyes. "Until tomorrow morning then, my lady." He lowered her hand as he straightened and turned to walk into the courtyard. As he approached the steps leading up to the front doors of the Chantry, Bailey watched as his shoulders seemed to droop just a little and his steps became slower. It was odd how he affected a different posture when he was within the Chantry. She shook her head and turned to make her way home. She needed to wash the smell of horse from her hands before she could work with patients.

Over the next few weeks, Bailey learned all there was to know about grooming and caring for a horse. The first time that Tempe lifted her back hoof for Bailey without much convincing was a great day. Before she left the stables that morning, Sebastian informed her that they would be saddling the horses the next day, so trousers and boots with a heel might be a good clothing choice. She nodded, her eyes a bit wide, then bid him and Jonathan a good day.

She arrived at the stables the next morning and Jonathan greeted her with a "Morning, lass. Ye'll find him in the tack room. Go past the stalls and turn to the right. Can't miss it."

"Thank you, Jonathan. Any advice for me today?"

"I think the lad's doing jest fine. I'll butt in should I need to."

She nodded and went into the stables, stopping to say hello to Tempe and Storm. While she was scratching Storm under his chin, Sebastian walked around the corner and gave her a grin. "You'll spoil him if you keep hitting his favorite spots."

"Awww, don't listen to him, Storm. You and I know you are already spoiled, aren't you, you big ol' cuddly colt."

Storm turned his head toward Sebastian and blew out a snort. Sebastian laughed and said, "Come on. I want to show you the equipment that belongs to me and what goes on each horse."

Bailey gave Storm another scratch and turned to follow Sebastian around the corner. He led her into a veritable maze of horse gear. "Uh…that's a lot of stuff."

"Don't worry. Mine is easily recognized. It all has the Vael family crest on it. See?" He pointed to a spot on the back of a saddle. Bailey stepped closer and bent over to look at it. The leather was marked with crossed arrows and a stylized capital V. "It also helps that Jonathan keeps all of my things together."

"So, how do I know what goes on which horse?"

"The color of the leather. Tempe's equipment is this lighter tan color, whereas Storm's is this darker color." He pointed at the two saddles in front of her.

"Ah, okay. Makes sense."

He stepped over to a wall where several bridles were hanging. He took one that was a pale color from the wall and draped it over a saddle of the same color. He then picked up a blanket, draped it over the saddle and picked the whole bundle up. "I'll teach you how to put the bridle on first, then the saddle."

She followed him out of the tack room and back to Tempe's stall. He gestured with his head to the door and Bailey opened it for him. He set the saddle and other things on what looked like a wooden saw horse and turned to look at her. Tempe stepped closer and nudged her muzzle against Bailey's back, causing both of the humans to chuckle softly. Bailey turned to give her a pat on the forehead. "Just a few minutes, girl. Sebastian has to teach me a few things, first."

She turned back to Sebastian and he picked up the bridle. "Tempe usually takes the bit fairly easily, so you don't have to force it on her. Here, I'll show you how to do it, and then you can try."

He stepped over to Tempe, the bit lying across the palm of his hand. He turned so that the horse's head was over his right shoulder. He used his left hand to gently open Tempe's mouth and let her take the bit in. He carefully pulled the leather straps up over her head and adjusted them so that one strap went across her brow and another behind her ears. He gave her a scratch under her chin and said, "Good girl. We're going to let Bailey try it now, so no biting, you hear?"

He carefully removed the bridle and stepped to the side, holding out the straps of leather towards her. Bailey took it in her left hand and stepped over to Tempe. "Okay, girl. No biting. I like my fingers where they are, okay?" Tempe snorted and nodded her head once. Bailey laid the bit across her palm and tried to imitate what Sebastian had done, gently pushing her fingers into the horse's mouth. Tempe opened up and pulled the bit into her mouth. Bailey looked up at Sebastian, who gave her a grin and a nod of approval. She turned back to Tempe and carefully pulled the rest of the straps up and over the horse's ears. At that point, Sebastian stepped closer and showed her how to position the brow strap and buckle the throat latch.

"Well, that went well enough. Shall we move on to saddling her next?" he asked with a grin.

For the next hour, Bailey learned how to saddle Tempe and how to adjust the stirrups so they were the correct length. Then he showed her the proper way to remove the saddle so as not to harm the horse. When he decided that she had managed to grasp the basics, they called it a day and gathered the equipment to return it to the tack room. Bailey was hanging the bridle in the spot Sebastian indicated when a thought struck her.

"So, Sebastian…who taught you how to ride? Was it your older brother?"

Sebastian paused as he folded the blanket to lay it on a shelf. "No, it wasn't my brother. I'd like to say it was my father, but it was in fact, my grandfather."

"The same one that put a bow in your hand?"

"Aye." He turned to look at her, leaning back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'an heir and a spare'?"

Bailey nodded and Sebastian smiled with a bitter edge. "You could say I was merely a spare spare. You see, I knew from an early age what my fate would be. 'Tis family tradition, after all."

"What is?"

"The third son is given to the Chantry to become an initiate and a Brother of the Chantry."

Bailey stared at him. "Why?"

He shrugged. "My family has always been very faithful, going back for generations. My grandfather only had two sons, though. He didn't have to give one away. And though he too knew where I would eventually end up, he still believed that I should learn some 'princely skills', as he called them. So, he taught me the bow and how to ride, among other things."

Bailey looked down at the saddle next to her and contemplated what he said. "So you were never close to your father?"

Sebastian snorted. "You could say that. He wasn't cold, don't misunderstand me. But there was no great show of affection from him either. Of course, as I grew older and began to truly understand what fate awaited me, I didn't make life easy for him either."

Bailey looked up at him and smiled. "You did mention something once about having a very different life prior to becoming a brother."

He smiled again, and his eyes gleamed the same way they had several weeks before when he had spoken of it. "Aye, that I did. I rebelled in the most typical way you can think of. I can tell by the blush on your cheek that you understand what I mean. When my father finally found me in the most expensive brothel in town, the words that passed between us…" He trailed off and closed his eyes. "I still regret them to this day."

He opened his eyes again and gazed at her. Bailey studied him for a moment and said, "Your father was never close to you, because he knew that by sending you to the Chantry, you would have to give up your ties to your family. He wasn't being cold Sebastian; he was trying to protect his heart from breaking. No man truly wants to give away his son, no matter what family tradition may say."

He shrugged again. "You may be right. But at least I had my grandfather. As for my father, well…I guess I will never have the chance to ask him, now."

She stepped closer to him and without thinking, reached up to lay her hand against his cheek. "Oh, Sebastian," she said quietly.

His eyes widened slightly as her thumb brushed over his cheekbone. Bailey's own eyes widened as she realized what she had done, and she pulled her hand away and took a step back. She curled her fingers into a ball and said, "I'm sorry. It was probably very inappropriate to touch you like that."

Sebastian cleared his throat and said, "Well, speaking strictly as a brother, it was a touch born of compassion. You have a kind heart, Bailey, and I'm sure the Maker sees that and will forgive you."

He pushed away from the wall and took a step closer. He looked down at her and lifted his hand to wrap his fingers around her wrist. His voice lowered and he spoke softly. "Speaking strictly as a man, however," he said, using his other hand to uncurl her fingers, then guiding her hand back to his cheek, "It has been a very long time since I have felt the touch of a beautiful woman. Allow me the pleasure for a few more moments." He held her hand against his face as he closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. He turned his head until the corner of his mouth lightly touched her palm. She saw his Adam 's apple bob in his throat as he swallowed heavily and then opened his eyes. He gave her a smile as he lowered her hand. "Come. It's time that I return to the Chantry and I'm sure you have business to attend to today as well."

He turned to leave the tack room, leaving Bailey to stare after him, her mind racing at his behavior. She turned to catch up to him and found him in front of the stable with Jonathan.

"So, lass. Sebastian says ye succeeded putting a bridle on your first time. That can be a bit tricky. Still have all yer fingers?"

"Aye, I do, Jonathan," she said, holding up her hands to show him. "I asked Tempe not to bite me, and she agreed not to."

"That horse has taken a real liking to ye, lass. Ye know ye are always welcome to visit her anytime ye want, as long as the lad agrees."

Sebastian nodded, "Aye, tis fine with me. I think Tempe and Storm would both like the company."

"I'll keep that in mind. For now, it's time for me to return to the world of caring for humans."

She and Sebastian bid a good day to Jonathan and began walking through Hightown towards the Chantry. Bailey glanced up at him on occasion as they walked, trying to figure out how to approach the rather delicate subject of his reaction to her touch. She saw they were getting closer to the Chantry and finally said, "Sebastian."

"Hmmm?"

"What…what happened back there? In the tack room? I mean, the way you acted…"

Sebastian stopped walking and turned to look down at her. The look on his face was unreadable, and she shifted her feet nervously. He tilted his head back up and looked around as if searching for something, speaking quietly. "This is not a conversation to be had in public hearing." He suddenly took her upper arm and led her into a narrow space between two buildings. She looked up at him as he stopped halfway down the alley and gazed down at her, his normally bright blue eyes appearing dark with shadows. She backed up against the wall and he stepped closer to her, turning his back to the opening of the alley, blocking the view of any nosey passers-by.

"I apologize if my reaction startled you. It is as I said; it has been a very long time since I have felt the touch of a beautiful woman. And you are a beautiful woman, Bailey. I am sadly not as immune to that fact as I would like to be."

"I almost want to say I'm sorry."

He held up a hand and said, "No, don't take the blame for my weaknesses. You are not at fault." He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and gave her a half smile. "I think I need to pray. A lot."

Bailey choked back a giggle. "Is that what you Chantry boys call it?"

Sebastian started and said, "What?"

She gave him a little smirk and raised her eyebrow.

"Bailey! I…no! I…"

She couldn't help herself and started to laugh as he grew more flustered. "Oh, Sebastian. I'm sorry. I really shouldn't tease you like that."

He lifted one hand, rubbed the back of his neck and gave her a rueful smile. "You would think I'd have grown accustomed to your peculiar sense of humor by now."

"Oh, you've known me less than a year. It takes a bit longer to get used to it."

He chuckled and lifted her hand to brush a light kiss on her knuckles. "I look forward to it, despite what it may do to me in the meantime."

Bailey gasped in feigned indignation. "Why, Sebastian! Are you implying that I might try to corrupt you?"

He grinned down at her and said, "Hardly, my lady. The best have tried and failed."

"Ah, but you see…they weren't me." She winked at him and grinned.

"Well, perhaps we'll have to save the corrupting for another day. I do need to return to my duties at the Chantry."

"And praying. A lot." She nodded solemnly and gave him a very serious look.

His laughter echoed off the walls of the alley as they turned to make their way back into the bright sunshine. Neither one of them noticed the dark haired woman nearby as they emerged from the alley, so they didn't see the calculated smile that suddenly graced the woman's face.

* * *

_Author's Note: Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn! Who is the mysterious woman and why did she smile like that? Okay, so yeah, this isn't an April Fool's joke; it's an actual chapter! Thanks to everyone for being so patient whilst my totally crazy new work schedule suddenly took over my life. Be assured, faithful readers, that I will NOT abandon this story. The next few chapters are going to be very hard to write for me, because...well...I know what's going to happen. Anders and Bailey want me to push through it though, because they want you to know as well. They especially want you to know what happens on the other side of these hard chapters. Hehe...*evil writer tosses out bread crumb like hints*_


	21. Suspicions

It was a quiet morning in the clinic, and Anders leaned his chair back against the wall, propping his feet up his desk. A book lay open across his thighs and he traced a finger down the page as he read. He looked up as the door opened and smiled as Hollie walked in. "Hello," he called and moved his feet. The front legs of his chair thumped to the floor and he stood up.

"Hello, Anders." Hollie looked around. "Slow day?"

He shrugged. "Yes, so far. I was just doing some reading."

"Looks like a heavy tome."

"Just some magical theory. I like to keep sharp on new ideas."

Hollie nodded and looked around again. "Bailey isn't here?"

"No, she usually does the archery thing in the mornings."

"Oh. I thought she'd be back by now. I mean, it looked that way when I saw her this morning…"

Anders tilted his head to the side and crossed his arms. "You saw her?"

"Yes. I was in Hightown; another meeting with the Viscount about the family home. But I was passing the public gate to the Chantry gardens, and I could have sworn I saw her leaving them. I figured she was heading back here."

"Mmmm. I haven't seen her since she left this morning."

"Well, she _was_ accompanied by a dark haired man. I only caught a glimpse of his profile, but he appeared to be young and quite handsome. Who knows what she had planned, right?"

Anders lifted a hand and rested the knuckle of his index finger against his lip. If that had been Bailey that Hollie had seen, then who was it with her? Her instructor, perhaps?

"Anders?"

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Hollie. "Sorry. Just wondering about…"

Hollie gave him a half smile. "Wondering who she's keeping company with? The thought really does bother you doesn't it?"

He sighed and rolled his shoulders. "The question is moot. I explained it to you months ago. So, what brings you here this morning? You don't look ill or injured."

"Oh, I'm fine. Actually, I came to see you." Hollie stepped closer to him and reached out to lay a hand on his chest. "I was wondering if you felt up to a trip to the Bone Pit with me. Apparently, something else is going on out there and Hubert asked me to look into it."

Anders looked down at her hand and then at her face. She had stepped _very_ close to him. He shifted back just a little and said, "Of course. When?"

"Oh, this afternoon. I'd like to get it taken care of as soon as possible."

"I do need to stay here until Bailey gets back."

"That's alright. I'll be back around midday. Will that be a good time?"

"Yes. She is usually home by then. If she isn't, well…I'll leave a note."

Hollie smiled and let her hand trail down over his stomach and away. "Until then, Anders."

She turned and he could have sworn she purposely put an extra sway in her hips as she walked away from him. He slowly shook his head, but he couldn't help smiling. He turned away from the door and walked back over to his desk, intent on finishing the chapter he'd been reading. However, he couldn't seem to forget what Hollie had said about seeing Bailey with a young, handsome man. It couldn't be Carver; Hollie would have recognized her own brother. Maybe it was the Chantry brother that she had told him about, the one that knew about her and this clinic. But no, didn't she say once that was the gardener and was older? Maybe this mystery man _was_ her instructor. She hadn't ever said if he was young or not, just that he was someone the bowyer had known. And if it was her instructor, _why_ were they leaving Chantry grounds?

He growled in frustration as he finally realized he'd read the same passage five times and still had no idea what it said. Slamming the book shut and dropping it on his desk, he stood and grabbed his staff. He quickly scribbled out a note for Bailey and left to seek out Hollie. Maybe she wouldn't mind heading out to the Bone Pit early.

It was early evening by the time he returned home. He, Varric, Hollie, and Merrill had managed to clear out an infestation of giant spiders that had thought the tunnels of the mine were ideal homes. Of course, the miners that had to work there disagreed.

He dragged through the front door of the clinic and found it quiet. Only one lantern was lit, and Bailey was nowhere to be seen. He shut the door and walked toward the back. "Bailey? Are you here?"

"In here, Anders," came her reply from the bathing chamber. It was followed by a rather loud groan of pain.

He stuck his head past the curtain and found her slowly filling the copper pots by the hearth. She moved with a pain he could almost see. Stepping fully through the curtain, his healer instincts kicked in and he said, "Are you alright?"

She groaned again and said, "I'll be better after a long soak in a hot bath. Can you help me get these to the tub?"

He grabbed the two large pots and emptied them into the tub, along with two more. When it was about halfway full, she gave him a truly pitiful look and said, "Could you heat it up? I don't have the patience to wait for the fire to do it."

He quirked his lips into a little smile and stuck his hands into the water. He called a heat spell and within moments, streamers of steam were rising from the surface of the water. "There you are, dear lady. One hot bath, as you ordered."

"Oh my god, Anders, I could kiss you. But now, you have to get out." She pushed him through the curtains that surrounded the tub.

He chuckled and stood outside of the enclosure, listening to her groan in an odd mixture of pain and pleasure when the water splashed softly. The groan was followed by a long sigh. He stood with his hands on his hips for a moment and finally said, "Bailey, what's wrong? You sound like you are in severe pain."

"I can't tell you. It's too embarrassing."

He snorted. "I've held your head while you…how did you put it? Puked your guts out, I believe is what you said."

"Ugh, don't remind me." There was the sound of splashing water, and then she said, "Anders? Um…could you bring in more water? This isn't quite deep enough to cover the bits that hurt."

He blinked rapidly a few times. "You want me to do what?"

"Bring more water, please. I'll cover myself with a towel, geez."

He gulped and turned around to fill the pots again. Grabbing one in each hand, he shouldered through the curtains, his head turned to the side so he wouldn't chance seeing anything. He could hear her laugh softly. "I told you I would cover myself. Nothing is showing, I promise."

He cautiously turned his head a bit and saw she had a towel draped across her body and over the top of her thighs. He quickly poured the water into the tub, pushed a hand in and started heating it for her. She sighed happily and leaned back against the edge of the tub. "Oh, that is perfect. Thank you."

He shook the water from his hand as he retreated and said, "You're welcome." Safely outside the curtains again, he moved to sit on the floor and lean against the wall close to where her head was. "Okay, tell me what you have done that is so embarrassing that has you in this kind of pain."

She was quiet for a moment, then said, "My instructor decided to expand my repertoire of skills."

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I spent the better part of my morning with my legs spread in a most unnatural position."

Anders nearly came to his feet. "You WHAT?"

She laughed then, hearing the obvious indignation in his voice. "On a horse, you silly man. He's been teaching me to ride a horse. Today was the first day I was actually astride."

He sat back down and said, "Oh." Then he did a double take and said, "Wait, are you telling me you don't know how to ride a horse?"

"Yes, I am."

He thought about that for a moment. "How is that possible? Pretty much everyone learns how to ride at an early age."

"Not in my world. Horses were a luxury there, mainly kept for either sport or for recreation. They aren't the main means of travel, so not everyone knows how to ride."

"Okay. So…why did he decide to do this?"

"He wants to take me on an extended hunt for larger game. The horses will make hauling the meat back easier. I told him I didn't know how to ride, so he said he'd teach me."

"How long has this been going on?"

"A bout a month, month and a half. I've been learning how to groom the horses, so I could get more comfortable around them, and learning how to saddle them properly. Like I said, today was the first day I mounted one."

He stretched his legs out in front of him and examined the toes of his boots. He needed to clean them. "Who's horses are you using?"

She was quiet for a moment. "His. He has two."

"Two horses? Bailey, just who is this instructor?"

"No one to be worried about, Anders. I told you, he is someone the bowyer knew and recommended to me. I even got references before I started meeting with him."

He brooded over that for a bit. "This hunt he wants to go on with you. Would it be just the two of you, alone?"

"I really don't know. He might hire someone else to go with us, to help. We haven't exactly reached that point, yet. I barely got the horse to walk today."

He snorted quietly. "I have to say, I really don't like the idea at all."

"Anders, you seem to have forgotten the part about me being a grown woman that can defend herself should the need arise." She was quiet for a moment, then said, "I appreciate your concern, though."

He pushed himself up to his feet and said, "Just be careful, alright?"

"I will. Um, Anders?"

"Yes?"

"Think you could make dinner tonight?"

He chuckled. "I'll throw something together. I can't guarantee it will be as delicious as anything you might do, but it will fill the empty spot."

"That's fine."

"Enjoy your bath, Bailey. I'll let you know when it's ready."

"Thank you."

He went back out into the clinic and lit a couple more lanterns, then moved into the kitchen to find something for their dinner. Seeing a fresh round of bread, he grabbed it and sliced it open, then layered slices of cheese and meat onto the bottom half. After spreading some spicy mustard sauce onto the top half of the loaf and placing it back onto the top, he cut the round into 4 pieces and grabbed a couple of plates. Two pieces went onto each plate, which were then placed on the table. He stepped back over to the bathing chamber and poked his head through the curtain. "Bailey…it's ready."

"Alright. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Anders turned and went to pour two mugs of tea and set them next to the plates. He was halfway through one of his sandwiches when Bailey joined him. She sat down with a little sigh and gave him a pained smile. He furrowed his eyebrows and swallowed. "After dinner, I'm going to fix that pain for you. No arguing."

"I'm going to hurt like this tomorrow, too."

"Then I'll fix it again."

"Anders…"

"No arguing. It won't affect your lessons if you aren't in pain."

"It would be nice to walk straight."

He gave her a little smile as she bit into her sandwich. "The healers did the same for us apprentices when we were learning. But the pain will go away when your muscles have become accustomed to the exercise."

She nodded as she chewed and swallowed. "That's what Jonathan told me this afternoon."

"Jonathan? Is that your instructor?"

"No, he's the farrier that owns the stable where the horses are housed. But enough about me. Where were you this afternoon? Your note only said you were out for a bit."

"Oh. I was with Hollie. She asked me, Varric, and Merrill to help her clear out a nest of spiders that had taken up residence in some of the tunnels at the Bone Pit. The miners weren't very happy about their presence."

Bailey shuddered visible. "I should think not. In my world, spiders are small enough that you can step on them. They should not be big enough that you could saddle one and ride it."

"Well, you couldn't anyway. You're still learning to ride." He laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him. They finished their dinner and then he pointed her to one of the empty exam tables. She lay down on it and he placed both of his hands on the outside of her thigh. As his hands began to give off a soft blue light, he said, "You know, a massage could help this, too. I think you can get one at the Rose…"

She cut him off quickly. "No! No more massages at the Rose for me."

He gave her look, his eyebrow quirked. "What? Bailey, have you…?"

"Never mind, Anders. Don't ask. I'll just say that Isabela is evil, and leave it at that."

"Ah, Isabela is involved. Enough said." He removed his hands from her thigh and moved them to the other one. A few moments later, Bailey sighed with relief.

"That feels soooo much better. Again, Anders, I could kiss you." She sat up as he pulled his hands away and smiled at him.

He stood there gazing at her, a half smile on his face. "You have said that twice tonight." He leaned forward and placed his hands on the table on each side of her, bringing his face closer to hers. "So are you going to, or not?"

Her eyebrows shot up as her mouth fell open a little. The memory of the last time she had kissed him flashed into her mind. "Um…it's just an expression. Meaning what you have done for me is so wonderful, words aren't enough to thank you."

He continued to look into her eyes for a few more moments before he chuckled again and moved away from her. "I know, Bailey. I was only jesting with you." He turned away, unable to keep himself from remembering the feel of her lips against his. He sighed softly and pushed the thought away.

The rest of the week continued in almost the same pattern. Bailey would come home from her lessons sore, he would heal the muscle cramps, and they went about with their regular clinic work. Eventually, the pain did decrease for her, just as he had told her, and she began to actually enjoy the rides, often coming home with several bunches of herbs and plants that she had collected while she was out. He even managed to halfway forget about his jealousy over the time she was spending with this mystery instructor; that is, until Varric came to see them one evening after dinner. He strolled through the front door and gave them a wave. "Evening, Blondie. Blossom, you are looking as lovely as ever."

"Varric, you charmer. Careful, I don't want Bianca angry with me."

"She doesn't bite unless I tell her to, and she'd never bite you."

"So what brings you to Darktown, Varric?" Anders asked.

"Well, just checking on some rumors. And there was this," he said, pulling a folded square of cream colored parchment from inside his jacket. He extended it toward Bailey with a smile. "I was asked to make sure you received this safely."

Bailey cocked an eyebrow in confusion as she took it from him. Once glance at the handwriting caused her to smile. She looked up at Anders, his eyes asking the question. "It's from Carver," she said. She stood and said, "I'll go put it in my room to read later."

As she walked away, Anders turned his head to watch her. He'd forgotten completely about Carver asking if he could write to her. His eyes closed for a moment as he let out a breath. When he opened them again, he found Varric grinning at him. "Shut up, Varric," he growled softly.

Varric held up his hands, palms out. "I said nothing, Blondie."

"Exactly. But you have a talent for saying so much without speaking."

Varric shrugged. "It's a gift." He turned his head as Bailey walked back out to join them. "So, Blossom. How are the riding lessons going?"

Bailey started and said, "How did you know about that?"

"I have my ways. So? Going to answer or not?"

She sat down and made vague gesture with one hand. "They are going okay. The pain isn't as bad anymore, and Anders helps with that. I'm learning how to control her with my knees, since Se…my instructor wants me to learn how to shoot my bow from the saddle. He said it never hurts to learn that skill."

Anders looked over at her as it sounded like she had almost said the name of this instructor. She had been meeting with him for nearly nine months and still hadn't said his name. It made his danger senses tingle…not to mention a certain kind of paranoia about the man's identity. He turned his head again as Varric nodded and said, "It is a useful skill, especially if you are being chased by something…or you are chasing something yourself. Me, I don't really like riding horses. I am much more of a carriage kind of man. I'll let someone else drive for me, thank you."

He then turned to look at Anders. "Those rumors I mentioned; the Carta are starting to act up again. I don't think it has to do with Hollie and her family this time, but something has them worked up. Just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Thanks, Varric. I'll keep an eye out, especially in the evenings."

Varric gave him a nod and bid them both a good night. He left and Anders bolted the door behind him. As he turned to face Bailey, he found her on her feet and heading back to her bedroom. "I'm a bit tired tonight, Anders. I'm going to see what Carver has to say and go to bed early."

He tilted his head at her and said, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah. I'm just tired. Good night, Anders."

"Good night, Bailey." She disappeared behind her curtains, leaving him alone with the thoughts running through his head. Most of them were unpleasant, and directed at Carver and this still unknown instructor. He raged silently until Justice broke through the tirade. _'Silence! Would you lock her away as you were and deny her the freedom to live her own life? You would be no better than the Templars.'_ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. Justice was right. And it was himself, after all, that had chosen to not be involved with her. So he couldn't really be angry if she had moved on, could he?

A few more weeks passed, and he found himself at the Hanged Man, enjoying a drink and a rousing game of Wicked Grace with Varric and Fenris when Hollie came in. She sat down next to him and gave him a smile. Varric dealt her into the game, and as she arranged her cards, she looked around. "Am I the only female here tonight?"

"Bailey was here, and Merrill, but then Isabela dragged them both out for some kind of 'girl's night', to use her words," Anders said. "I suppose they didn't know you would be coming tonight."

"Oh, I don't mind. It just means I have the best looking men in the room all to myself now." Her eyes lingered especially longer on Anders, and he shifted a bit uncomfortably on his chair. "So, what's the opening bid?"

As the games went on and the stakes went higher, the evening passed by quicker than they thought. Anders volunteered to walk Hollie back to her uncle's house, and as he did so, she brought up the subject of Bailey. "I've been seeing Bailey leaving the city, leading a very fine looking horse."

He glanced over at her. "She's been taking riding lessons. Her archery instructor thought she should learn."

Hollie lifted an eyebrow. "So she what? Bought a horse?"

"No, apparently the man owns two horses, and he's been letting her ride one."

"Mmm. Odd."

"What's odd?"

"Well, the past few times I've seen her, I didn't see anyone with her. Just her and the horse." Hollie looked up at Anders. "You know…I've also seen her going into a noble's house a few times, too."

Anders stopped and turned to face Hollie. "You seem to be hinting at something, only I'm not catching on. Out with it."

Hollie waved a hand in the air. "I'm just wondering how she is able to afford these lessons. I mean, things have been pretty quiet lately, so I haven't been paying you for helping me out on jobs. And I know she sells those soaps and such, but surely that can't be enough to cover everything."

Anders finally grasped what Hollie was saying and narrowed his eyes. "Are you accusing her of…of," he looked around and lowered his voice, "selling herself?"

"I'm just wondering where the money is coming from, that is all."

Anders stared at her. "No. Bailey would never do that. She has no reason to."

Hollie raised an eyebrow again. "Are you so sure you know her well enough to say whether she would or not?"

She turned to continue walking, and Anders turned to walk behind her. He scoffed inwardly at Hollie's accusation, but a tiny and dark part of his mind began to wonder, as well. By the next morning, he had managed to convince himself that Hollie was just making noise…until Bailey came home and dropped a large number of coins into the clinic's supply fund. When he asked her about it, she shrugged and said, "The soap and oils have sold really well this month. In fact, I need to get started on next month's batch. I'll be in the workroom."

The reasoning made sense to him and pushed Hollie's words out of his mind. He knew Bailey wouldn't go to such lengths, no matter what the need.

Then came the afternoon when a boy of about twelve showed up in the clinic. He was better dressed than the other boys of his age in Darktown, and he looked around nervously as he entered the clinic. "Hello, there. Can I help you?" Anders asked him.

The boy looked up and said, "I'm looking for Serrah Bailey."

"Ah, then you've come to the right place. She's in the workroom. That curtained doorway right back there," he said, pointing to the back. He watched as the boy walked to the back and knocked on the door frame.

Bailey walked out and smiled at the boy. She took the folded parchment he handed her and read it. Anders heard her say, "Tell him that the time change is fine with me, and I hope all is well."

The boy nodded and turned, giving Anders a small smile as he walked past him and out of the clinic. Anders pulled his eyebrows together and turned to walk to the workroom. He pushed the curtain aside and said, "Is everything alright?"

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Everything is fine. Why do you ask?"

He jerked his head once back towards the door. "Messenger boys?"

"Oh, that. It's just a standing appointment, and my client asked for a time change."

"Client?"

She sighed and said, "Yes, Anders. I do have other things that I do besides work here."

"Alright. I was just concerned that something might be wrong."

She turned and gave him a small smile. "I appreciate it. Now, go. Althea will be here soon, and I'm going to be showing her how to press oils, so I need to get things ready."

He left her to prepare, heading back into the clinic. _'Clients? She has clients? What sort and just what does she do for them?'_ He found himself starting to wonder if maybe Hollie had seen something he hadn't. That dark part of his mind began presenting him with all sorts of images, each one worse than the last. He shook his head hard to dispel them and thought, _'Stop it! She wouldn't! She wouldn't do what Hollie hinted at! She just wouldn't…'_

He looked over at the large jar of flour in the kitchen where they kept the bag of coins hidden, and remembered the last handful she had added to it. _'Or would she?'_

* * *

_Author's Note: So...does that clear up who the dark haired woman in the last chapter was, and why she smiled like that? But seriously, how could Anders even consider that? As for just what Bailey has been doing...well, that will be in the next chapter...which is already halfway written! I was working on it simultaneously with this chapter, so you all won't have to wait so long for the next update! Again, thanks for sticking with me! And just because, more exclamation points! XP_


	22. Confrontations

Bailey straightened from the crouch she'd been in for the past half hour and stretched her back, causing it to make small popping sounds as she twisted from side to side. Taking a few steps back, she wiped the back of her hand across her forehead as she surveyed the work she had been doing.

Hearing the door open, she turned and saw a richly dressed and _very_ pregnant young woman walk into the room. The lady clasped her hands together just under her chin, her eyes wide and shining as she gazed at the walls. "Oh, Bailey! It's simply beautiful," she cried.

Bailey began to smile but quickly hid it behind a look of concern. "Colleen! You shouldn't be up and about, much less be around these paint fumes!"

Colleen gave her a pout. "Oh, poo. You sound like Sean. Honestly, I'm fine. And I just couldn't wait any longer."

"Then at least sit down, please." Bailey pulled a stool over to the woman and helped her lower her weight onto it. Colleen's eyes darted from wall to wall and she clasped Bailey's hand, oblivious to the paint smears upon it.

Bailey gave her a smile and said, "So it meets with your approval?"

"It's more beautiful than I could have imagined. Oh, I just knew, the day I saw those drawings in Sasha's shop, I had to have the artist paint my nursery." She turned to look up at Bailey. "Thank you so much for taking this commission."

Bailey squeezed her hand and said, "It's been my pleasure." She looked around the room and tried to see it through her patron's eyes. It had been a long three months, but the job was nearing completion. It might have taken longer, but Sebastian had left two months ago to visit some of the noble families around Starkhaven to garner their support. That had left her mornings open to work on this project. Just a few more final touches and the furniture could be uncovered and moved into place. _'Good thing, too. It's getting harder and harder to hide this from Anders,'_ Bailey thought. But after her final payment, she would have enough to purchase the ring Merrill had found at the trinket shop in Lowtown. It was enchanted to provide a boost to healing spells, which would help Anders out with his work in the clinic. Her attention was brought back to Colleen when she said, "You are almost finished, aren't you?"

"I'm afraid so. I expect to be done when I leave today."

"Oh, but you will be back to finish that bit over the cradle, yes?" Colleen pointed to a spot on one wall that depicted a few birds holding a cloth banner aloft. Bailey's plan was to paint the child's name on the banner after the birth.

"Of course I will." She looked up as a man a few years older than Colleen walked into the room and came to a stop near them. His bright green eyes took in the room and he turned to smile at both of them.

"I guessed I would find you here, my love," he said, bending to place a kiss on Colleen's forehead.

"Sean, isn't wonderful? I think it's beautiful!" Colleen beamed up at him, one hand resting on the swell of her stomach.

Sean lovingly caressed her cheek and looked up at Bailey. "Indeed, Serrah Bailey. You have given my child a most wonderful room to grow in. I do hope that you will visit after the birth, and not wielding a paint brush."

"It would be my honor, Serrah." She inclined her head slightly as she spoke.

Sean turned to his wife and said, "Come, precious. Let us leave the artist to finish her work and get you some fresh air. Would you like to walk in the garden? The flowers are starting to bloom, and I know you've hated being cooped up this winter."

He helped Colleen to her feet and they left the room with a smile. Sean turned back and said, "Have someone find me before you leave, so that I may give you your payment." With that, he turned and escorted his wife from the room.

Two hours later, Bailey smiled to herself as she made her way through Hightown, a cloth satchel with her paints and brushes draped crossways over her body, and a basket of potions and herbal mixes on her arm. The pouch on her hip contained two small coin purses, one of which was her final payment, the other containing a small percentage of the overall total as an extra bonus. Sean had promised to send her a message through Sasha when the child was born, and Colleen had hugged her and made her promise to visit. There was also mention of a future family portrait commission, if she would be interested. She grinned inwardly and almost skipped down the stairs to the Lowtown Bazaar. One more stop and then she could head back to the clinic for the day.

The morning had been quiet with Bailey gone, so Anders had taken advantage of it. His desk was covered with pages filled with his thoughts and ideas for bringing freedom to the mages of Thedas. He turned slightly as the door opened and saw Hollie and Merrill walk in, followed by a dark haired man that seemed somehow familiar. He had a bow and quiver on his back, and the white fletchings of the arrows tugged on an old memory that Anders couldn't quite place.

"Hollie! What brings you here today?" Anders stood to greet her and glanced at the man.

"Well, actually, you do. I need your help." She turned to indicate the man that was standing next to her. "You remember Prince…"

"Sebastian?"

Three pairs of eyes turned quickly to the door. Bailey stood there, a basket in her arms and her eyes glued to the archer. He, in turn, gaped back at her for a moment before hurrying to her side. "Bailey? What are you doing here? Are you ill or injured?"

Bailey closed her eyes for a moment and sighed heavily. Her voice was quiet as she spoke. "I was afraid this might happen." She looked back up at Sebastian and said, "No, I'm not ill or injured. Give me just a moment and I will explain."

He looked confused but nodded and stepped aside to let her enter the clinic. She walked towards Anders, who was giving her the same confused look as the other man. Hollie just looked back and forth between everyone and crossed her arms, waiting for the fireworks, while Merrill looked confused. Bailey set the basket on the table in front of her and said, "I delivered the potions and poultices to Lirene. She wanted to let you know that there have been a few people complaining of scratchy throats and stuffy noses, so I'm thinking we are about to see several cases of seasonal allergies. In preparation for such, I picked up some more mint and anise root. I'll get started working on the mixtures later this afternoon. Also, she sent a pie. I think it's rhubarb. It's wrapped up in the bottom of the basket, so you might want to get it out and put it somewhere safe before the crust gets broken."

She looked up at Anders, who was simply staring down at her, his arms crossed over his chest and his lips pressed together so tightly, they were a thin slash across his face. His eyes flashed with a golden fire and he said very softly, "How do you know the Prince, Bailey? And apparently well enough that you address him so familiarly."

Sebastian watched the exchange between the two of them and sudden realization washed over him. "Bailey…this…is the clinic you told me of? Here? With this…apostate?" He looked around and he noticed the kitchen in the back corner, along with several other touches that made it apparent this was not just a clinic, but a home. Another revelation hit him and he turned shocked eyes on her. "You _live_ here, as well? With _him_?"

Anders turned hot eyes toward the other man. "So what if she does? It's none of your business."

Sebastian started to bristle and opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by Bailey's sharply hissed word. "Boys!"

She glared at Anders and said, "You, put the pie away so it doesn't get broken. I will explain to you after I've finished forcing some perspective into Sebastian's head." She turned on her heel, pointed at Sebastian and said, "You. Outside. Now." She stalked past him and went through the door.

Sebastian's eyes narrowed for a moment as he watched her walk past him, then he turned and followed her out. She was standing a good distance away from the doors, her back to him and her shoulders stiff with tension. He approached her and heatedly said, "Serrah Bailey."

She turned to look up at him and said, "Okay, if you want to play that game, fine. Your Highness." She dropped into a mocking curtsey.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "No, Bailey. I do not wish for us to go back to that." He lowered his hand and stared at her, his bright blue eyes holding a look of accusation. "I _would_ like to know why you were not truthful with me."

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at her feet. "Because I was afraid of this exact reaction if you ever found out the truth," she said quietly. "So, I just…left out a few details."

He tilted his head back as if seeking guidance. "A lie of omission is still a lie, Bailey." He looked down at her. "I thought you simply didn't want me knowing where you lived and worked because you were ashamed, so I never pushed the issue."

She met his gaze. "Shame was never the reason. I think it's obvious now why I didn't tell you. I know the risks of what I've done."

Sebastian's long time Chantry training kicked in. "You've helped an apostate. By rights, I should be running straight to the Templars to turn you both in."

Bailey stared at him for a moment, then walked over to the railing nearby. She turned and gestured at him to join her. When he did, he saw that he had a good view down into Darktown. Bailey pointed at a woman walking towards them, a small toddler holding onto her skirts. "You see that woman and child?"

He nodded and she continued. "She went into labor about 4 hours before dawn. Anders had been out on a late night run with Hollie and had been asleep for only an hour when the lady's oldest daughter came to get him. He got dressed without a complaint and we went to her home. The babe was turned in the womb, and would have been born feet first, which would have caused the baby to strangle on its own cord as it entered the world. It took him an hour to get the babe turned the right way so it would live. The child finally arrived after another 4 hours of labor. Anders never complained of how tired he was. He congratulated her on a healthy child, and continued to monitor the babe's health for another six months until he was certain she showed no lasting trauma from the events of her birth."

Sebastian looked at the little girl; she appeared to be a healthy and normal toddler. Bailey pointed at another man. "That man had a burst appendix. He was slowly being poisoned by his own body and would have died. Anders saved him."

She continued to point out various people that Anders had helped in some way. Finally she turned to him and said, "And lest we forget, he saved _my_ life as well. If not for him, I would have been killed by a random Darkspawn two years ago. Do you understand yet? Do you get what it is that he and I offer to these people? Remember, these are the people that Kirkwall didn't want. Anders saw a need and he has filled it, helping these people with his gift. Yes, I said 'gift'. Because that is what it is. His magic is not a curse, no matter what your Chantry might say. I've seen him do more good with his magic in the past two years than I've ever seen from the Chantry."

He started to defend the Chantry, but his words were cut off again. He looked at her and saw her grey eyes had taken on a silvery color, like the color of clouds before a thunderstorm. "Do you know why I started making the soaps and selling my drawings, Sebastian? It wasn't to gain any sort of notoriety; far from it. I don't want to be known like that. It's too dangerous for me. No, I started doing those things so that he and I could purchase the supplies we needed to provide the services we do. It may be nothing more than a bandage on a cut or a bowl of soup when someone is hungry, but to the person that receives it, it makes a world of difference."

Her voice grew hard as she flung a hand out towards the streets of Darktown. "Take a look, _Brother_ Sebastian. Do you see any sisters or Mothers down here, administering to the wretched, the poor, the sick, and needy? Do you see any brothers? No, you don't. But you will find an apostate mage and his assistant gladly giving of their own time and money to help, at the risk of their own lives."

She stepped closer to him and poked his chest. "Think about that for a little while. Then decide if you still truly feel like you have to turn us in, just because of what you've been told to think for half of your life. Become the man I know you are capable of being and make your own decisions."

She pushed past him and stalked back over to the doorway. Sebastian watched her go, his head and heart suddenly in a conflict. He looked out over the people she had pointed out. The mother and her little girl had stopped almost right below him. The little girl stared up at him for a moment before she suddenly smiled and gave him a wave with a tiny hand. His eyesight blurred as he gave her a wave in return. His knees gave way, and he found himself kneeling in the dirt of the lowest place in the city. With sudden clarity, he knew what he had to do, though it may cost him everything.

Bailey walked past Hollie, grabbed Anders by the arm and dragged him into the storage room. She let go of his arm, stared at him for a moment and then punched him hard on his shoulder. He yelped and grabbed his arm. "What was that for?"

She glared at him and said, "For not trusting me. I swear, I am so freaking tired of having to tell you over and over again to have some damn faith in me. I thought we were finally past that, but apparently not."

He glared back and said, "You could have just told me the truth." He suddenly leaned back and pulled his eyebrows together. "Wait…what _is_ the truth about the Prince? How do you know him?"

"Oh, for…don't tell me you didn't notice the big bow strapped to his back."

Anders gazed at her then sudden understanding lit his eyes. "_He's_ been your archery teacher the past year? The one you've been meeting…" His voice trailed off.

"At the Chantry gardens. Yes."

He narrowed his eyes at her and said, "He's not the only one, though is he?"

She knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. "What?"

"All the extra coin you've been bringing home. Did you earn that while you were 'riding'?" he asked, his tone mocking. "Or did you prefer a more traditional position for that?"

His words hit Bailey like a kick to the stomach. She rocked back, her mouth open with shock. Her eyes narrowed and flashed in anger, and her voice was deceptively quiet as she said, "Did you just accuse me of being a whore?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and said, "It's obvious you excel in charming men. You certainly had Carver wrapped around your finger in no time. Even Fenris was nice to you, and he's not nice to anyone. And now, you have a Prince. Moving up in the world, aren't you?"

Bailey stared at him, anger and hurt clouding her mind. She fought the sudden burst of tears in her eyes and said, "You bastard."

She turned away from him and stepped over to the nearest work table. Reaching into her pouch, she pulled out the ring she had finally been able to purchase that day and laid it on the table. She set a hand next to it and said, "You know, I thought that if I just gave you some time, you would finally see that I'm a woman capable of taking care of myself and of protecting you and your secret. I thought that if I just waited a bit longer, you might even lo…" Her voice broke and she hung her head for a moment before turning back around to face him. Her face was grim and her eyes hard as she said, "I'm tired of waiting."

Her hand lifted and wrapped around the cord of the necklace he had given to her only months after they had come to Kirkwall. With a sharp jerk, she snapped the cord and laid it next to the ring. Her fingers traced the meticulously carved flowers before she stepped away from the table and stood in front of him.

Anders stared down at her, his arms still crossed over his chest. His heart was pounding and Justice was practically screaming at him to apologize and to do it quickly. Bailey lifted a hand and his head suddenly snapped to the right. A moment later, his cheek burned as if he'd scrubbed it with a cloth made of briars. He slowly turned his head back as he heard her say, "That's for calling me a whore." His other cheek began to burn as her other hand made contact with it. "And that is for even daring to think I would do something like that."

He turned his head to watch her as she flung the curtain aside and turned to her right. He lifted a hand and rubbed at his cheek, tempted to send a bit of healing through it to calm the sting, but resisted. Instead, he stepped over to the table to see what it was she had laid down. He picked up her necklace and cradled it in his hand, staring at it for a moment before picking up the other object. A tingle went through his hand and he examined it closer. When he realized what the enchantment was, he closed his eyes and felt his stomach rolling with sudden sickness.

He turned and pushed through the curtain, the ring still clutched in one hand, her necklace in the other. He stuck his head through the curtains to her room and found it empty. He turned and walked towards Hollie and Merrill. It was Merrill that confirmed what a huge mistake he'd just made. She gave him a nervous but sweet smile and said, "You shouldn't be so angry with Bailey. She just wanted to surprise you and she's been working so hard, painting that nursery for that lovely couple in Hightown. If you want to blame someone, I should be the one. I told her about the ring, after all."

Anders rocked to a halt and said, "She's been doing what?"

Merrill twisted her fingers together and said, "Painting. A nursery for a couple in Hightown. For their first baby. It's taken her months, but she stopped by my house earlier today to tell me she was finished and asked me to go with her to buy the ring for you."

He turned and speared Hollie with a glare. She held up her hands and said, "I only told you I'd seen her going into one of the noble's houses. I never said she was doing…well…_that_."

He closed his eyes and damned himself as every kind of fool he could think of and a few he was sure hadn't been thought of yet. He rushed past them and out the door, only to stop short as he spotted the Prince leaning over the railing nearby. He walked over to stand next to him and looked down.

Sebastian glanced over at him and turned his head back to stare down at the street below him. Anders spoke softly and said, "She's gone, isn't she?"

Sebastian nodded and Anders sighed. "Did she say anything to you?"

Sebastian stood straight and turned to face Anders. "Only that if I cared, I would leave her alone for a time." He turned his face away and said, "Should we go after her?"

Anders shook his head and said, "No. She wouldn't want to see me right now anyway. Quite possibly never again, actually."

Sebastian turned and leaned his hips against the railing and crossed his arms over his chest. He studied the blond haired man next to him for a moment before speaking. "Bailey is one of the most caring and selfless people I have had the honor of knowing. I don't know what passed between you in there, but when she came out, she had the look of someone whose world had just shattered. That alone makes me want to simply punch you, but yet, the way she defended you and what you have done for the people here makes me want to see if you really are as good a man as she says you are. Perhaps stupid and foolish at times, but a good man nonetheless." He straightened and held his hand out towards Anders. "Allow me to introduce myself properly. I'm Sebastian Vale."

Anders looked at the hand extended towards him. He turned his eyes up to meet Sebastian's. "Not Prince? Not Brother?"

Sebastian shrugged. "For now, I'm not really a Prince. And let's just say that my…conviction is not as it once was." He continued to hold his hand out.

Anders stared at it, then hesitantly took it. "Anders. Apostate, colossal fool and ass."

Sebastian chuckled. "Women tend to make us that way." He sobered and stared hard at Anders. "But believe me when I say that I am not a fool, nor an ass. I will work with you, because I need help with my own cause. I may even come to respect you. But if you ever give Bailey cause to have that look upon her face again, I will not hesitate to lay you flat on your back."

Anders pulled his hand away and said, "No need to worry on that account. After what I did, I'll be lucky if she doesn't turn me into her own personal archery target the next time she lays eyes on me." He sighed and turned towards the door of the clinic. "Come in, Sebastian. I'm curious to know what it is you and Hollie have need of me for."

Bailey swiped a hand over her eyes as she pushed open the door to the Hanged Man. Her nose was thankfully stuffy from crying, so she wasn't affected by the odor. She glanced over at the bar where Isabela would usually be, but the woman was nowhere to be seen. She gave Nora a small wave as she walked through the main room and headed up the stairs to Varric's suite.

She found him sitting at his table with several sheets of parchment spread in front of him, making notations on one sheet while studying another. She stopped, suddenly feeling like she might be intruding. She had turned to leave when Varric looked up and saw her. "Blossom! What brings you here in the middle of the day?"

Bailey stood there and twisted her hands in the hem of her shirt, trying to find the words to tell him. To her embarrassment, tears began falling over her cheeks again.

Varric saw the tears and sighed, then pushed his papers away. He reached over and picked up a napkin left over from his lunch, spread it across his shoulder and held out an arm to her. Bailey ran to him, knelt down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder, sobbing. He patted her head and let her cry. As the sobs began to grow quieter, he said, "Tell me; what did the mean old mage do this time?"

Bailey sat back on her heels, took the napkin from his shoulder and began wiping her face. "He…he accused me of horrible things. I mean, yes, I shouldn't have kept Sebastian a secret, but there was that whole Chantry brother thing…and okay, I should have told him I'd taken a commission to paint a nursery, but I was trying to keep that a secret so I could buy him a present…but then Hollie showed up at the clinic today with Sebastian and it just all blew up."

Varric listened to her ramble and nodded. When she finished, he gave her a little smile and said, "You'd make a horrible storyteller, Blossom. Why don't you start at the beginning? Who is Sebastian?"

Bailey explained everything; meeting Sebastian by chance in the Chantry garden and how he offered to help her with archery, the riding lessons, the painting commission, keeping it all from Anders, because she didn't want him exposed to anyone from the Chantry. When she finished with Anders' parting shot about her supposed activities to earn the extra money, she slumped and said, "I'm so tired, Varric. I just want to go home."

He scratched his chin and said, "I could probably try to get you on a merchant caravan headed for the Anderfels. Want me to check into it?"

Bailey shook her head and said, "No. I mean, _home_." He looked confused and she sighed. "Alright. You have been dying to know the real story. You are about to get your wish granted. Only one other person in this city knows the truth about me, and well…he can go suck on a hornet's nest. But you have to promise you will keep this to yourself. Swear it, because honestly, my life literally depends on it. If the wrong people ever found out about me…"

Varric's eyes twinkled. "I take it back; you might make a decent storyteller after all. You certainly have my attention."

"Okay. You see, it all started with this cave…"

Uncounted minutes and one tankard of Dwarven brew later, Bailey finally ended her story with, "…and that was when you, Carver, and Hollie came into the clinic. The rest you know."

Varric leaned back in his chair and contemplated what she had told him. It really was an incredible story, almost unbelievable, but then again, from what little bit Bailey had told him of her world, they wouldn't believe that a place where dragons and magic were real existed, either. He heaved a sigh and said, "That would make a great story. But I gave my word. And I'm sorry I can't help you get home any better than An…_he_ was able to."

Bailey gave him a small smile. "It's okay, Varric. I know you can't. But honestly, it feels good that someone else knows the truth about me."

"Well, I have to say, it _does_ explain some of your…shall we say, stranger quirks and phrases?"

"I'm sure it does." She crossed her arms on the table in front of her and leaned down to cradle her head on them for a moment. "I can't stay there anymore. Not after today." She lifted her head to look at him. "Think I could stay here?"

Varric's eyes opened wide as he said, "Blossom, I'm flattered, really, but I'm not into humans."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't mean your suite. I mean one of the rooms down the hall or something."

He shook his head. "No need for that." When Bailey cocked an eyebrow in curiosity, he gave her a mysterious smile. "You see, what a lot of people don't know is that when I received my first profits from that expedition, I invested it. Just little things, here and there. A few small businesses. A bit of land. Real estate."

She sat up straighter and stared at him. He grinned and said, "One of the properties I purchased is a house here in Lowtown. It's not very big, but is in good condition. Only has four rooms, but there is a small private garden area attached to it. Just perfect for someone that might be interested in perhaps, oh, I don't know…growing herbs?"

Bailey's mouth dropped open as he spoke. When he finished, she quietly said, "You'd…you'd let me live there?"

He tilted his head and said, "Well, _I_ would, certainly. But sadly, the Merchants Guild would take away my token if I didn't charge you at least something."

Bailey slumped again and said, "Oh. I don't know how much I could afford, though. I mean, I never know just how well my stuff in Sasha's shop will sell, or if I might sell a drawing or get a commission or something…"

Varric held up a hand to stop her. She closed her mouth and he grabbed a piece of parchment and scribbled something on it, folded it, and pushed it towards her. "How about this? Due on the first of each month, with a grace period of five days. A penalty will be added for each additional day after that."

Bailey unfolded the paper with some trepidation. After reading it, she looked up at him and said, "Varric, I don't know if I could do this. I mean…"

"Those are my terms. Can you accept them?"

She read the paper a second time and sighed. "It doesn't really seem fair, but alright." She held out her hand to him. "It's a deal."

He took it and said, "Agreed, then. Tell you what; why don't you go back to the clinic and gather up some things that you will need for the next few days. I'll write up this contract and when you come back, we can make it all legal on paper, then I can take you to see the house. There are already some furnishings in place, and if you need any more, I can get them for you."

Bailey stood up and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Thank you, Varric."

"Bah. Go get your things. I still need to see about hiring some men to help you move your larger items, too."

Anders trudged slowly through the streets of Darktown, headed back to the clinic. It was early morning, and he'd been with a patient for most of the night. He kept his head tilted down, studying the ground below his feet as he went over the events of _that_ day in his mind.

It had been only three days, but it seemed longer. He hadn't seen Bailey anywhere, and neither had anyone else he'd asked. Fenris had just sneered at him and muttered something about her finally coming to her senses. It had been all Anders could do to refrain from setting the elf's hair on fire. Merrill had been almost inconsolable, thinking that she was the cause for Bailey's disappearance. He'd finally convinced her that she'd done nothing wrong, although it had taken some persuading. Aveline, of course, was too busy with being the Captain of the Guard, and Hollie didn't have any clue either. He planned on asking Isabela and Varric that evening. He hadn't sought out Sebastian, for obvious reasons.

As he walked up the stairs that led to the landing outside his clinic, he was nearly run down by a large man carrying a chest. "Hey!" he snapped. "Watch where you're going!" The man just gave him a shrug and kept walking. Anders stared after him, a scowl on his face. It finally registered on him that the man was holding one of Bailey's chests. "Hey! Where are you going with that?" He turned and caught up with the man and grabbed his arm.

The man turned to him and said, "Look, I'm taking it where the lady in there", he jerked his head back toward the clinic, "told me to take it. Her house up in Lowtown. You got a problem, take it up with her." He turned and left Anders standing there, his mouth halfway open in confusion.

Anders turned and raced up the stairs and into the clinic, skidding to a halt as another man walked past him with another of Bailey's trunks on his shoulder. He took a deep breath and walked calmly to the back, where he could see her curtains were pulled open. He stopped just outside of them and saw her bent over her stripped bed, placing things into a small box. His blood pounded in his ears and he softly cleared his throat to get her attention.

Bailey looked up and saw Anders standing a few feet away, the expression on his face that of someone who was trying to maintain a carefully blank look. She said nothing and turned her attention back to gathering the rest of her things. When she sensed he hadn't left, she sighed and said, "What do you want, Anders?"

He flinched at the tone of her voice. It was almost hard and cold, not like her at all. He shifted his feet and finally said, "You're leaving?"

She turned and gave him an incredulous look. "Did you think I would stay here? I mean, you made it pretty clear to me how your mind is working these days." She shoved another item into the box and said rather nastily, "Besides, I need somewhere more private for my new profession, after all." She gave him a glare.

"Bailey…"

"Don't. Just…don't," she snapped. "I think you already said enough, don't you?" She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head and turned away from him.

Anders closed his eyes and drooped. He turned away from her and went into his own room, letting the curtains hide her away from his eyes. His chest felt tight as he sat down on the side of his bed. A few minutes later, he heard her just on the other side of his curtains.

"Varric's given me a place up in Lowtown. It's not very big, but…" Bailey trailed off and then sighed heavily. This was so much harder with him actually here. She had hoped to have everything and be gone before he returned. She didn't want to say goodbye to him; it was too final, and a small part of her heart cried out in terror of completely shutting him out of her life. So instead, she dredged up some of the French she learned in high school. "_Au revoir_, Anders."

'_Till we see each other again…'_

Anders held his breath until he heard the door of the clinic open and close. That soft 'click' felt like a hammer blow, and the tightness in his chest expanded over his entire body. He clumsily dug into the pouch on his left hip until his fingers brushed over the object he was looking for. He pulled it out and cradled the small pendant in his palm, brushing the fingers of his other hand over the surface. _'Perhaps…this is for the best, yes? I mean, you were always saying that she deserved so much better, and maybe this could be her chance…'_ The thought trailed off, as if Justice were unsure about the situation. Unable to contain them anymore, the pain and self-anger washed through him. His shoulders shook as Anders braced his elbows on his knees and leaned forward to cradle his head in his hands, Bailey's necklace dangling between his fingers. The cord held a faint scent of her skin and the soap she always used; honeysuckle and amber. He inhaled sharply and lifted his head. In a sudden decision, he tied the cord around his own neck. It would be a reminder of his own stupidity and how, with just a few words, he had lost the one person in this world who had truly mattered to him. It fell just above the pendant that she had carved for him and he vowed silently that somehow, someway, a day would come when she would wear it again…and he would be the one to place it back onto her neck.


	23. New Life

_**Cloudreach 30, 9:32, 25 days P.A. (Post Anders)**_

_It's been just a little under a month since I left the clinic. Sometimes it seems so much longer, but at the same time, I can't believe it's been such a short time. Varric has been great in getting me all the furnishings I need and Merrill and Isabela have helped me put a woman's touch on it. Still not happy with the bathing facilities, though. I do miss that big tub at the clinic, but I'll get something like that here eventually. Maybe I can rig up some kind of shower contraption. Will have to think on that._

_Thought I saw him today in the Lowtown market, but it turned out to be just a random tall, blond man. For some reason, the fact that it wasn't him made me want to cry. Part of me is still very hurt by his accusation and wants to do bodily harm to him, but the other part of me just wants to see him again, to be near him and touch him. But I can't give in to those feelings. His lack of trust in me has cut me too deeply, and I just can't put myself through that kind of pain again. Besides, I can't have him the way I want him anyway. He told me from the beginning that he could never have a normal relationship with anyone, not with Justice in his head. Mmph. Give me an old priest and a young priest, and I'll show Justice where he can go._

_I'd better get to bed. Varric is coming over tomorrow evening to collect the "rent", so I'm going to have a busy day preparing for that._

Bailey hummed to herself she finished pouring the batter she had just mixed up into her small cast iron Dutch oven cooking pot. She smiled as it mixed into the fruit she had poured in earlier. Setting the bowl aside, she grabbed the lid for the pot and walked into her living room to settle it into the low burning coals of her fireplace. Grabbing the nearby ash shovel, she scooped up some of the coals to pour them over the lid, ensuring a nice even heat all around the pot to cook the cobbler she was preparing for dinner that night. Just as she returned the small shovel to the stand, there was a knock on her front door. Cocking her head and furrowing her brow in confusion, she wiped her hands on her apron as she crossed the room to answer the door.

As she opened the door, she frowned even harder as she saw no one there. She started to shrug and turn to go back inside when her eye was caught by a flash of green near her feet. She looked down to find an elfroot plant, its roots carefully wrapped in a scrap of linen. A bit of white drew her eye to a small slip of parchment fastened around one of the branches. She pulled it off and opened it, only to find three simple words written on there; "For your garden".

Bailey's hand shook as she recognized the writing. She had, after all, seen it on papers scattered around the clinic for the past two years. She jerked her head up and looked from side to side, searching the area in front of her door for the only person who could have left the plant here, but he was nowhere to be seen. She stared down at the plant and cursed softly. "Dammit, Anders." He knew she wouldn't leave a plant to wither and die, especially one as useful as elfroot. With a sigh, she picked up the plant and turned to go back into her house.

As she walked through the front room and into the kitchen to go out into the attached garden, she couldn't help wondering just what he thought he would gain by this action. She snorted softly as she realized that she couldn't even _think_ of his name without feeling a sharp sting of pain in her chest. She sighed again and set the plant down near her herb shed and went to find a bucket to set the elfroot in until she could get around to planting it somewhere. She poured some water over the root ball to keep it damp, and then cleaned her own hands. As she was drying them with her apron, she heard another knock on her door. "That better not be another plant on my doorstep," she muttered, walking back through the front room to open the door yet again. What greeted her instead was a more pleasant surprise. "Sebastian!"

"Hello, Bailey. I hope I'm not interrupting you."

"Of course not. Please, come in!" She stepped back to let him in. Her eyes widened when he bent to pick up a wooden box that almost overflowed with greenery.

Sebastian gave her a grin as he caught the look on her face. "I hope you don't mind, but I brought you a few seedlings from Starkhaven. And Brian sent some herbs and a cutting from that yellow rose bush you love so much."

"That was very sweet of both of you. I don't mind at all. Come on; they can go outside for now next to the other stuff I need to plant tomorrow." She closed the door behind him as he stepped inside.

He came to a halt as he took in the space. "You've been busy. It looks very nice. More like a home."

"Thank you. Merrill made the curtains for me actually and Varric has been wonderful in acquiring what furnishings I needed." She walked on past him into the kitchen to open the back door.

He followed behind and again stopped in his tracks in the kitchen. "Maker! What is that wonderful smell?"

Bailey opened the back door and grinned over her shoulder at him. "That would be dinner. Also known as my rent." She stepped out of the way so he could go past her and down the steps into the back area of her garden.

He glanced up at her as he set the box next to the elfroot plant. "Rent?" he questioned, one eyebrow raised.

She laughed lightly as she joined him and began to fill her watering can to sprinkle some moisture over the new plants. "Yes. That was the deal. Varric would have let me live here for free, but the Merchant Guild would revoke his token if they found out, according to him. So, my "rent" is one home cooked meal per month. He chooses the dishes, I choose the dessert. It's a win-win situation. I get a place to live, he gets to eat well at least once a month, and the Guild is none the wiser."

Sebastian laughed. "It certainly does sound like it works for all involved."

She put her watering can away and went back inside. He followed and she handed him a cloth to wipe his hands with. "I made plenty. Would you like to stay for dinner? Varric wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be. I just invited you."

"Very well then. I accept."

She gave him another smile. "That wasn't so hard, now was it? So…would you like the grand tour of the house?"

He chuckled. "As opposed to the 5 copper tour? Of course." She stuck her tongue out at him briefly and for a split second he wondered what her mouth tasted like. He cleared his throat softly and said, "After you, my lady."

She gestured toward the back door. "You probably noticed the little shed out back. Varric had it built for me to have a place to dry my herbs. He really got interested when I told him that I could use them in my cooking." She circled her arm around herself. "Kitchen is self-explanatory. I do miss having a bread oven, though."

He lifted a hand and placed it on her shoulder. He squeezed gently, a silent declaration of sympathy. She gazed up at him and gave him a small smile that caused a strange flutter in his stomach. Before he could examine that reaction, though, she turned away and walked into the front room of her house.

Bailey was rather proud of how this room looked. There was a small writing desk to the right side of the door, a small stack of books placed on top of it. The fireplace was on the side wall, flanked by two windows that looked out over the garden. In front of the fireplace was a small sofa and to the side was a large armchair. There were plants in the corners of the room and a few of her drawings hung on the walls. Merrill's curtains draped the windows and were currently pulled to the side to allow the sunlight into the room. Sebastian joined her and said, "This looks like a very comfortable room to spend an evening in."

"It is. I've spent a few evenings in here, just reading." She gestured at the doorway on the wall opposite the fireplace. "Through there is my bedroom and the bathing chamber."

He glanced at the door and felt a sudden rush of heat as certain thoughts of her in the bath came to him unbidden. "I'm sure they are just as nice."

Bailey noticed the pink on his cheek as he turned his head back towards her and couldn't hold back a giggle. Her eyes sparkling with laughter, she said, "Don't worry, Sebastian. I'm not going to drag you in there." Her eyes suddenly dimmed and she muttered softly, "Despite what _some_ people might think."

He tilted his head as he regarded her, unsure of how to respond. He knew something had happened between her and the mage; something that had hurt her enough to make her leave what had obviously been a home that she had worked hard to build. He didn't really want to know, but at the same time… "What happened that day, Bailey?"

She blinked a few times and quietly said, "It doesn't matter."

Sebastian moved closer to her and lifted a hand to gently touch her cheek. "I think it does. It still pains you, whatever it was."

She looked up at him and finally said, "Accusations were made. Words were thrown. I might have even slapped him twice. The reason I say it doesn't matter is because…" She paused, searching for the right words. "He hurt me in a way that will only take time to heal. I thought he knew me better, had trusted me more. But I guess I was wrong. I mean, I still think that what he's doing for those people is good, but…words cut deeper than any knife and leave a scar on your soul."

He pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He felt her arms wrap around his torso as she laid her head against his chest. "Betrayal by someone you thought of as a friend is a deep pain. I wish I could make yours go away."

Bailey leaned back to gaze up at him. She lifted her hand to cup his cheek and quietly said, "You already do enough by simply accepting me with all of my flaws and quirks, Bastian."

He had begun to lean into her touch ever so slightly when her last word hit his ears. He stiffened and said, "What did you just call me?"

She dropped her hand and took a half step away from him, confusion clear on her face. "I called you Bastian. Did I do something wrong?"

He shook his head and blinked, forcing the lump that had formed in his throat back down. "No. It's just…" He closed his eyes for a moment. "My mother used to call me that. Before…" _'Before I broke her heart. Before I left. Before she died…'_

Bailey watched the fast flicker of emotions on his face. She never could stand to see someone hurting without trying to help. So, she stepped close to him again and wrapped her arms around his neck, one of her hands gently stroking the back of his head. She said nothing and even managed to not gasp out loud when his arms suddenly squeezed her torso. Minutes passed as they comforted each other, silently.

Sebastian was the first one to loosen his grip and step away. He did so reluctantly; it felt good to hold a woman close. _'Too good,'_ he thought. But he had years of trained discipline to fall back on, even though it was getting harder and harder to ignore her sweet and caring nature.

Bailey dropped her arms and tried not to look as awkward as she suddenly felt. Her mind searched frantically for something to say. Oh, yeah…the plants he'd brought her. "You know, there are still a couple of hours to waste before Varric comes to dinner. Why don't we go out into the garden and you can educate me on the flowers and plants you brought for me?"

He smiled and said, "Excellent idea. Some of them do have particular requirements as far as soil, sun, and water needs. After you, my lady?" He turned and made a sweeping gesture towards the kitchen with his left arm. He hoped that she hadn't noticed the way his voice had dropped in timbre on his last words.

They spent the next hour in the sunshine of her garden, discussing the various needs for each plant and deciding the placement for each one. The cutting from the yellow rose bush in the Chantry garden was placed in the back corner near the small water fountain. Bailey knew from experience that the humidity of that spot would amplify the scent of the blooms. Sebastian volunteered to dig the holes for her, so she fetched her garden spade and handed it to him. As he dug the holes, she followed behind, setting each plant in and covering the roots, then giving each a nice bit of water. At one point, she glanced at Sebastian to find he had lifted the hem of his tunic to wipe the moisture from his face, inadvertently giving her a good view of his stomach and the lower part of his chest. _'Oh dear lord. I could do laundry on that stomach. What in the _world_ does he do to keep in shape like that?'_ she wondered. He dropped his shirt back into place and saw her gazing at him. She felt heat rising on her cheeks at being caught staring and blurted, "You seem to know a lot about gardening. Doesn't seem like something a prince would be concerned with."

Sebastian laughed before replying. He hadn't missed the way she had looked at him, nor did he miss the tint on her cheeks that had nothing to do with being in the sun and heat. "Well, honestly, I didn't know a thing about it until I came to Chantry. One of my duties as an initiate was helping Brother Brian. I continue to help out a couple of hours each day in return for his allowing me to keep my archery targets in the garden."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"And you? I would guess that you learned from your family?"

Bailey sat back on her heels and smiled. "Yes. I can remember being a little girl and going into my grandmother's garden to help her pick okra. She would always make sure to slip a pair of socks onto my hands so the little prickly hairs didn't irritate my skin. As I got older, I learned more about how to tend the plants; tying up the trailing pea vines, staking tomato plants, how to tell when the corn was ripe. Herbs and flowers were easy compared to caring for a vegetable garden. But I wouldn't trade that knowledge for anything now that I'm older and alone, on my own."

Sebastian stopped digging and leaned on the handle of the spade. Before he could think twice about it, he said, "You will never be alone, Bailey. Not while I draw breath." She stared up at him, a question clear in her eyes. He cleared his throat softly and began digging again. "I mean…you are a friend and I wouldn't turn my back on a friend."

"Thank you, Bastian. That means a lot to me."

He inclined his head and they continued to work in companionable silence until the last plant was in the ground. As Bailey poured water over the last one to settle the soil he said, "What about the elfroot that I saw by your herb shed? Does that need planting as well? Since I'm digging holes anyway, that is."

She looked up at him and set her lips a bit. "Oh, yeah. That. Yeah, I should plant it. It is a useful plant."

He tilted his head and looked at her in question. "Is there a reason you sound less than thrilled about it?"

"Not really. It's just that…well…it was left on my doorstep by a particular person and I don't really know what his motive was for doing it."

"Ah. I see." He shrugged and said, "Perhaps it was simply because he knows you would have a use for it and…" He paused. "I suppose I would question it, too, were I in your place."

Bailey looked around her garden and pointed towards a corner near the front. "I'll put it over there. That corner doesn't get a lot of direct sun, which would be perfect for the elfroot."

Sebastian walked over to the corner she had indicated and began the break the ground. As he piled the soil up, he wondered just what Anders was trying to do by leaving her a plant. He would have called it odd behavior, had he himself not shown up at her door with a whole box full of them. Bailey soon joined him and pulled the plant from the bucket and unwrapped the root ball, then set it into the hole. She held it straight while he pushed the dirt back in around it and tamped it down. A final watering and the planting was done.

As they walked back towards the herb shed to put up the shovel and bucket, Bailey glanced at him and said, "If you would like to clean up a bit before dinner, you are welcome to do so in my bathing room. I keep a pot of water on a brazier in there for quick wash-ups."

He set the shovel inside the shed and took the bucket from her to set it inside as well. "I can use the sink in the kitchen. I don't mind a bit of cold water."

"But…"

He turned to look at her, his hands low on his hips. "Bailey. I'm sure that you want to clean up as well. I'll not take up all of your warm water. I've bathed in cold plenty of times, so it doesn't bother me."

She blinked at him and finally nodded. "Well, if you put it like that…"

He grinned and walked past her to open the back door. He bowed a little and said, "My lady."

She gave him a playful courtesy and then sashayed past him into the kitchen. He followed behind her and she pointed toward a cabinet in the corner. "There are some clean linens in there to dry yourself with. I won't be long; Varric should be here soon, and I need to make sure the cobbler is done before he gets here."

He watched her disappear into her bedroom and turned towards the sink. He'd noticed earlier that the house was equipped with an indoor water pump. He wondered briefly if there was one in the bathing room as well; and that thought led to others that he quickly tamped down. With a sigh, he pulled his tunic over his head and draped it on the back of a chair. He opened the cabinet she had indicated and pulled out a small bit of cloth. As he washed, he considered the way Bailey had been creeping into his thoughts more often lately. One moment, he could be studying the Chant and the next moment, find himself thinking of something she had said or how she looked as they rode through the meadows surrounding the city. He had tried to trace back to the moment when his feelings had begun to switch from merely 'friendly' to…well, more than that. Was it when she had admitted to a fear of horses? Or was it the day he had told her about his father and she had touched his cheek so sweetly? Of course, it could have been the day she stood up to him about the mage's actions in Darktown. It bothered him to some extent that he couldn't put a finger on the exact moment. With a shake of his head, he finished cleaning up and grabbed his tunic to pull it back on.

Bailey walked into the kitchen to find Sebastian naked from the waist up, his back to her. He was putting his tunic back on, and she leaned against the door frame to admire the way his back muscles moved. For a brief moment, the sight was replaced in her mind by someone a bit thinner, but no less muscled, with blond hair that brushed over his shoulders. She shook her head fiercely to dispel the mental image. Just in time, too, as Sebastian turned and caught her standing there. He looked surprised for only a moment, and then his face melted into an easy smile. His eyes twinkled, and one dark eyebrow arched upward as he looked at her. She rolled her eyes at him and said, "Oh, stop. I came in just as you were putting your shirt back on. I wasn't standing here ogling you."

He tilted his head and said, "Ogling?"

"It's, um…watching someone of the opposite sex and admiring the way they look…" She paused. "Alright, maybe I was ogling you."

His heart sped up a bit at those words. _'She was admiring me…'_ he thought. He casually sauntered towards her until he was only inches from her. He gazed down at her and quietly said, "So, you liked what you saw, then?"

She stared up into his blue eyes and searched for an answer to his question that wouldn't discourage him, but wouldn't exactly _encourage_ him either. Luckily, she was saved when a wayward breeze brushed past her nose, carrying the scent of the cobbler. "Um…Varric should be here pretty soon. Would you mind getting some plates from the shelf? I need to check the dessert and make sure it hasn't burned." She turned away from him quickly and darted over to the fireplace to rescue her pot.

Sebastian watched her go and felt the corner of his mouth twitch upward. That hadn't been a 'yes', but it wasn't a 'no' either. _'I shouldn't even be wondering about it anyway,'_ he reminded himself as he turned to fetch the plates as she requested. Going a step further, he gathered eating utensils from a small basket she had sitting on the counter and began to set the table. She gave him a smile as she walked into the kitchen with the handle of a black iron pot hanging from her fireplace poker. He watched as she set it down carefully and then left to return the poker to the living room.

Just as Bailey hung the poker on its peg, a knock sounded on the door. With a smile, she went to answer it. "Varric!"

"Hello, Blossom. Hope I'm not too early," he said, stepping inside. He handed her a dark green bottle. "My contribution."

"Ah, you didn't have to do that." She caught his quick glance at the kitchen door and looked over her shoulder to see that Sebastian had entered the room. "I, um, hope you don't mind, but I invited Sebastian to eat with us tonight."

Varric studied her and narrowed his eyes almost imperceptibly. After only a moment, he gave them both a grin and said, "Of course not. It will give me the chance to talk to Choir Boy and get to know him better."

Sebastian started at Varric's words. He raised an eyebrow and said, "Choir Boy?"

Bailey turned towards him and said, "He does that; gives everyone a nickname. I'm Blossom, Merrill is Daisy, Fenris is Broody…and now, I guess you get Choir Boy."

Sebastian blinked. Finally, he shrugged and said, "At least it's better than Fancy Pants or something equivalent."

Varric snapped his fingers and muttered, "I didn't think of that, dammit."

Bailey laughed and handed the bottle over to Sebastian. "Would you mind opening that? I think there is a corkscrew in the basket of utensils on my counter. And…I may need you to reach the goblets on the top shelf."

Sebastian's lips twitched. "Why would someone as…um…not tall as you keep the wine goblets on the top shelf?"

"Because I don't have several occasions to drink wine? And I'll forget the 'not tall' remark in exchange for you digging all of those holes for me this afternoon."

He bowed formally and said, "Your magnanimity overwhelms me. I shall fetch the goblets posthaste, my lady."

As he turned and went back into the kitchen, she caught the look on Varric's face. "What?"

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just writing up the plot in my mind. The mysterious woman woos and seduces the exiled Prince away from his chosen life of sacred study. I think I'll call it-"

"You won't call it anything but a dream. Nothing is going on, Varric." She turned away from him to walk into the kitchen.

Varric let out a low chuckle and murmured, "Don't kid yourself, Blossom. That boy has it bad. Probably as bad as Blondie." He shook his head and went into the kitchen to join them.

Dinner was a somewhat jovial event. Sebastian opened up more than Bailey had ever seen and told Varric stories of the trouble he would get into with his older brothers before he left home. Varric reciprocated by explaining how he always managed to get his brother blamed for anything he did. The both turned to look at Bailey and she just grinned. "What? I was the baby. Gotta love me!"

Shortly after that, she served up the dessert and Varric moaned in a way that had her leaning away from him and raising both eyebrows in question. "Bailey, I will give you a bigger house if you would just make this for me once a week."

She laughed at that. "Dammit, Varric, I just got this one set up the way I like it. But, tell you what. I'll see what I can do about making it twice a month for you. At least while the berries and fruits are still in season."

"Deal. Hell, I'll have some shipped in over the winter as well. This is delicious."

"I'm glad you like it. This was one of the first sweets that my mother taught me how to make. I've never forgotten it, since the recipe is so simple." She looked over at Sebastian and noticed he simply had his eyes closed as he chewed slowly. "Sebastian?"

His eyes opened slowly and he gave her a smile. "If it weren't forbidden, I would go down on my knees right now and beg you for the recipe for the cooks at the Chantry. But alas, this would be considered too…decadent."

She reached over and touched his hand. "I'll let you know when I'm making it so you can come over, too."

After dessert, they took their wine into the living room and sat in front of the fire, talking quietly and companionably. Varric asked how Sebastian's quest to regain his family's throne was going, and Sebastian told them both of how he had discovered who had been the force behind the murder of his parents and brothers. The information was new to Bailey, and she could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke. Suddenly, his words from earlier that day about betrayal from a friend made more sense to her, and she reached out to squeeze his hand in hers.

Eventually, the evening had to come to end, and Varric stood from the chair. "Well, Blossom. Thank you for paying the rent in such a spectacular manner. Same time next month?"

"Of course, Varric. Let me know what dishes you want, and I'll do my best to prepare them. Oh, before you go, let me dish up some of the cobbler to take with you. Sebastian, would you like some as well?"

He shrugged and said, "I could take it to Brian, if you wish."

"That would be wonderful. It's the least I can do to thank him for the herbs and cuttings he sent over."

She went into the kitchen and prepared two bowls, then wrapped them in some linen cloth. Sebastian walked in and said, "Just put mine on the table. I'll help you clean up a bit before I leave, if that's alright."

"Oh! You don't have to; you've done so much for me today already-"

He put his hands on her shoulders and tilted his head down to catch her eyes. "Bailey. I want to. Now, go say good night to Varric, and I'll start on the dishes in here." He stepped aside and lightly pushed her towards the doorway. She looked at him, but he had already turned away, rolling up his sleeves. She shook her head and went back into the living room.

"Here you go, Varric." She handed him the bowl and he smiled.

"Thank you. Do I need to wait for Choir Boy?"

"Naw, he's in there doing dishes, believe it or not." She laughed lightly. "I told him he didn't have to, but he insisted."

Varric tilted his head and gave her a knowing smile. "Well, in that case…" He walked over to the door and opened it to leave. As he did so, he caught a shadow move against the corner of the house across from Bailey's. His eyes narrowed in contemplation, and then he turned to give Bailey a nod. "Good night, Bailey. Make sure to lock up tight before you go to bed."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, drat. And here I was planning on having an open house. Good night, Varric. See you soon for a game of Wicked Grace…or poker."

He chuckled as she closed the door, and then turned his attention back to the shadow across the way. He casually sauntered over and leaned against the wall. In a low voice, he said, "Your stealth skills are getting rusty, Blondie."

Anders moved closer to the corner and said, "How did you know it was me?"

"Your hair reflected the light. You should wear a hood if you are going to sneak around." He looked down at the bowl in his hand and passed it over to Anders. "Here. I was going to bring it to you anyway."

"What is it?"

"She called it a cobbler. Fruit and cake sort of baked together to make a delicious mess." He felt Anders take the bowl and then said, "So how long have you been out here? And how long were you planning on staying?"

"About an hour and I don't know."

Varric shook his head. "Why are you doing this?"

Anders was quiet for a moment. "I don't know that either." He paused. "Is she…is she alright? I mean…is she happy?"

Varric sighed. "She covers well. Most of the time, she is alright, but I've seen a sort of sad look in her eye sometimes when she comes over to visit. I caught her staring at one of my chairs the other night, and I could have sworn she was going to cry. Aside from that…I think she is just taking it one day at a time. Broken hearts take time to mend."

Anders nodded, even though Varric couldn't see him. They both looked up as her door opened again. Anders moved around the corner again, and Varric somehow _disappeared_ into the shadows.

Sebastian stepped outside and turned to look down at Bailey. "So, will you be meeting me at the stable tomorrow morning for our ride? Bring your bow; it's still early enough that we might be able to get a few ducks."

Bailey looked up at him and smiled. "Of course I'll be there. Tempe would be disappointed if I didn't show up each morning."

"You've gone and spoiled my horse, haven't you?"

"No. She was already spoiled."

They both laughed for a moment. Sebastian reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. "Will you be alright? I know today hasn't been the best for you."

"I'll be fine, Bastian. Thank you. Now, be careful getting home. Varric seemed agitated when he left earlier."

"I'm a big boy, in case you haven't noticed. One might even call me a fully grown man." His hand trailed down her arm until he caught her fingers. He lifted her hand and bowed his head over it, then pressed a kiss onto her knuckles. His lips lingered perhaps a moment longer than necessary before he lifted his head and smiled at her. "Good night, Bailey."

"Good night, Sebastian."

He dropped her hand and stood still. "I'm not leaving until you are inside with the door locked."

"Oh, for… Fine. You and Varric both are worrisome." With that, she went inside and closed the door. Sebastian smiled as he heard the bolt turn and the bar lowered into place. He turned and headed away from the door towards Hightown and the small bed in the small room in the Chantry dormitory that he called home.

Varric shook his head as he stepped away from the wall. "Blondie, you had better make up your mind about what you want to do, because that is a man that likes what he sees when he looks at Bailey." When no answer came, he looked around the corner. The only thing he saw was the bowl of cobbler setting on the ground. "Huh. Maybe I spoke too soon about his stealth skills…"

* * *

_Author's note: *head desk* Soooo sorry this has taken so long. The past two months have been crazy at work; I've been working so much overtime, it equals up to 6 days a week. And, well, this was kind of a hard chapter to write, since the dynamics of the story are undergoing a major twist up. Hopefully, the wait for the next chapter won't be nearly as long...since I've already started writing it in my head, and recording bits of it on my phone on the drive home each day. I hope this chapter has been worth the long wait._


End file.
